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It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way your
hand always felt so weightless in mine,
but the absence of it—of you—
feels so heavy.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way
the beat of your heart
and the waves of your breathing
created a rhythm just for my soul.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep.
I’m thinking about the way
the skin crinkles at the corners of your eyes
whenever you smile or laugh.

It’s late, and I can’t sleep
Cause now I sleep alone
And the bed feels so cold

It’s late
And I can’t sleep
Idk. Just a “shorter ish” version of the other one
To be loved is to be seen
And I never realized just how invisible I felt
Until you came along
And saw me in full color
Como duele que seas ajena.
Ajena de mis brazos
y mi cariño.

Saber que entregas tu boca,
como si fuera  el manantial
del cual todos pueden beber
su agua cristalina.

Me amargan
estos celos que no deberían
ser míos.

Sé que no somos nada,
porque eres
ajena a mí.

Ajena de esos besos
que podrían cubrir
tu cuerpo.

Ajena porque no sabes
la vida que podría
prometerte,
los desvelos libidinosos
para que nuestro placer conmute.

Pero prefieres vivir
libre como el aire
que te despeina,
probar todos los sabores
que la vida te sirva.

Por eso
malgido el haberte conocido
aquel diciembre inolvidable.

Porque ahora
mi mente solo sabe
de tí. De tus olores,
de tus labios de algodón
y tu piel café.

De tus gustos,
de esa risa que me atonta,
sabiendo que tú
eres ajena.
Caigo en mi propio juego.
Intento ser versátil.
Mi mente me juega en contra.

Lamentos llueven,
falsas ilusiones desfilan,
como primero de mayo
que nunca acaba.

Y cuando por fin parece
que logro escaparme
de tus encantos tentadores,
vuelves a besarme en la mejilla,
y a seducirme con tu sonrisa.
Tu cuerpo me habla,
y dice cosas muy bonitas.
Me implora que sea su dueño,
que lo sacuda, lo estremezca,
que lo muerda y lo bese.

Tu cuerpo me habla,
sobre tentaciones que nos llaman
a los placeres compartidos.
Me pide la brutalidad de la ternura
y la ternura de la violencia.
Quiere que lo azote con afecto,
que lo acaricie con rigor.

Tu cuerpo me llama y me invita,
a aquel instinto humano
de dibujarte con la boca;
a la supremacía de las caricias,
a la tortura de la lengua
que embelesa a los sentidos.

Tu cuerpo me habla,
y yo le escucho con mis manos,
respondiendo a cada orden
sediento por sus encantos.
Como duele el pecho
cuando se sufre.

Ya no son mariposas
lo que guarda en su interior.
Siento hormigas talandrándome
hasta lo más profundo.
Como miles de cuchillas
cortando a la vez.

A veces quisiera
poder abrir mi pecho,
como si fuera una maleta.
Sacar mi corazón y esconderlo.
O para preguntarle
cómo puede ser tan estúpido,
por qué vuelve a lanzarse
al mismo vacío,
una y otra vez.
We are led by our own desires

Not inspired by God

The wish is father to the thought

Born from what's desired
genuine

so many ordinary bees in our vocab hive,
workers, important, but rarely seen,
some never, or rarely trotted out,
no-fresh air, we just must be too too, too
busy, busy

had occasion to employ said titular
queen word recently, a love story
that strummed a chord of the
randomness of good love,
genuine slipped out unexpectedly,
this word, a crowning modifier to a
love poem herein written

truly a word not used too often,
perhaps because we live in a time
when it is a quality rare, though
much celebrated, like so much,
has becomes a debated talking point

but genuine is not hard to be
uncovered, it has a warmth heater
generator internal, a signal signal,
that is hard to be disguised or
mistaken

but our sensitivities are dulled,
easily misled, by the shouting and
the latent bitterness that runs through
the veins of our ordinary conversations,
making it more difficult to believe our
five sensory discernments, to what is,
and what is not,

but love, perhaps, is a genuine genetic,
at a cellular level quality that has evolved over millennia, so easier to spot, it’s heated hot, and awhy a love story should be the focus causation of my happiness, that it
yet thrives, and functions and supplies
we humans, a chance to see, to believe,
that genuine yet exists, inward and
unwarped, within we ordinaries
for a.v.

MLK  Day 2025
I can feel the rough rope
Gently caressing my neck
Embracing it like an old friend
I'm not afraid, I'm just tired
So very tired of everything

So I take a deep breath, 1, 2, 3...
And in a passionless swift move
I kick the bench under my feet
Dance in the air for a little while
Until I finally find my peace
Note 1: this poem was reported and taken out of HP. After a review, it went back on (gladly Eliot York has more sense than the one who flagged it).
Note 2: if you're having this kind of thoughts, please, talk about it. Seek help!
Original note: Another nightmare I had last week. Woke up sweating and frantically kicking the air.
It's not like suicide is a new thing to me - I attempted it when I was 15... but I haven't had suicidal thoughts in many years. And that's as scary as it gets. I don't wanna give in to them.
My friends used
To always be around
Good times, bad times
It didn't really matter
Every day was a new
Exciting adventure

Fast forward 10 years
Our group is scattered
All over the world and
We've become merely
Memoirs to reminisce
On my insomnia nights
Realized I don't have any friend left. Did my depression took the best of me? Did I become that dull? Or that's just how being a grown up supposed to be? I really couldn't say...
I never felt more alone.
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