Your skin is the color of bark on trees that have been here through every hurricane.

Your skin is the color of soil that brings life and replenishes the earth.

Brown is soft, silky, and sophisticated. 

Your skin is comfort and reliability. 

They said your skin was the color of dirt as an insult… 

But they didn't know that brown was the color of mountains that stood tall no matter how many people stepped on them. 

Your brown skin is strength, beauty, and acceptance. 

Your brown skin is beautiful.

how do I look at pictures of us and be okay with you just being a memory...

I know it's getting bad when the four walls and popcorn ceiling of my room are the highlights of my day.

I know it's getting bad when spontaneous trips to the beach become intentional trips to the bathroom.

I know it's getting bad when jeans turn into week old sweatpants and blouses turn into t shirts I dug out the ***** clothes bin.

I know it's getting bad when I force myself out of bed five minutes before I have to make it to class and I don't have the energy to brush my teeth.

I know it's getting bad when the blue light from my phone is brighter than the loving light from my family.

I know it's getting bad...

but I don't know how to make it okay again.

When he called himself a bottomless pit I should have listened.


He stole my flame and spit out me out like I was nothing more than gunk stuck between his teeth.

To me our light was brighter than the sun.
To him our light was a flame lit by a match.
To me our light was limitless.
To him our light was ephemeral.

there are millions of stars the sky
. . .
but the One still catches my eye every night

I have a love-hate relationship with my scars.

I love them because they show how far I've come, they show that I am stronger now than I was then.

I hate them because they are a constant reminder of when I was ar my worse.

Sometimes I see them and I want to reopen them but I quickly push that thought away from my minds eye. I won't end up down that hole again I worked too hard to get where I am today.

You don't have to be skinny to love yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.



You don't have to be skinny to love yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.



You don't have to be skinny to love yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.



You don't have to be skinny to love yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.




You don't have to be skinny to love yourself.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.

I want so badly not to miss you.
I want to be able to delete photos of you without hesitation.
I want to not think of how you're doing or what you're doing or if you've eaten today.
I want to be able to forget you the way you forgot me.

Falling for him felt like falling out the sky, fast winds whipping past my face.
Sort of like floating but not really because I'm only going down.
Down
Down
Down
until I can see the ground and I know the end is near.  
I hug myself tight and my eyes water as I brace myself for the ground.
I break into a million pieces,
when I look up to see you flying with another girl, leaving me broken.

I look in the mirror at the aftermath of our night… 
Starting at my hair, I run my fingers through thinking of your tight grip and how you made me look at you as you entered me. 
I trail my hands down to my neck where you left kisses and red hickeys in a beautiful pattern so that the world knew I was spoken for. 
Down to my chest where I could feel the imprints you left with your teeth and I could still feel your wet mouth against my *******.
Past my stomach where I remember you left a path of kisses as you took your time teasing me more and more. 
I linger at my ***** thinking of the soft kisses and hard thrusts you left between my legs. 
On my *** you left red handprints for me to feel for days until I'd see you again. 
I think of your thigh kisses and the bites you left between.
As I spread my legs softly playing with the mess of a woman you left behind. I let myself go waiting for your next return. I lay in bed naked because the only thing that looks good on me is you. 
So I will stay here and wait until I can feel your hands against my skin once more.

The day I killed myself I woke up like any other.
I grabbed coffee and chatted with my family.
I ate breakfast and kissed my dog.
I went to school and turned in my homework.
The day I killed myself I made plans to have lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile.
I laughed with my best friend.
I gave my little sister my favorite teddy bear.
The day I killed myself my mom yelled at me for not finishing the dishes.
My older sister worked a late shift.
My aunt watched my cousins.
The day I killed myself I took a bottle of pills and layed in bed.
I cried and stared at the wall waiting for someone to come in and no one did.
The day I killed myself I died alone, because no one knew the extent of my pain.

The only thing keeping me alive right now is knowing that everyone around me will be broken... and I love them so much I dont ever want them to feel like I do.

