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labyrinths Oct 2016
EVERYTHING                   I                                          SAY
REPEATS                          WHERE                             ARE
                     THE                                    WORDS
TO                                       TELL                                YOU
                  I'M                                       SORRY
labyrinths Jul 2016
so I had this thought.
[You know me.]
isn't it weird when the lines start to blur?
[I was like you, too.]
do days turn into nights,
[Afraid of everything,]
or does dusk turn into dawn?
[Loud mind,]
are you really real?
[Quiet voice,]
or have I dreamt you up again?
[Baggy eyes,]

so i've been thinking.
[You never sleep.]
don't you think it's strange we're all dying?
[But you dream.]
is our time limited,
[Nightmares where;]
or is our limitation time?
[You scream,]
am I going to die soon?
[I scream,]
no, really, is my time almost up?
[We all scream,]

so I don't want to think.
[But there's only silence.]
but what if you could change it all?
[Your nightmares,]
what if you could go back in time,
[Your biggest fears,]
and fix all of your mistakes?
[Your reality.]
would you really do it?
[You can't stop me.]
or would you leave everything as is?
[You've become me.]
I'm really tired
labyrinths Jul 2016
"you know, the past
should be kept in the past."

there's a thunderstorm in the window behind me and I've been checking in on some people I used to know; would you call them friends or lovers, I don't know. my fingers can't type as fast as my mind works; or doesn't; do you know what it's like to get shot in the head? there aren't any tears; you're not a debby downer, you're the life of the party; you're smiling and cracking jokes but inside you wish you were dead; you shoot deer but you think about turning that gun around and shooting yourself; gunshots can't be as loud as your mind; to disrupt the neighbourhood would be the least of your selfish concerns; would anyone remember you if you died?; has anyone noticed you left or have they all just moved on without you?; old habits die hard and you just want to feel something, I just want to feel something; who are we?; no one but strangers who once kissed so hard their lips bled; oh how raw and passionate; i can't seem to be able to distinguish the difference between pain, pleasure and passion; but in my dreams I feel more alive than when I'm awake; when can I crawl into bed next?; I don't want to sleep, you are too far but you are too close; perhaps this was all an impulsive mistake, don't you worry about the inbetweens and the afters; worry about now and yesterday; I am forever haunted by my past; your karma follows you and so do I; don't you dare point that gun in my direction again; I'd rather be set on fire; douse me in gasoline in our bed; turn everything you loved into ashes; I will survive because you never really loved me; everyone is moving on and like the sun I am staying still; revolve around me but don't get too close; you can't even look at me without going blind; the sun is not as beautiful as we romanticize her to be; thunder so loud it shakes your room; you shake me to the core; the lightning will strike again; do you know what it feels like to be shot in the head?
labyrinths Jul 2016
AT NIGHT WHEN I'M ASLEEP IN MY DREAMS I TRY TO SCREAM BUT NOTHING EVER COMES OUT. WHO AM I? WHO ARE YOU? I WANT TO KISS MY BEST FRIEND AND I WANT TO KISS A STRANGER AND I WANT TO KISS A MAN AS OLD AS MY FATHER. ALL TONGUE AND TEETH AND RAW AND *****; JUST KISS ME, I'M IRISH IS A SYNONYM FOR DRUNK.
labyrinths Jul 2016
she screams "SILENCE DOES NOT EXIST" at the top of her lungs but there's no one around to hear her

her brain pounds against her skull and she can hear the sound of drilling through bone she can smell the sweet stench of human bone meal she can taste the oozing sawdust textured drips of her own blood and she can see the back of her eyelids, tinged with red from the florescent lights  of the hospital room as her fingers twist in the thin coarse blankets she tugs at so desperately writhing in the cot they've graciously provided her with if only to remove her stillbeating organs with the promise of a cure

she screams "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME" at the top of her lungs but there's no one around to hear her
alone alone alone so tired of being alone, i wish this migraine would go away and has anyone found the cure for tinnitus yet?
  Jul 2016 labyrinths
Joshua Haines
Sunset orange spilling onto
the grass-splattered grotto;
where silicon body lay, wading,
and the ******* float up,
hovering bone-white ****,
emerald eyes towards the
galactic-gutter ceiling.

I.

