Trying too hard.
That's why your legs are covered in bruises.
Smiling too wide
That's why he doesn't want you.
Crying too often.
That's why you're so good at making people laugh.

I usually sit here into the early hours
Reading poetry
Some I love,
Some I don't enjoy
Don't enjoy simply because hate
Is not a word in my vocabulary
I don't want to read about self mutilation
About ****** alignment
But that's just me
Give me magic, a fairy story
Give me that old man walking down the street
Don't get me wrong
What ever you write has to be good
But I won't always like it

I want to be intertwined with you.
mixed into your thoughts,
your words,
your actions:
however subtle,
but always significant.

I want to be every part of you
I want to be choked up with your words
swallowed down with your fears
entangled with your musing,

I want to be the hand
that so effortlessly grazes through your curls the pencil
that composes every beautiful thought onto paper  
the lips
that sing never more perfect words and melodies

I wouldn't mind being
the tears that stream your face when you aren't sure of who you are
the curses you pitch out in frustration when life has you overworked
and the laugh that echoes throughout galaxies when you are truly happy

I would be any part of you,
the good parts and the bad
just to say that I was with you;
just to feel like I meant something
even if you weren't aware of it
like the breaths you take that have become such a familiar process
that you aren't aware of the air anymore,
the vitality of it
I want to be the air you breathe
and the eyelashes that protect your dark, secret bearing irises.
I want to be you and a part of you and with you, vital and unnoticed, for the rest of our lives.

I know the pain you feel is deep,
your want from life is simple peace.
And though I cannot guarantee,
please listen closely, as I speak.

Presently you stroll alone,
searching for a hand to hold.
You feel your sorrow in your bones,
in harshest sun, you still feel cold.

Pre - dawn, however, is darkest night
that must be followed by morning light.
I pray you won't give up the fight,
the universe will set things right.

I know at times, it seems unclear
that happiness is always near.
But wholly I believe my dear,
someday soon, you'll find some cheer.

I feel dry and
empty
like a dried up well
I can feel the black thoughts
taking over my mind
Whispering
sweet evil nothings
in my ear
dripping with honey laced poison
I feel the depression
sinking into my bones
taking root in my blood stream
and poisoning my mind
I feel the hatred
slowly infecting my soul
like cancer
it never goes away
I feel the cracks forming
slowly, subtly
spreading across my skin
like spider webs
just waiting until I break
I feel myself start to shatter
the darkness within
leaking out
infecting those around me
and at the same time
******* in the world's evil shadows
my body now a host for
the dark light I always adored
Madness
taking residency in my eyes
Hatred
poisoned my soul
Depression
made my flesh and blood
overtook my mind
lives in my bones
and now I see only red
all I know is the bitter taste of life
and the sweet honey of poison
I live with the dark light
it thrives inside me
and soothes the burning of my heart
I no longer know myself
I love the moon
the chaos she brings
and the innocent screams
of her victims
as the madness takes over