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  Feb 2020 Alec
Damian Murphy
Much harder than your own pain to bear
Is the pain of one for whom you care,
Their pain for yourself you would welcome
If it would ease their suffering some.
  Feb 2020 Alec
Reyn Moico
"F"
"Father, Father
Don't leave me here
Father, Father
Promise me you won't"

"Oh son, my dearest Son
Father is here
But please do not weep,
Father had to leave for us to live"

"But Father, my Father
I can't bear
For I was a child,
Losing you is my fear"

"My Son, my Son
Don't be scared
Father will return
And I'll drown all your mare"

"Father, Father
I'll wait for your return
Father, Father
Promise me you will"

"My Son, my dearest Son
Just wait in here
And promise, I will"

"Father? Father?
It's been years
Mother is sick
Still waiting for your return"

"Father? Father?
I'm afraid
You promise you will be back
But still, waiting here in vain"

"Father? Father?
I'm afraid
Mother is gone
I'm still here, holding the promises you will"
  Feb 2020 Alec
Emily Miller
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
  Nov 2018 Alec
yúyīn
Everyone comes with scars,
But you can love them away.
I told you that I wasn't perfect,
You told me the same
'You don't get it, I-"
'Shh, I love you, imperfections and all',
You said
But a month later,
Everything changed
You looked at me with disgust-
Like I was **** on legs
'I'm breaking up with you',
You said
'Why', I asked
'You're not perfect, I don't love you'
Hysterical sobs, at the loss of-
What I thought was love
'But I love you!',
I screamed at the closed door,
For you walked out on me
Your previous words meant nothing
I'm not worth loving, why?
The cuts on my thighs?
My eyes full of hurt?
My mouth full of lies?
The pain you caused,
Hurt more than the fresh cuts-
I just made
These were dedicated to you
Etched into my skin,
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
'I love you' it said,
Used my blood to make-
a small heart on my tear-stained cheek
Then I slashed both wrists
They were dedicated to you
I love you
Hours later, remembering something-
You left
Found me lying there,
With the note cut into my hand,
'I love you' it said
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
Alec Nov 2018
It's great to be a part of a group.
It's great to have friends, to have support, to have fun.
It's great to be a part of a group.
Does it ever stop being great?
It's great to spend all your time with your group.
It's great to share all your secrets with your group.
When did it stop being great?
Did it stop when you pretended to like something because they all liked it?
Did it stop when you pretended to dislike something because they all disliked it?
Did it stop when you started doing things you swear you'd never do?
Did it stop when you stopped spending time with your family?
Did it stop when you started doing things the group thought were super awesome?
Or did it stop when you died because of those things?
It somehow came to my mind. It sounded better in my mind but I hope you like it anyway.
Alec Nov 2018
I went outside for a quick *** break. I sat on the stairs. I felt tired and terrible overall but I really loved my life. I laid down and enjoyed some fresh cold October air. Suddenly the thought of dying hit me again. It wasn't a bad thought but also not a good one. I don't know when it's going to be the right time. I don't want to die if I can still do all the great things in life but I also don't want to die if I can't do these things anymore. I want to enjoy every aspect of life. I don't want to die when I'm miserable but I also don't want to end my happiness. ****. The thoughts. ****. ****. ****. I had another smoke. I looked at the dark sky and listened to everything that was happening around me. It was peaceful. I felt great. But terrible. But great. I loved life. I didn't want it to last too long and I really didn't want to be here sometimes but I loved it. Life is great. It's a gift. It's a burden. You can do so many great things. So many bad things can happen to you. There's so much to live for yet there's so much more to die for. I decided to go inside again.

— The End —