Month old coffee and empty bottles
Dead plants and dusty curtains
Clothes cover the floor
No sheets on the bed
Hoodie and shorts from last week
Stiff hair secured in a loose bun
Tear stained pillow
Sorrowful thoughts yet a barren mind
Pills swallowed earlier taking effect
Soul leaving her, bare and alone
Returning to the place before birth
Hoping to be born again in different skin

I'm on top of the world
But at my lowest
Everything looks so small up here
The city lights are beautiful
A beautiful sight for a tragic end.
The wind is cool against my cheek
It smells alive...
One step and its over
One step and I'm at peace.
One step... and no more city lights...

I dont want to be perfect.
I just want to be the best version of myself.

My depression came in as a wave
and ended up a tsunami.

I often ask myself why its so hard to smile some days and why I cry everyday and im easily angered some days and other days I dont feel anything at all and im just numb. I ask myself why I cant just be happy and why I cant just get my ******* grades up and get my life together. Its cause I'm ******* depressed. Then the question "Well why are you depressed" comes to play and I feel like I dont have a good reason to be depressed. I'm alive aren't I? Everyday is the same. Wake up, dread seeing my family, dread going to class, push people away, cry, skip meals or eat to much junk, tearing myself into pieces until I am no more, until I fade away never to cause another problem in someone's life and never to fake another smile... I don't wanna be here anymore.

I try not to cry but sometimes my vision is clouded with tears as they start chasing each other down my face.
They fall to my chest playing in a pool of emotions.
I cant contain them anymore.

Sunflowers grow facing the sun... if they can not find the sun they face each other.

Growth is a process that is needed in everyone's life.
But you may not always be able to find the sun to be able to grow.
It's going to be hard cause nothing is easy. But if you cant find the sun... find your sun, and blossom into the beautiful sunflower you're meant to be.

When I was 10 years old
The only things I worried about
Was coming to school late
Or accidentally getting the same backpack as someone in my class
When I was 10 years old
The only scars I had were those that I got after falling on the playground
When I was 10 years old the only thing I was scared of was horror movies and clowns
Ten year olds today
Worry about how they look
Their size, if they have too much “baby fat”
They worry about perfection as if anyone can achieve perfection
Ten year olds today have self inflicted scars
From constantly being told they aren’t good enough
Ten year olds today
Have to fear going to school everyday because this day a man might come with a gun and even if I don’t get shot how can I recover from seeing that
And yet society says kids have no stress

It's so close
I can almost see it

Which mask do i choose today
The one that smiles and hides the pain
The one that shows that i'm in vain
The one with the laughing eyes
The one that never ever cries
Which mask do i choose today
The one with a smiling face
The one that always takes my place
The one that never shows a frown
The one that usually wears the crown
Which mask do i choose today
The one that hides my fears
The one that clears my tears
I'm tired of lying
These tears I've been crying
Are proof of the sadness
The madness
And the pain
Yet i choose a mask everyday
No mask is the same

She is beautiful
she walks with poise
she speaks with elegance
she sees with eyes full of pain
she listens though she is never heard
her skin is as rich as chocolate
her hair is like wool
her back is scared from the knives in your hands
her feet are cut from the miles she walks
her legs are weak from running to get away from your words
But
she walks with poise
she speaks with elegance
her skin is exquisite
her hair is curly
this woman thats been to the deepest parts of
The Devils Palace
is beautiful
She is "A Work Of Art"

What is this
What am i feeling
My palms are sweating
Also my top lip
I saw you from afar
I hoped you hadn't noticed me
I'm afraid to speak to you
You caught me staring
We gazed into each others eyes
I could only imagine you saw my soul
I found myself
Looking into your eyes
I could do anything
I could
Fly
Conquer
and
Love
I adore you
I yearn you
I like you
I Love You
but
I cant have you

I was sitting by a lake when i saw her
a girl in the water
she looked as if she were drowning
she tried saying something to me
i couldnt hear
i ran to the closest person to me
i scream at them shes in there help her shes drowning
the man cant seem to hear me
i move on to the next people
a couple i tell them
please help her she is drowning she needs help
please
no matter how loud i scream no one can hear me
i decide to help her myself
i cant swim
but i do it anyway
i jump in
im am able to walk until im half way to the girl
theres a drop i almost fall and go under but i get up
and to my surprise
im swimming
i get to the girl and realize why no one could hear me
the girl
drowning in the lake
is me?