it’s like lightning surging through my brain
from head to toe it’s electrifying
with each step it’s like an earthquake
shattering my bones filled with poison
that I just can’t seem to get enough of
with strength greater than my kryptonite
it’s shaking all of my insides
nostalgia swarms my body and i’m trapped
under the clouds lost in an endless nightmare

a.d

Your arms were my castle
Your words were my battle
But in a twinkle of an eye
You said goodbye

Now it's a million degrees zero in my blood
It's like lm buried 50 feet underground
I'm drawing in my world of loneliness
And my thoughts of sadness

You left me isolated and deserted
Now lm feeling rejected
My life is now an unending highway
In whose days are a nightmare
My heart is bleeding in silent tears
Just like my heart my life is broken into thousand pieces

The silence of your laugh
The sudden vanishing of your face
The absence of your dance
And the muteness of your voice
is slowly killing me

I walk in the empty streets with shattered dreams
I lie awake to miss you with unfulfilled wishes
I eat daily with everlasting regrets
Although with a hallowed place in my heart
only you can fill
I say back off loneliness
And hello tenderness

He was always warm
Like his coffee colored skin
His smiled hugged you
Brought you into submission
Until your bones wrapped under his
I'd play with the outlines of his anatomy
The way his muscles protruded
And relaxed when my fingers traced his
His laugh echoed like violins
Symphonies playing wildly in my ears
And when I'd undress
He'd always stare
Singing how he won a master piece
That was only his
And no one else's to share
The summer heat burned us
Yet only the summer knew
The conversations that filled that room
He held a scar on his chest
I'd kiss it everyday to remind him how beautiful pain is.
The way his hair curled
And felt like silk when I'd run through it
The way I'd look down and kiss him
The world stopped
But so did the day he left
And like a VCR
I hit replay
A memory so vivid
Yet fading each and everyday

Eva comes home from work to where there are many flies
and slaps my brother side-headed because he left the back
door open,  she is bovine heavy and limps to close it.  We eat

Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and it is soothing like peanut butter
fudge or Pepsi-Cola.  Eva says do the dishes up boys,  goes
to bed and cries.  Me and brother go to sleep and I dream

of a burning house.

I don’t remember the last time I felt you smile over the phone so I ask that you smile for me just before you sleep. I sat down to write you a poem but no expressive words came to mind.
I tried to think of you, to picture you, just to see if the image i had of you would inspire me, but I found myself lost in it.
Like the sight of the sun setting across the ocean, my mind and heart quieted down to marvel at you. Am sure you’ve heard me speak of the tales of your beauty more than once, but if you would look in the mirror you would see that I speak the truth, for it would show you a glimpse of what I see.
I don’t remember the last time I felt you smile over the phone, so I ask that you smile for me just before you sleep…

I want to
lay next to you.

I want to
feel our hearts
beat as one.

I want to
feel your chest
rise and fall
as you breathe
me in.

I want to
feel safe
in your arms.

But I can't...
It's what I want,
not what you need.

(-DF-08/03/16-)