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Crystal Goddess Nov 2020
I dont want to be perfect.
I just want to be the best version of myself.
Crystal Goddess Nov 2020
My depression came in as a wave
and ended up a tsunami.
Crystal Goddess Nov 2020
I often ask myself why its so hard to smile some days and why I cry everyday and im easily angered some days and other days I dont feel anything at all and im just numb. I ask myself why I cant just be happy and why I cant just get my ******* grades up and get my life together. Its cause I'm ******* depressed. Then the question "Well why are you depressed" comes to play and I feel like I dont have a good reason to be depressed. I'm alive aren't I? Everyday is the same. Wake up, dread seeing my family, dread going to class, push people away, cry, skip meals or eat to much junk, tearing myself into pieces until I am no more, until I fade away never to cause another problem in someone's life and never to fake another smile... I don't wanna be here anymore.
I just started typing and let out what I've been keeping in.
Crystal Goddess Jan 2020
I try not to cry but sometimes my vision is clouded with tears as they start chasing each other down my face.
They fall to my chest playing in a pool of emotions.
I cant contain them anymore.
Crystal Goddess Dec 2019
Sunflowers grow facing the sun... if they can not find the sun they face each other.

Growth is a process that is needed in everyone's life.
But you may not always be able to find the sun to be able to grow.
It's going to be hard cause nothing is easy. But if you cant find the sun... find your sun, and blossom into the beautiful sunflower you're meant to be.
Crystal Goddess Nov 2019
My black is not a crime.
I can't walk down the street without feeling the eyes of judgment, wondering if I'm a danger or not.
My black is not a crime.
Walking into a store I'm being followed so that the workers are sure I'm not a thief.
My black is not a crime.
When a police officer pulls me over I keep my hands where they can see them at all times, cause the last thing we need is another black person on the news, dead.
My black is not a crime.
I don't go out at night in fear of being shot and the last thing I hear is "I thought they were a criminal"
My black is not a crime!
I'm scared to have kids one day because how could I bring a life into a world with so much hate because of skin color.
My black is not a crime!
I could be killed right now and what will be on the news?
"Seveneen-year-old girl supposed drug dealer, supposed gang member, supposed danger!"
My black is not a crime!
All you will hear after I die is the wrong I did you will never hear the good they will say I brought this on myself as if I pulled the ******* trigger!
MY BLACK IS NOT A CRIME!
I'm sick of seeing my people be killed, having to leave their families in pain and sorrow over a misunderstanding and only getting a sorry *** apology!
OUR BLACK IS NOT A CRIME!
I'm a proud black woman and I will continue to be one. Yall say safe out there.
Crystal Goddess Nov 2018
When I was 10 years old
The only things I worried about
Was coming to school late
Or accidentally getting the same backpack as someone in my class
When I was 10 years old
The only scars I had were those that I got after falling on the playground
When I was 10 years old the only thing I was scared of was horror movies and clowns
Ten year olds today
Worry about how they look
Their size, if they have too much “baby fat”
They worry about perfection as if anyone can achieve perfection
Ten year olds today have self inflicted scars
From constantly being told they aren’t good enough
Ten year olds today
Have to fear going to school everyday because this day a man might come with a gun and even if I don’t get shot how can I recover from seeing that
And yet society says kids have no stress
I’m backkkkkk!!!!!
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