My home has never constituted a building,
never been about where I lay my head at night
Since I can remember I have been alone
I have never found solace in my broken family
from broken zippers to burnt out cigarettes
I have never stopped searching for
the feeling of home

You walked in and I couldn’t help but stare
I had no clue who you were but as soon as I saw you,
I felt warm for the first time in months

I saw fire in your eyes
and I wanted to suffocate in the smoke

I lied when I told you it’s hard for me to catch feelings
I lied to you when I said I was unsure

You stared into the sunlight sitting in that Mcdonald’s booth this morning
as I watched you I knew it was over
Maybe it was the way the glowing silk blanket of sun laid over the windowsill
Or the way your eyes no longer laid into mine
but somehow I knew it was over

I see only the best in people and am blind to anything else

I try as hard as I can to push people away so I do not get hurt, I believe you call this defense mechanism my attitude

your words trapped between my heart and soul
i fall silent
i sleep on your shoulder as we drive home

embarrassment already digging its nails into my throat
tears spread across my cheeks
as you hold me
I was silently begging you to never leave me alone again

no one had to tell us we were better together we already knew

my guy pretty like a girl
electric soul, gentle touch
velvet skin, unfinished lunch
violets grow in the valleys of his ribcage
forget-me-nots blossom on her skin
every night,
the places on her skin where his fingers last fell
when the sun was alive
sunflowers hiding in her short blonde hair
daisies intertwined in moments shared
the boy wants to predict the weather
but in this garden of wild flowers and
wild thoughts
it never rains
the flowers keep on growing
occupying the holes in her chest where there once was pain
his words as sweet as honeysuckle,
the soil
her blood as red as roses,
the rain

he spoke of our wedding by the second date and after the third he announced our funeral

i think we are worth trying
i know i make you feel warm too
and i believe the feeling of home
feels a lot like you.

If I am kindling,
you must be the spark...
Much alive in the darkest dark,
lifting all shadows with
finesse and flair.

     If I am flame,
     you must be the air and wind...
     Unfettered and free...
     Cradling my infancy.
     Only to nurture and inspire,
     to groom flame to fire.

If I am faltering...
And almost extinguished,
you must be the hand...
Bearing the confidence and belief...
Awaiting the moment most opportune,
to align yourself in rhythm and tune.
So we could...
Continue to
burst forth into light.
So we could...
Resume our journey forth with might.

     Let us be our own deterrent
     from the darkness
     that comes with morrow's set.
     Hand in hand, we must...
     Because together...
          And only together,

   we're...

                        incandescent.

Please know, darling
that as you
                 slip
into your soul's abyss
my light will fill up
your darkness
like a spirit's starlit kiss
for the depth
of the black
and the distance
           mean nothing
when it comes to
           love
only our inner stars
determine what
is inside and above
So as in this chant,
                 this prayer
                     this hymn
                            of my essence
I cast forth the forces
that will make
known
    my presence
for my inner soul's nectar
is sweet water
in a state of
ever-flowing
     sometimes even tripping
      into the lip
         of your vessel
    without you
even knowing    
I am here in all ways
    except a single one
     that to look in your eyes
   is a dream rough-spun  
for aye, that physical
     has its limits,
           nonetheless
but still, from here
right into your being
          I press
my heart beating
           strong
my mind's whispers
            wild
as my fingers
stroke the hair
of your inner child
so come rest your head,
       right here,
     on my chest
Feel the tiny
quakes
that take place
as we let ourselves rest
from the world outside
from the demons within
melting the lines
of despair,
now rice-paper thin
        And our intense need
to love
and be loved
   is the true healing balm
      and now our
spirits rise up
in the night's
      lip-brushed
psalm

You are the ending
to my wandering
Poem