Christmas day has come again
Same as last year
I'm picking up the same old pen
I still have no career
This year is harder than the last
For I have no girl this time
Thrown away like an outcast
It was enough to give my life a swirl
I will be no grinch
For I still love Christmas
I will have my fists to clinch
I won't be stuck on an isthmus
I met this amazing woman though
She is so amazing and wonderful
I hope I don't get stranded on a plateau
She is so colorful
Her words make me feel so alive
She could save my life
Staying up with her makes me sleep deprived
I want her as my wife
Then we could spend all our Christmases together

Why have "friends" when you have yourself
Why have "friends" when your anxiety
Why have "friends" when you have depression
Why have "friends" when you have suicidal thoughts
Why have "friends" everyone is going to leave anyway

A girl came into my life and made me happy.
After she left I got really sappy.
A second girl came but she never intended to stay.
She had already given her heart away.
A third girl had come my way and I ruined it.
I just didn't commit.
A final girl had found me and didn't leave.
I still think this is make believe.
I don't want to mess it up.
I want to keep it like a newborn pup.
I don't know where I would go without her guidance.
I would probably just sit in silence.

Love is amazing
It amazes my heart with joy
Everyone needs love

I miss you.
I miss you everyday.
I miss your beautiful smile.
I miss your beautiful eyes.
I miss your warm touch.
I miss kissing your lips.
I miss you more and more.
I can't get you out of my head.
I try everyday.
I miss you.

The pain you caused cut me deeply. It wasn't a sharp blade you used but a dull butter knife. It took time and patience for you to hurt me like that. You just kept pushing and pushing. Making sure it hurt every push, making it deeper. You didn't care about me, you cared about how you felt. Making yourself the victim every chance you could. I'm glad you left but now I have this hole in my chest.

One day we met and wanted to talk.
You said you wanted to meet by the dock
So away I went and I brought my fishing gear.
The day was clear.
You needed to talk about the day we met.
You told me you were in debt.
You told me you were in love with me after several years.
I said I love you too and then I had some fears.
We had our ups and downs.
We had moved to several towns.
And then after a few days.
Our love went up in a craze.
You started accusing me of stuff I never did.
I then went and hid.
I hated being harassed by you.
I went to join a construction crew.
You went looking for me.
You couldn’t just let me be.
I always knew when you were in town.
You kept making me look like a clown.
I had to keep moving from state to state.
I just couldn’t take the weight.
I had finally moved out of country without anyone knowing.
I went on a Boeing.

Today at school I got annoyed
Tomorrow will be the same
But Sunday i’ll be overjoyed
Sunday i’ll be playing a game

Monday will be the same as Friday
Just an endless cycle of torture
I hope the sky won’t be grey
I better keep my things in order


Just seventeen more days till school ends
I hope i'm not dead by then
I better be able to make a mends
I just have to clench my fists count to ten

My plan with you was not to hurt you.
My plan was to grow and become yours forever.
I just wanted you as my boo.
But my heart was severed.
So ***** love.
I want you back I really do.
You were my dove.
But now I am so blue.
So ***** love.
I hate you.

Any song can make you sad, happy, pumped up, and just really excited. But to really feel and know what the writer is feeling takes something special. To just stop doing anything and focus on the song and the words and the singer and how he/she is singing them.  Well lately i have been emotional for no reason whatsoever but its ok but that's life. Back to songs and not focused on me. If you can really connect with a song then that's great. If you can't then that's ok also. As long as you are listening to the music, not connecting to it is ok.

A beautiful thing we experience everyday.
It can take down a plane.
It capsizes a ship.
It can bring major pain.
Why oh Why is it like this,
Why oh, this is not my bliss, bliss.

It makes everything living.
The Romans and Greeks gave it a name.
It is important to us all.
But we do not give it the blame.
Why oh Why do we do this,
Why oh, this is not my bliss, bliss.

They blame it on the people.
They say we are causing all of it.
We may be causing some but not all.
We should not submit.
Why oh Why do we do this,
Why oh, this is not my bliss, bliss.

I saw you
You didn’t see me
I looked away and then back again
You vanished
I asked around to see if anyone saw you
They all said no

You were the one that I wanted
You said you would never leave
You said I was the only one
But you left anyway

You showed up at my house
You were drunk out of your mind
You asked for me back
I didn’t know how to answer
You stumbled in and fell on the couch
I called an uber and escorted you out to it

You were the one that I wanted
You said you would never leave
You said I was the only one
But you left anyway

You
Bring
Your
Wind
and
Snow.
You
Make
It
So
Cold.
This
Year
You
Have
Been
Missing
From
My
Life.
Only
A
Few
Days
Have
Been
Cold.
I
Thank
You.