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essie Apr 11
i like finding stray brown hairs in
my bathroom sink or on
my couch or under
my blankets

little reminders of
you brushing your teeth or
you sitting beside me or
you kissing my face
essie Mar 8
you fell asleep on my chest
and it scares me how much
i want you to stay
essie Mar 4
She swims in tumultuous
water that churns with the tides
of melancholic rage

I scoop her in cupped
hands and drag her weary body
past the rocky shore to the soil

in the rich dirt I dig
a hole big enough for her corpse-seed
and plant her.

I am an anxious gardener
I ration my Sad Water carefully
and search the ground for decay

her roots grow down without
my eyes preying upon them
in damp dark clay.

growth is a slow moving practice.
I hope she becomes a tree.
another therapy poem bc I can not retain things if I don't write about them
essie Feb 26
inside me there is
a red piece
and a blue piece

the red protects me like
a wildfire
but it burns and destroys the beauty around me

the blue grounds me like
a puddle of water
but it’s heavy when it pulls me under

i am water
i am fire
and i am constantly drowning and scorching

from inside out
my blues and reds
are labeled by others as crazy
kinda ****** and basic but i had an intense therapy sesh today and i feel kinda upset about it
essie Feb 21
you've been so strong for so long.
I can see the ivy growing
on the walls you've built around yourself-
roots deep in self-preservation
and stubborn leaves stretching
to the alabaster sky.
essie Feb 16
have you written my name
in the margins of your notes

(not that I have or anything.)

it's just that I keep thinking
of your smile and
the way you wrapped your pinky around mine
when we promised to see each other again.
essie Feb 10
I can fill my own shallow grave
You always said I was too vain

But you are too bland
With the vanilla ideals you seem to depend on

So I can't sit here, and watch you do it
Although it would provide some entertainment

Once, I was agile
And I spun webs of golden lies

I was a spider in my nikes
With eight shining glass eyes

Now, I lure you down to the reservoir
Where I'm face-down in mud

I did love you, truly
I just must have loved myself more

Write a song about me.
Illustrate me in your novel.
Remember me.
I'm back after a 2 month long hiatus :) not in love w this but I'm getting back into it
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