I thought if I could swallow the stars
I’d be as beautiful as the evening sky
I tried one night    with fireflies
They burned my throat
Their legs striking at soft flesh
But my skin did not glow
No moon crawled from my eye sockets
I was left with corpses in my stomach
I soon learned I would only ever be
A cemetery

I'm an athlete.
I can throw and catch,
and run in the sun-
all shiny and bright.
And you just sleep, sleep, sleep.

Look at me, mama.
I'm a writer.
I do poetry and stories,
all pretty and pink,
and all you do is,
sleep, sleep, sleep.

Look at me, mama.
I can dance.
I'm lonely,
I'll move to France,
meet a woman, and get married.
Look at the ants crawl through
the spilled red juice on
the grass, nature everywhere,
as you sleep, sleep, sleep. 

Look mama,
Look at me, mama!
I have children now,
all good and wise,
you're a grandma.
Why don't you wake up?

Please look at me, mama.
Open your eyes.
I'm lonely and afraid.
I'm old now, and cold,
and you still,
just
sleep, sleep, sleep...

soon, i will say good-bye.
i will hold you between my palms as you take your final breaths
i will look into your eyes as they close for the last time
i will whisper "i love you" as you still in my arms

and i know
i will wonder if having you was ever worth it
i know
i will cry and scream with the bitterness, the injustice of it all
and i know.
i will decide that i could never regret loving you.

i know, i know, i know.

i will not ascend to the kingdom of god
nor fall to greet my demons as old friends

rather, permit my bones to blend with the soil of your garden
let my blood affix to the roots of the quivering yew
and allow me to rest in the arms of the earth

for my time here was heaven
and i've no need of more than you.

Tonight, as several others
I, we, the night and I write
Perhaps nothing profound
But entirely poured out
What is willing from a tilled soul
Turned over and we exposed
Emotions to use as few chose
In circular flight on wings of words
I offer another glimpse of the one
Frightened and tired I bury inside.
We, with the night tried.

Drawing little tears
I trace around lines
small oval shaped drops
I cut away from your eyes
pasting them in a scrapbook
for the hurting to see
Inviting all to look
how sorrow is set free
tear out the paper
fold into a plane
crease down the corners
and fly away the pain