We danced toward
each other's wounds

with gentle step
and touched inside

and now the bleeding
has resumed

and all this blood
is hard to hide.

Your eyes were laced
with fatigue induced red lines
that were not unlike
the red lines that laced the world maps I used to obsess over
before I realised
that the world that existed beneath
your fatigue laced eyes
was worth travelling too.

When I see that picture of you,  I cry
When I think of you,  I cry
When I see the necklace you bought me, I cry
When I think of your smile, your laugh, your look, I cry
When I see your clothes, I cry
When I think of promises you made, I cry
When I feel I am suddenly OK, I realise I am not, I cry
When I talk to your Mother, we cry
When I hear New York on the news, I cry
I cry cry cry and I am sick of it.   But still I cry.
You jumped, you died, your choice but now my pain and I cry
I am all cried out
I love you

Next time you make an empty promise
Shatter it against the concrete
And rip open my flesh with the sharpest point,
Pour salt in my wounds
And leave me to rust.
And then tell me again
How it pains you to see me suffer.
Darling, all this time you were killing two birds
With one stone,
But since when can I fly?

I've seen it there
I've seen it here
I've seen it vaguely and robust

I've turned away
I've witnessed it not
It I've rejected, and I've sought

A story mundane
and fantastic too
Is it the same for me and you?

I've asked these questions
and I've answered them
This I've done time and again

I've seen misery as it burned
In my ribcage
And then a flower bloomed

I've known why
But known not how
I've lived back then and in the now

I've believed lies
I've believed what's true
Which is it now? I wish I knew!

A world woven
Seam by seam
Half reality and half a dream

Screamed from high
And whispered from low
As we sway to and fro

Master of a fate
Not mine
In a world cruel and kind

I've played chess long enough
To know that one step may cut my head off
And that I'll rise again like a phoenix


And I'll die.