I owe it all——
to the words unspoken
to the flow unseen
to the poet-insanity uncomposed
to the tunes unhummed.
On the way.

Azure thee afloat
Drizzles, alluded not
Absurd me adrift
Dreams, awaked not
Ahold see alight
Drowners, ached not.
In the way.

Recorded my goodbye
a whole month ago.
I dropped that heavy word
but now, I just don't know.

Because if I had ****d you,
Wouldn't I have fought?
Wouldn't I have bitten back,
Against the end you wrought?

And if I had ****d you,
Wouldn't I have tried?
To swallow your friendship,
Even knowing that you lied?

These questions seize me,
And rattle my spine.
Brand me ashamed,
As though I crossed a line.

And then it floods back:
My certainty, my rage;
That howl of grief...

If this was not ****, nothing is.

homesick
heart ache
heart is in decay

a sickness known to all
so who do i think i am
to wallow in my own pain
as if i am the first
to feel

well
i pray that i
am the
last

Oh my, don't cry
There'll come a better day
Your body looms so high
Yet has taken a shade of gray

Please don't give in
I hear your thundering scream
Don't let these demons win
Or watch the tears stream

Fear is not an option
Watching the fire in your eyes
A menacing rath which grew
Past the cage of these treacherous lies

Your power consumes now
It rips us all off our feet
Begging for mercy is not allowed
As howling terror roams the street

Deadly flames strike the building sides
The world setting ablaze
Only in destruction do you feel pride
Coating us in your smokey haze

Screeching fills the empty homes
Wrecking it all, brick by broken brick
This feasting power feels all but alone
The revolution of a craving lunatic

Then there begins the echo
As you start to lose your voice
The tears sprinkle as it all lets go
We know you'll be back-there's no other  choice

Now I stand amidst the destruction
I know the pain, I feel your ache
Without mourning, we'll never function
These stormy nights are no mistake

I don’t want you to hug my heart
                                          If it means you have to break my ribs apart
                                    I don’t want you to see my mind
       If it means just like me you’ll stay blind

Show me where the blade
dug so deep it left a scar.
I felt your pain long before
I ever heard your voice.
I was dancing to the symphony
of your broken heart—
its wreckage left me breathless.

Did you feel it too?
That you were too much,
and never enough?
The urge to tear off your own wings,
sink into the abyss,
consume your flesh,
devour desire,
and walk into fire?

You sing like someone
with gasoline in their veins,
blood set alight,
pleas turned to smoke
as desperation claws your skin.

Are you like me?
Waiting for a hand in the dark,
longing to be understood?
Your pain bleeds through every note,
yet when you open your mouth
no sound comes out right.
Have you ever wondered
if heaven hears your prayers?

Who made you cry like that?
Who broke you open like that?
Are you yearning for a savior,
or waiting to earn salvation?

I felt your soul
long before your voice reached me—
crawling, begging.
Do you want to share your pain with me,
or sit with mine?
Let me touch it,
cradle it close to my chest.

I won’t mend your heart,
I won’t stitch your wounds—
but I will hear you.
I always have,
even before I understood.
The weight of your words
presses down on my chest
like a loaded gun,
cold against my skin.

Show me where the blade
dug so deep it left a scar.
Will our paths ever cross?
Let me hold your sorrow.
Rest here until it no longer hurts.
Sing to me until fate collides with mercy—
let me embrace your pain away.


- N.V. 🥀

our canvases were born
from chaos at midnight.
colour spilling with the smoke
of cigarettes waiting
patiently in the tray.
we wove them in
with the brushstrokes
then let it breathe
so the magic would dry.

'darkness is coming',
dark blue across white
a bird slurping
rainwater from petals.
or something like that.
art is supposed to
make you feel something.
ours wasn't there to be nice.

one day,
it wasn't there at all.

i came home,
and found them gone —
shredded and torn.
the reminder,
that hands crafted them
that wouldn't caress you,
was unbearable.

i'm sorry.
that i shouted at you.
that i couldn't respect
you needed space,
a clear head
away from the clutter
that came with me.

i would have done the same.
we don’t get to choose
who we let in,
and who we love.
the only choice we have
is whether to erase it
slowly,
or all at once.