Oh my, don't cry
There'll come a better day
Your body looms so high
Yet has taken a shade of gray

Please don't give in
I hear your thundering scream
Don't let these demons win
Or watch the tears stream

Fear is not an option
Watching the fire in your eyes
A menacing rath which grew
Past the cage of these treacherous lies

Your power consumes now
It rips us all off our feet
Begging for mercy is not allowed
As howling terror roams the street

Deadly flames strike the building sides
The world setting ablaze
Only in destruction do you feel pride
Coating us in your smokey haze

Screeching fills the empty homes
Wrecking it all, brick by broken brick
This feasting power feels all but alone
The revolution of a craving lunatic

Then there begins the echo
As you start to lose your voice
The tears sprinkle as it all lets go
We know you'll be back-there's no other  choice

Now I stand amidst the destruction
I know the pain, I feel your ache
Without mourning, we'll never function
These stormy nights are no mistake

stage 5 kidney disease
left ventricular heart disease
diabetes
they say you're dying
mother
i say i'm dying too
fractured mirrors
smashed glass
my hair in your fist.
yet
i love you
even now
after all the poison and the enabling
you can't go
not yet

When I read
poems from the past,
I barely understand them.

I try, yes—
but they are minds
from another time.

It takes time
to connect with them.

Then I imagine myself:
will they, in the future,
read the poems I write to you
and understand
anything at all?

HOW
After all these years
After all these  years.
HOW
Do I still feel the same
HOW
After all these years
After all these  years.
NOTHING
Nothing has changed
I almost forgot I was always messed up like this
I wonder
HOW
Have I managed to drown
DROWN
The voices
The pain
HOW
HOW
After all these years
After all these  years.
HOW
Do I still feel the same...

daddy was a soldier  he got sent to war
me mamma cried when he walked out the door
daddy kept in touch every single day
before we went to bed ma and me would pray

we couldnt sleep at night couldnt sleep at all
stare at daddies picture hanging on the wall
i would cuddle mamma till our eyes began to close
side by side together of to sleep would doze

then we got the news saying daddy he had died
i held on to mamma together we both cried
just like my daddy. i had to soldier on
take good care of mamma now that daddies gone

Say it again, please
Let those words trail from your lips one more time
Tell me I’m beautiful
Tell me I’m smart
Tell me I’m worthy
I need you to
I need to hear them
Even if it’s just once more
Maybe that will be enough
Maybe then I’ll believe you

Why does having food in my stomach
Feel like I failed