Halfway across the world
Asleep right now
There is a girl
I like her

Not like like her
Not in a romantic way

She's just sweet
She knows me
She cares about me
She's there for me

Halfway across the world
Asleep right now

She's there for me
She doesn't know my first language
She only knows me thru texts
She has her own problems

But I don't know
How I could help

Halfway across the world
Asleep right now
Doesn't have to face her thoughts
She's okay now

If she's okay
Than so am I

And I couldn't be more grateful
To have a friend
Halfway across the world
Asleep right now

Thank you Charu <333

A blank slate

So much to await
A chance to renew

A beginning for you

For others as well

New stories to tell

Fresh pages to write

All seeking the light

You might hope to find

Or be left behind

While others all seem

To have found the scheme

Their lives look bright

As if they’ve got it right

But inside they might too

Feel the same as you

You say you’re aware
That your mind is fair

Yet still you believe

You cannot achieve

Truth hides away

Some stars will not stay

There’s darkness before

And friends at the door

Their words make you grow
Their light helps you glow

Though shadows consume

They help you resume

Seasons change
You feel strange
You still don’t know the deal
Still don’t know how to feel

You’re locked behind bars
Scratching at old scars
Changing schools and sections
Facing others reflections

The words that I write

May seem small in your light

But I share them with you

‘Cause you might’ve felt them too <33

I wanna hurt
I wanna bleed,like they always do
Lay me down where the trees bend
low
Lay me down where the greenery stings
So I can feel
So I can remember
That to love me
Is to suffer me

That was before you
wanted
to do anything with us.

That was before I
trusted
you.

That was before I
trusted
anyone.

That was before I
trusted
myself.

That was when I
only trusted
the glow of my laptop in an empty room.

Don’t want to be
Anyone but me
Right now
I hate this
Never have I before
And I hope I never will again

Habits I hate
And hopes I can’t give up on
Never-ending cycles
Again and again

I only write when
my eyes blur the words I haven’t written
my hands can barely hold up a pen
the mirror shows someone who isn’t me,
when I’m hiding—locked in the bathroom
or fold myself into bed
only then do the words come.

I wish I could write
about moments I feel light—
seeing my cousins
for the first time in months,
waving at my friends
with too much excitement
but no shame in my smile.

When I walk alone
and it doesn’t feel like something’s missing,
when Lordofon or Froukje
fills my tears on full volume,
I pass a stroller,
a baby laughing at nothing
and I hope they will never
learn how heavy joy can be.

And obviously all the times—
joking with my sister
until we can’t breathe,
messaging my grandma
just to hear her thoughts,
sitting with mom and dad,
not needing to say a word.

When you see someone crying,
You should help.

You saw her cry,
You didn’t help.

But I was bowling my eyes out,
And she was barely sniffling.

You've got,
brown eyes like the devils liquor-
burn me slow, and i'll drink it quicker
I'll bare my throat, i'll meet your dare

So take it-
my guilt, my breath, my spine and silent prayers,
I'll burn for you, raw and loud
A sinner begging to be proud

I'd drink the devils liquor anytime with you