when I was young
I had big eyes
full of truth
full of youth
full of dreams

brown like the soil a flower grows

eyes that saw the
infinite sky
stars swam inside
carried sunshine

Where's the love
Where's the color
Where's the vision

I've always listened

I can't see
what you're trying to show me

when I was young
I saw the world

now my eyes are small
I don't believe anymore

Dear, Nobody.

That’s a lie. Just because I can’t narrow this down to one person doesn’t mean it’s to nobody. “Nobody” isn’t an emptiness, it’s a pseudonym.


                                                    ­      I

I've been acting cold hearted to make myself seem stronger, but I’m cracking under the pressure of goodbyes and silence. I get scared that you will hate me for being so awkwardly introverted, because you only thrive if you’re having fun. I don’t think I’m enough, but I know that I can be, I don’t think that I’m there yet, but darling, just trust me. I’m working so hard to overcome these fears, I’m treading these waters and I'm trying not to go under. I keep on telling myself that I can be enough for you and the only hard part to it is simply believing. I’m sorry if I ever hold you back. I want to be a companion, not a burden, I want to fight the dark together, and I know you're kind enough to help me. I don't think you know just how much that keeps me going. I will catch up. I will be fine. I will come through, and I will not drown. I just need you to hold on to me for a little bit longer, because there is no way in hell I can do this alone. "At this moment, you mean everything." You mean too much to me to drown alone.

                                                         ­  II
                                                          
You are growing distant as you are getting older and it hurts me like hell. I can't help but feel proud that you've made it this far. I miss you a **** ton, but I'm glad you are growing up. I will always be there for you, even when you're ****** at me. When you get in trouble for being a *******, or when your heart is broken into a million pieces, you can always come back to me, no matter how distant you are. You don't desert family, and I sure as hell won't desert you. After all, you are my blood, and if your lost or all alone "I'll go with you". You never have to worry about facing **** alone.

                                                         ­ III

I've accepted the fact that you will never sing for me. I don't know if it's out of fear, or if you just want to **** me off, but I guess I understand. It seems like a small thing to be upset about, but it bugs me because I love you so ******* much. You can always tell when something is wrong, despite if I tell you "I'm fine." You're distant but I know you will come back. I'm sorry for being a **** during the first half of this year. You deserve better, and I can give it to you. I'm sorry for hurting us, but I know we will be fine. I will always be "stitching up the seams" of every pain I've ever caused you. I hope you will let me.

                                                    -  -  - ­ -  -  -  

So, Nobody, I promise we will be okay. I promise I will be okay. At this moment, you mean everything, and I will always go with you, to stitch up the seams of the pains that I have caused. Distance will never break us, and you will never be alone. I won't drown if you are there. I won't leave if you are hurt, and I won't cause you any pain.
I love you.

Sincerely,
                    Your no longer desperate friend

The light dims
And the shadows lurk
The sound of a braking limb
Echoes in the distance, in the endless hole of emptiness
The owner of the heart cries
But no one is to hear his sorrows
He is lost
He is forgotten
Yet he has not put himself in this aching pain
But she did
She used him until he was nothing
She threw him in this hole
Into this state of heart and mind
Into this feeling lost inside
Left to think
Why?
Left in the thought of
What did I do wrong?
Left with no one but himself.

He got use to this way of living for a while
Until she stepped in
She tried to bring a light
Tried to fix the broken
But instead
Foolish girl, he took you down with him
And the light leaves
His hole is filled with a replacement of hers
And now she walks around broken
Echoes bouncing on the walls of this hole
And now she's crying as he did and screams to the world
And he leaves her as another did to him.
And the never ending cycle continues.

I miss our chats, the endless days
It felt like time stopped still;
Our hands together, lying down
Electric pulsing thrill

Eating ice-cream, stolen moments
And laughing all the while;
Feeling happy, loved, contented
That perfect beaming smile

I miss our silly time together
Being someone new;
Learning and discovering
All the while with you

Throwing paint and stealing kisses
Crackling touch, like sparks;
Trembling lips and shaking knees
The beating of my heart