I am the queen of what ifs
Sitting on a throne of could've beens

My fears are my loyal subjects
Escorting my dreams to the gallows

My ambitions are now prisoners
To my court of procrastination

I, the queen
Reign over all of this regret

I've spent centuries
in this agony
My body changes
but time stays still

All this time I've passed
waiting to be found
like a bird inside a cage,
my feet chained to this ground

I can't keep my monsters at bay
but I can't run away

In the eye of each soul
all I see is fear
and my own still whispers
"I'm not from here"

By now I thought
I'd have more power
But at the end of each day
"it" still devours

Even though there's love in my heart
I still feel like falling apart

Each fight feels like
dark mirrors inside a maze
and all I see in this reflection
is my own empty gaze

My mind is light years
away from this place
Still the only thing that saves me
is your warm embrace

And when it feels like I have no choice
I recognize your voice

I'm so tired of this fight
But your love still keeps me warm
Together, we'll win this battle
Together, we'll breathe through the storm.

I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.

There was girl in she mirror,
Who looked just like me.
Yet somehow seemed wilder,
Her long locks free.

We'd talk for hours,
About my enigma of a world.
I'd tell her my stories,
My fears, my dreams.
She'd listen.
Silent.
Never sharing her own experiences,
Quiet.

Now I question whether she ever had any.

I met her again yesterday,
The girl in the mirror.
Told her I wanted to
Be
Not just anyone,
Her.
Rid of my responsibilities,
And in possession of hers:
None.

The next bit seemed only logical.
In I stepped;
and out she went.
Her smile feral, cunning.
Told me to keep her space,
Warm.
So I did.
For her heart did not beat,
Not like mine
And her skin was like cool glass —
No red tears pumping through her veins.
Not like mine.

A corpse, if I didn't know better.

So now,
From the mirror I watch
Her laughing, smiling
— pretending not to be an imposter,
While I stand in her small spot,
A caged bird.

So now,
Melancholy is my every breath,
Because somehow nobody acknowledges my absence,
Or the foreign presence amongst them.
No one notices.
Because no one cares.