I should have seen this all coming....
the 3am crying and silent screaming, I knew it was coming, I knew from that moment you left me standing out in the rain on that horrible august day
I stupidly forgot what it felt like to be lonely, to be so alive at midnight or 2 in the morning, having no one to care about
funny how you used to be my best friend, not a single secret on my part, I was committed with my whole heart but you started getting strange.
our love died slow and strange cause it was only last week you were saying I held your heart, what happened to that flame?
it was washing away and there was nothing I could do but sit there and beg, it all ended the same even with me screaming for you to hear, now I question why did I even cared?
our love suffocated in this air and now I'm stranded with the echoes of your lies at the horrible hour of midnight.

the clock,
it ticks.

tick
   tock
       tick
            tock

it keeps me awake
in the silence of the night.

that odd hour when
it isn't quite midnight
but also not quite dawn.

it's deafening almost.

it makes me hear things..

is there someone in the house?

creak


tick
   tock
       tick
            tock

no.

maybe i should check.

the clock,
it ticks.

and it keeps me up.

i barely sleep.

broken sleep,
discontinued dreams,
tossing and turning
at four in the morning.

i barely sleep anymore.

its too hot under these covers,
im too cold now,
i need to be held,
im gonna die in my sleep.

i cant turn my brain off.

i get broken sleep,
i get those discontinued
unfinished --
extremely real feeling dreams,
i toss and turn all night long
still uncomfortable after each turn.

i cant stop
and take a break.

at home
head in my cell phone
staring at words
on a white background,
scrolling endlessly.

scroll.
          scroll.
                     scroll.

"just one more --
then ill sleep."
what lies!

i keep staring at
these words
that keep appearing..
love
       people
                  quiet
loud
        soul
                ­ left
time
        silence
                     felt
hurt
        ­ regret
                     sapphire
seldom

poem after poem.
i can't stop reading.
i can't stop writing either.

"just one more!
for real this time!
ill go to bed i swear"

12:11am
          12:13am
                    12:34am
   ­                           12:59am
                              ­          01:10am
                                               ­   02:33am

"ill go to sleep now.
i swear. just one more."

and it's dawn
all of a sudden --
the sun starts to rise.

and it's morning.
a new day,
but im still awake.
staring at the words on my cell phone.
reading one
after the other,
then the next.

I sit here on the floor
waiting by the door

for night to sleep
then I will speak

about
midnight rain
waiting for its train
about monsters so small
for humans to tame

In the darkness of midnight, the moon turns away its face
I settle down behind my desk and write down my fate

I’ll form my sorrow in the shapes of lyrics and lines
Ones that won’t make sense in the bright morning light

The pen that bleeds ink made from my hatred and guilt
Words like stones that bring down the walls I have built

I’m the midnight poet, my safety the silence before dawn
So, at first light, all these thoughts will be gone.

The moon calls to me tonight—
I cannot resist her charms.
I slip beyond the confines of my room
To let the evening soak into my soul.

A full moon spills her silver light,
Darkness braided with her glow.
Rocky earth crunches beneath my feet,
Each step alive with sound and scent.

The high desert hums its song:
Stars glimmer, coyotes cry.
A noisy stillness fills the air,
As daylight’s brightness fills the sky.

My heaven is green grass,
And scent of sagebrush and hay.
I belong in this moonlit nirvana,
Where constellations burn like fire.

i wish to be as
beautiful as the
moon

it's light a beacon
a pale silhouette
magical

i wish to be as
beautiful as the
moon

for the moon cares not
for admirers or
fame

it glimmers eternally
in the dark
midnight

The brand of our skies lingers — soft kisses
drifting through the air, and I seem to lose every word
except for one whisper: “I love you.” As our love roars
like an anthem beneath a midnight sun, where my tears
have soaked the tired pillow of a heart that rests only
on the thought of you.

Each rhythm of speech stumbles into another pause
before a kiss, and like the taste of a wish granted, I find
my voice again, always to speak of you in reverent tones,
for you stand atop the mountain that houses my heart.

Your eyes; perhaps they’ve forgotten the worth of time.
There’s a watch not on your wrist, but bound to your leg,
always stepping over it.

And while the sun maps out your days, the moon is a pin
dropped at the final stop. Tomorrow isn’t promised —
no more than a compliment from a stranger. And just like
that stranger, it stays nameless until you dare ask its name
by dusk. Where the Sun Whispers, and the Moon Waits.