Hello old friend,
It's been a while,
My dearest freind
I've missed you so.

I've missed the joy,
The emptiness and dark.

I've missed the agony,
The feeling of not knowing who I am.

i don't see the stars in your eyes anymore, they look dull, sad—empty even.

i don't see the fire in your eyes anymore, they burned out and there was nothing left but darkness.

i don't see the life in your eyes anymore, they seem lifeless and full of agony.

i have always loved your eyes, for they unvail who you are and what you feel. i have always loved seeing the ocean in your eyes that drowns me and hypnotizes me; you have changed.
—g.l

lost am i
on a season of
reconciliation.
tried and true
the billowy blue
which calls itself
a home.
i see everything
as it comes and goes,
as my coffin lies in wait
for a sordid corpse to pick
its way through the dying
leaves.
but before my death i must
surrender, this depressive mode
for freedom never came to the weary
only the willing.
and the audience applauds
well done, you sickly being
forever living as an open wound
but little do they know
i've my own audience now.
and i know i stand in hell
with my own mind.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

I attend college in an apocalypse
I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist
Paying these grandiose establishments
So they can give me a piece of paper
A modern day participation award

You're not lost, just because you didn't  trust today
I see you here, yet your thoughts are drifting away ...
You rake the leaves, with your bare hands,
You try to see, where your future stands.

You're not lost,  just because you need a break,
I see you smile, while trying to hide your heartache
You collect the dirt, under your fingernails,
As you walk barefoot and cover your trails.

I still see you, underneath the falling leaves,
I hear your voice say "thank you"  and "please"
I see your true smile, glowing in your eyes,
You're the only reason, my soul survives.

My frustrations are lost to me,
I don’t speak them for fear that they will be heard,
By someone, anyone, enemy or friend.

That they would take my ranting as discontent,
There’s no reconciliation for that.

I seem to be screaming into silence,
Or was the silence my voice.

My hell, my reality.
My happiness, my void.

-Marie