this was
your chance
to show me
who you were
i learned i knew all along
i just didn't want to believe it.
this was
your chance
to prove me
wrong.

Love is a burning cigarette
That makes ashes
Out of the pieces
Of me and
The pieces of you.


--Eleanor Rigby

you know the type of glass you try to pick up with your fingers?
but the smell of your blood still lingers?
the sink that's mixed with blood stained tears, that you had washed out through the years
the reason your mom sits in bed at night still crying
while your dad just feels like dying
had they wondered why
that you would always cry
then maybe , just maybe, they could have saved you
from the sorrowful look in your eye.

Today I realized you can’t stop someone who likes the feeling of the burning taste in their throats
You can't decide for them whether they fix themselves or they destroy themselves.
It will always be a battle to the end,
the worst part is that you know one of these days the world is going to stop for me,
my heart is going to break
and You will have left me cold,
maybe yet I may even take your path
and I may like the burning sensation to wash those pills down
or to forget about the world for a few moments just to crash back into reality.
But one day, Ill lose you,
Mom
. One day you won't be mine to hug or to hold anymore.
As long as you enjoyed your last drink more than you enjoyed your time here with me,
then I hope you had the best few last moments in the blur then you ever did seeing me
smile.
Mom, I love you,
I always will, but
you don't live forever.

What is your dream little one?
Said the mother to her son.

I dream that I dream that I dream
Of a light that will not beam.

What are your fears my dear?
Letting out a little tear.

I fear that the weather as warm
Will not melt the ice storm
I see in your eyes.


-Watercolour