Their knuckles drag the dust,
kissing broken boulder.
She wraps ***** arms around,
as she rests on his shoulder.

Birds swing and spin like
fleshy, fluid tops.
If you study them
with your tired eyes,
their dancing never stops.

II.

The cactus juice helps them
see each-other, and they
sing of spontaneous Gods
that torment the desert floor
they swim upon, waiting for
her, whom wades amongst stone.

Movies and shows, albums and
singles splinter their psyches;
what could you remind
that sneaks from behind,
and nibbles their Nikes.

III.

I remember the ways
she lied, his face cracked,
but I forgive her. I forgive
the other men she loved
instead of me, I forgive
her for accepting me,
I forgive myself for
believing that the
greater I hurt,
the deeper I loved.

Little girl scratched at the sand,
looking at him, her hair as dry
as the plants scampering by.
I have always loved you,
she croaked, I have always
been more than a child
in the dreams I share
with you. I feel as coarse
as this wasteland, existing
only to us, her, and a thread
hanging suspended from time.

IV.

Their bodies plopped onto
the moist, coffee soil.
They drank the ground,
their blood pushing faster,
racing the rushing tide.
And in the distance, a shine
before the eternity, a hope
beyond the shore.

A skeletal fist wrapped his wrist,
at the end, she asked him to forget.
But he dove and swam towards
the rock cave tomb, breaking
through the electric waves.

Little girl fell, knees swallowed
by the baptismal sand,
she wept and asked him
to come back, please
come back.


V.

His face brushed the stone wall,
he kissed and called until
wine-red smeared his face,
until he tasted copper
swarm his mouth.

A brief moment, he felt himself,
he felt the world photographed.
Rays spit out between the cracks,
rocks explode, vomitting over.

Shard of slate speared his stomach,
and he remembered October:
Santa Fe, where they fought,
she shoved, he begged,
battered lips brushing past,
leaving photo albums and a
note, in blue ballpoint,
stating that it would
never last.

VI.

Dying moments consisted
of anxious pulls at the shard,
cutting his hands open,
adrift towards her lifeless
pearl, pure exposed rib body,
begging, kissing, shoving,
proclamations of forgiveness.

Bleeding out, he shook her,
asking to be loved as the wall
closed, capturing their bodies,
preserving the desperation
of his broken nature.
He and she, bled,
bled, bled.
labyrinths Apr 2016
TRUMP
i never said a word about you because
would it be rude to call you an embarrassment?
you're everything i'm not and you're
everything i fear in a person but

tonight i thought about you and for the first time
since i blocked your number that night i was
supposed to come over i kind of maybe sort of
missed your touch but i didn't miss you

i loved you when you were inside of me but
could barely stand to be in the same room with you otherwise
you made my heart pound like a bad anxiety attack after
seeing your 47 in math and thinking woah i might not graduate
and realizing even worse: with a grade that low i'll never make it
to outer space (which means we'll be stuck on the same planet
forever no matter how hard i try to rid myself of you you will
always linger between the cracks in the sidewalks and broken
picket fences you are suburbia's biggest fear)

POOH
you taught me that lust never leads to love
and you stole my favourite book. i wonder
if you ever read it but you stopped talking to me
out of the blue, apparently i had done something wrong?

i mean,
that's a first

i dream about you more often than i'd like to admit
sometimes you drop in just to say hi but most of the time
you call me a ***** and tell me you wish i were dead but
no matter what you heard about me i swear to God i'm pure

or maybe God was right when he burned my skin alive and
watched me become ashes in the middle of nowhere with no  one
around to hear me scream for help, have i sinned too much to be
let in to Heaven?

******
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful

SIRIUS
history repeats and i've been stuck in this loop
since i can remember i fall in love with the same
person over and over again i fall in love with you
and you fall in love with him and i stop believing
in love all together but i fall in love with someone
else because they remind me of you and i hope you
think of me from time to time and miss me as much
as i miss you as i try to fall out of love but it never
works the way it worked so easily for you, first love
doesn't mean forever love because the first is never
the last and everyone said so but i was hoping that
maybe one day we'd get married in the garden down
the hill by your house that overlooked Lake Ontario
or the ocean as you liked to call it because you could
never distinguish the difference between blues
k
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