I'm at a party. I've been avoiding these things since the start of college, but this time, a lot of my team and new friends were going. They all ordered me to come. It was one of those I-should-just-get-this-over-with moments with a bit of peer pressure and caring-what-others-think-of-you sprinkled on top.
They're drinking. Of course.
A friend offers.
I can't
C'mon.
No really, it'll make me sick.
Sure, it's written in my genes but if I was careful I probably could join in their "fun." A sip wouldn't hurt.
But I won't. Ever. 17 years old and I won't go near the stuff for the rest of my life.
I've watched it steal health from his heart, watched his hands shake and his words slur. The alcoholic's drunk is a state closer to death than many of us will ever see and return.
But even normal drunk is a dark place. I've watched it turn her bitter and angry, a petulant child and tired mother all at the same time.
There is a hollowness to the eyes, an empty well where awareness once rested. A slowness of the tongue, a shallow shouting, temper tempest rising. It is relationships in ruins, it is words at our weakest, vilest and worst. It is the smell lingering on the breath, it makes me want to pass out and cover my nose just to breathe.
Everyone's entitled to do what they want with themselves, I suppose. But if I could wish alcohol away from the world I would. **** your pain, your awareness some other way Have college parties you'll actually remember the next morning.
You're not really you anymore when you're drunk.
And I like you just the way you are.
I'm not actually in college yet, just a vision of what it might be like.