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 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
fallacies
i know for a fact
that she means a lot to me,
that i love her;
and care for her so much

but i couldn't say
the same thing
for myself
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Shi Em
for every carving that he made unto my skin,
it bled out words that turned the spotlight
unto him;
and each and everyday,
my identity would grow thin,
was I really who I am,
or just a sculpture that his hands held
in between?
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Shi Em
i never truly minded having
these aches
if it were to mean that my
heart was still beating.
i would still prefer this over
most days where I feel like
my soul has been ****** out
of everything.

so at the very least -
thank you for reminding me that
my soul still resides
in this body that you've left
hanging with nothing to bleed
out but words.
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Shi Em
They say pain hurts the most when it comes
knocking on our doors unexpectedly,
but I would beg to differ.
The most painful type of pain
takes years to cultivate.
it is when we,
for some reason
become so used to it
to the point that we become numb,
turning into statues of empty souls
dressing up as humans.
Day 1
I see you, you see me, hellos are exchanged.

Day 2
You call me pretty. You ask me on a date. I tell him no.

Day 3
He sees me again, drags me in a deserted alley. I say no. I scream no. I shout, but no one listens. His friends arrive, I resist, I ask them to leave me, but they left unconscious.

Day 4
I wake up naked, in a deserted alley, with my clothes all tattered. I cry, I call for help, no one does. I stand up, walk towards my home, facing the murmurs of the neighbours.

Day 5
I lay unconscious in my shower, from all the crying.

Day 10
I force my legs to move out of the house, only to feel disgusted by the male species there.

Day 15
I wake up to see my friend moving out for she can’t stay with a **** survivor.

Day 18
I force myself again to step out of the house. I cross the street, only to be haunted by their faces, only to feel their voices echo in my ears.

Day 20
I visit the police station. The investigation began. I showed them the bruises. But the police officer’s ***** looks made me return back.

Day 30
I start with my therapy sessions.

Day 65
I had a panic attack again, this evening, when a guy asked me out.

Day 70
I saw their faces again. In that alley. Under my leg. In my lips.

Day 120
I saved a girl today from being *****.

Day 200
I have started having nightmares, again.

Day 250
Today was my last therapy session.

Day 300
I plan to speak up.
Day 301
I visited the police station.

Day 305
They asked me why did I take so long? I had no answer.

Day 307
They came for questioning again. I narrated them the whole ordeal.

Day 309
They started investigating. I still get nightmares.

Day 320
They closed the case, for there was no evidence.

Day 321
I narrated it to my family members, no one believed me.

Day 365
I hung myself.

-@enchantingnachokitten
more sunshine,
more smiles,
more laughs,
more happiness,
more kisses,
more cuddling,
more conversations,
more flowers.
less snow,
less squabbling,
less darkness,
less pain,
less sorrow,
less regret,
more love.
more humanity.
~khushi
People will tell you it'll be okay
even if they are the ones
who made you feel this way.
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Cledentine
Their simple "Hellos "
And "Goodbyes".
I just....
What can I say??.. Sometimes, I just leave myself speechless.
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Tina
with you
 Oct 2018 Imanuel Baca
Tina
with you
i just want to cuddle.
all day long and never leave,
with you,
i just want to kiss,
all day and forever,
with you,
i just want to lay on top,
and sleep with you,
with you,
i want my dreams to come to,
with you,
i am happy,
i never want that happiness to end,
don't leave me.
i can't sleep without you.
i just want to be in your arms.
i don't want to be with anyone else,
i want to marry you.
would you marry me.
i could kiss you forever.
i would sleep on top of you.
i would never leave your side.
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