like water in the palm of your hand
i fell right through the cracks

its like losing everything at once -
but carelessly feeling nothing at all

abrasion is more satisfying than my
skin in the palms of someone else

all around me i see blurred out faces
they're blood thirsty than ever before

but not i - quite the opposite i stand
and dry heave over their yearn

beauty is designed for pleasure
which is okay - but admire from afar

even the most priceless masterpieces
are destroyed by touch

a.d

i hear you breathe with every beat
it rattles through my ribs
whispers through my hair
echoes through my veins
but you still won’t believe
just come home….

a.d

my heart, darker than the night sky turns black

from such sadness you have clouded me grey.

oh, how i dream someone will mix in white.

on a rainy day i start to think back

to when we’d spend time watching the trees sway;

fluorescent green and yellow shine - not black.

i noticed how your love began to lack

a smile so genuine; no longer gay.

your brand-new shirts are blood stained and off-white.

your sudden change-of-heart gave mine a crack;

paralyzed for weeks, i watch curtains fray

and lovers overwhelmed with joy - not black.

just like a train with rails off the track,

i haven’t moved in weeks, wishing you’d lay

with me one last time - to mix in some white.

love letters i write to you form a stack

in the bottom drawer of my desk, they stay

and my heart becomes a little less black;

since i figured out how to add some white.

my breathing hurts; without you i see stars.
brown eyes dilate and my warm heart boasts,
hardly focused and you’ve too many bars.
pushed away but you know that i care most

i roll over in the sheets you just spread
but you can’t even look me in the eye
so you decided love is buríed
and the idea of us must soon die

my heart is sick of putting up a fight,
ever since you held me i have foil’d.
the hardest thing is feeling very quite
of you, and with every sigh, i’m toil’d.

just know you’ll always be my beloved
and i’ll remember you wanted me removed

a.d

they say its the energy
with the way we walked
our shoulders briefly grazing
locked eye to eye
they would always say
its the way you looked at me
and how i’d get beat red in the
face when you’d laugh
its been way too long
i’ve known you for an eternity
and yet we’ve never let
our planets collide. i know
you know it would shake
jupiter and all its moons;
stars would explode,
galaxies would cry...

a.d

for the last time
i am going with
my own mind
you have left me
hunting shadows
and tracing my veins
you begged and pleaded but
is that what you needed?
I’m downing pills
but still
nothing is even close to
being the same
I guess that’ll do
I guess that’s how
I’ll have to get by

a.d

sad mistakes

heartbreaks

aching heart

restart

efforts made

betrayed

******* numb

nauseam

another day

replayed

replayed

a.d