Today I woke up and I already knew
It was going to be
An Everything day.

It's what I call the days that you wake up and feel like your head is already full of bees,
And your stomach doesn't quite feel easy but rather queesy.
When I roll over to try to assimilate while I take in deep breaths, and as I stare at my ceiling I feel like my chest is exploding with every feeling under the sun.
I close my eyes as I try to decompress the vast,
Swirling Galaxy trying to remain contained within.
And the sounds of the fan in the background feels like the winds of a high mountain top and the light that randomly billows in feels like it's absorbing into my skin.

I breathe in
And feel it all fill my lungs with more than air but
Life!

And on the breath out, it all zooms back to me.

I go from the top of the cold Mountain view and it's icy winds that I was just breathing in, pulled back to the fan and the light in my window and as I exhale more air; the further I come back to my mind, my eyes open and there's that ceiling again.

The emotions and the thoughts still slowly swirling in and around me like the creamy designs that twirl clockwise in coffee after stirring.

I try to breathe,
But it just expands me more,
I breathe out,
I shrink into nobody
Until I become
No Thing.

How can I constantly feel
Everything and Nothing
All at once... For eternity...

i want to cry so badly that
i want to cry
that i want to cry

you overwhelm me.

i want to cry so badly
but my ducts are dry
the tears well inside

i'll drown intern a l l y

an overwhelming feeling;
your hand in mine
and mine in yours
where it belongs.

We were laying in bed
and I was drowning in your gaze.
You wrapped your arms around
me and slowly whispered in my ear
that I was a national treasure to you.
You told me my essence,
my power, and my presence
overwhelmed you and that
I was your Niagara Falls.

I ask if I'm too much for you to handle
I'm a forest fire that you see as a candle

Don't you ever feel stuck?
Stuck in a state of mind, frozen in time
It's tiring, staying in one place for such a long time
Yet, you don't bother to move

It's confusing, honestly
Trying to think about it makes you dizzy
Yet, it's the only place you feel comfortable
Blissfully ignoring the problem
So you stay solemn

The feeling of uneasiness overwhelms you
But it's the only thing that makes you feel okay
Not okay,
But numb

Instead of making up your mind, you choose to stand aside
Too scared to make up your mind
You would rather stay blind to your own emotions
To avoid life's commotion

So you stay frozen
You watch as people pass you by
Because you would rather be numb
You would rather be stuck
Then trust your luck

Just this short moment
A little moment to yourself

Look at the sky for a moment
A pause in the humdrum of life

And just take a little moment
Like the quarter rest on hold

Cool down the thrumming heart
Relax those tense shoulders

Add a little honey
To the sourness of the situation

As life gives you lemons,
Make lemonade

the red is far too deafening -
shut palms around my ears
and yet the world is on screaming fire.
my finger joints crack in my eardrums
while the sunflowers roll in the mud.
firecracker red; fire engine red
took a nap in a sack,
the sun never goes away.

if i may i would turn to pray
to a man up in city hall
where the crowds prey,

i'm asking for a bellyache from hunger,
a shadow to leave my body -
not quite the youthful sunshine
with flaming ash in the air.

please be quiet - you're neither
the hysterical patient, nor
one who needs the normalising
medicine - you would not wish.
it is growing on me, much like
a generous parasite.