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The Devil
Doesn’t tear you down
He builds you up
Until

You believe you can
Do it alone
Then he smiles
As you fall

And you always fall
 Jul 1 bleedingink
1DNA
Would you rather
Live the life you want
and hurt?
Or live the life you need
In hurt?
Contemplating
if I talk
it’s like I'm falling in the answer
everything I say is a quiet question to myself
sweaty hands
messy hair
baggy clothes
harmed lips
and
eyes looking down

yet I do poetry
but nothing helps my clarity
It does help,
but who on earth wants an answer
in rhymes and metaphors?

Tell me.
looking at others
didn’t know it bothered

cause when they start to talk
saying things like 'I wish he’d call'

it hurts
I know I can't say that
cause they are just living their life
happy they look
blooming inside

nothing can destroy that
at least that’s how they feel

I should mind my own business
but-
Should I warn them?
cause it's going to be worse
but for some reason they don’t see the curse

give it time
and everything crashes down
just like…
always
maybe
I like to cook,
To cut and to chop,
Follow a recipe?
I think the **** not.

I guess and I taste
As I go along,
Each meal is different,
Every seasoning strong.

A pan so hot
With its sizzling sound,
Don’t come in my kitchen-
My chaos all around.

The water is boiling,
Steam clouds the air,
There’s flour on my face,
Chili powder in my hair.

Everyone knew
It was my turn to cook dinner,
Music blasting loud-
Master chef sinner.

I sing off-key
While I stir the ***,
But it smells delicious,
And that’s what I’ve got.

When it’s all done,
I plate it so nicely,
A centering ritual
That sometimes feels wifely.
For now I sweep the flour alone and scrub each little spill, but someday someone will help me clean, and we’ll dance in the kitchen until the world grows still
I now close this door,
like a chapter marked
by dead ends
and trial and error.

Now, stepping ahead,
I open a door unknown.
My heart is so heavy i can hardly breathe, just weighted down by the loss of things i haven’t had time to grieve.
Keep moving forward whatever you do don’t stop . Tuck this in, don’t think about that, juggle don’t drop.
Ignore the pain,  just cover and cloak, tell yourself a lie. With the truth you wont be able to cope.
Too much too much and then theres more.  More days than not just breathing is a chore.
In a world of brokenness and regret there seems to be so little compassion or respect.
Carrying more than i ever let show trying hard to learn to let go.
Don’t want  to be a burden, but i need a soft place to fall. Not asking for pity but answer my call.
Hope is fading and i am drowning, but i love you i am here keeps resounding.
Out of your own pain you hold me in mine, through your own darkness a light you shine.
Though you struggle you wont  leave me to drown. With love and a smile you straighten my crown.
Without these women where would i be? I have no words for what you mean to me.
Pain in waves...
Lost inside...
Nowhere to turn to.
Nowhere to hide.
Desperate to make things better,
Unsure about how.
Where do i start?
What do i do now?
Children are a blessing,
But apparently i am doing it all wrong!
So much keeps coming....
And i am just not that strong!
Losing the fight to an ache that overtakes me.
I know the Lord provides.....
But right now i just cant see.
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