Purple walls,
Waiting anxiously to be,
Blue,
Waiting desperately to be,
Fixed,
Holes and scars,
From you,
From me,
Writing on the wall,
Only from my insanity,
The floor is covered,
Laundry undone,
Old art projects,
Failed dreams,
And notebooks.

The bed,
Is where,
Where I like to rest,
However I'd sit there,
When I felt a pounding in my chest.
Stare at the ceiling till your eyes bleed,
Stare at the ceiling,
Till your demons flee,
The same room where,
I said my first i love you,
Where,
I meant my first I hate you,
Where friendships fell between the wall and the box spring,
And I,
Was too tired,
To retrieve them.

you get twisted up in your lies,
webs weaving back and forth,
they spin around you,
restricting you,
causing you not to function,
i watch them cover you,
till the thing people see isn't even,
remotely you.
till the thing you become,
is something you, yourself
have grown to hate,
but you can't stop yourself,
you don't want to help yourself,

The snap of twigs under my feet,
Makes me remember to crackle of lighting,
That one night.
The wind is harsh,
Fall colored leaves,
Fall to the ground,
Slowly they whip back and forth,
Slowly I block up my past,
Slowly I attempt to become unchained,
Slowly.....
I pretend I am just tired from lack of sleep,
Not from lack of love,
Of comfort,
I pretend I am just sad,
Not chronic depression
That keeps coming back...
It's getting dark out now,
I'm walking down the trail on the property
We can barely afford.
I climb trees and stay at the top,
Attempting to see,
Me
Beyond my depression,
Beyond my obsession,
Of being ok..
I have to go back,
I say.
I have to climb down,
Out,
From the pit I have dug for myself,
I have lists of people who gladly handed me the shovel,
But it's my choice to climb out,
I breath in and slowly ascend out of my
Pain,
Down from my tree,
Head back to the house...

I'm ok.