decisive words
   take their time

they reveal their significance
   like buds unfolding
   nourished by the soil of doubt
   the rain of memory and meditation
gradually to the troubled soul

until the flower
   of loss

   suddenly
   in full bloom

makes you tremble
at its pristine
    relentless
    beauty

      * *

love's pain
   is not
a topic I embrace
or would write fervently
about

yet to ignore it
   hurts
as I have learned
more than to speak

and also
  it might mean
that I love
not

     * *

there once was a president of states
who could not endure in debates
he insulted opponents
with verbal components
that were worse than what‘s outside the gates

different from TV
the shapes of waves and fire
never repeat themselves

how do I know
if words that clog my throat
and finally spew out
are worthy to be read?

how do I know
whether my thoughts
arrive as I have meant them

survive the transition
from notions
  into words?

how do I get to know this me?

ask my friends
     or enemies
who I know
     are biased one way or the other?

find myself in meditation
     with a guru
     or just with myself?

what if I discover
     there is more than one me
     that I have many selves?

must I accept
     all of them
or can I choose the ones
     I like best?

life is difficult ..

the media endlessly repeat
a video with a white police officer
kneeling on a handcuffed black guy
who keeps saying “I can’t breathe”
until he dies

******* of violence
of the worst kind
makes you feel guilty
     like a ******
both repelled and fascinated

racist ****** perpetrated
     blatant
     in full sight
by one whose badge claims
he protect you from harm

outrageous

the power of disappointment
is always remarkable

how dark
a sunny day
how ordinary
the loveliest loving woman
how destitute
a happy life

in those moments
when we cannot forgive
ourselves

what is this unrest
driving me to take on much
   too much at times
and find content
only in fleeting moments
when quiet comes
to be enjoyed
just to be shunned again
in favor of a newer goal

am I a driven man
   obsessed
   conditioned by
   insatiable needs
until the final quiet
   of the dead?

I do not know

maybe I should
hold still more often
to reassess my way

but though sometimes I fear
I go too fast
   so far
I'd rather run
than stand
and contemplate the past

the brush creates
    in careful steps
a painter‘s vision of the face
lets eyes shine bright
    or filled with pain
the lips closed firm and serious
    or hinting at a secret smile
abundant hair, a bit, or none at all
large ears, or medium, or small
pale cheeks, or rosy, with a glow
firm chin, with or without a beard

few limits to the versions of the world
in the attempt to make
the portrait gaze
right into viewers' eyes
    wide with surprise

supposedly
the competition
of the world's best soccer teams

has become
        very deplorably
a plaything of global politics

bad carma

sitting at my computer
I hammer out my messages
to the world
sometimes mark them “high priority”
mostly just “normal”
unencrypted

grateful
that there is at least
one part of a technology
that connects people
rather than
makes them fight
over it

the seesaw of political smacks
sounds like fabrics by political hacks
solves none of the questions
adds diplomatic congestions
all it does is threaten attacks

the end is nigh -
IMPEACH!

Your eyes
when I am with you
sometimes puzzle me

Where does their loving gaze
come to a rest within me
when it sinks deep
inside myself

What do they see
when they get wide and soft with joy
and seem to look
beyond me
into secret lands?

And when they close
with pleasure
   and a little flutter
am I still there
within them
do they see
  me ?

the tweets of Donald J. Trump
are often incredibly dumb
he shoots out some message
which while still on its passage
corresponds to its sender's small thumb

this is a time
when open doors
close silently
when I approach

against my will

I can no longer enter
familiar spaces
they lock me out

a stranger in the world
   I thought was mine
left with no home
   to take me in
shuffling through streets
   without a goal
in a world of closed doors

this is the time
when I am not

        * *

at times I wonder
how to make best use of them

not sleep too long
so you don‘t find
your mornings are too short

structure your time
try not to get distracted
     too much by the morning news
     on mobile  TV  or pc

shop economically
    every third day   or so

remember your morning exercise
     your pills  your grocery list
     your medical appointments
     your telephone calls
     your social appointments
     & cetera

all that effort surely deserves  
a day on which I just sleep in
do none of the above
let gladly pass the day in all its glory

simply enjoy
an evening after no work well done

how dare you
discriminate against
those who have
escaped their death
and fought their way
to our land

how dare you
ridicule their pain and suffering
their loss and incapacity

HOW DARE YOU!!!

will we ever get enough
be enough
for our greedy selves?

is there a saturation point
for our needs
our demands
to always have
more of what has made us
   feel so good
      or bad?

   you do not work enough
   you do not care enough
   you do not love me enough
   you do not speak enough
   you do not have enough

   not pay enough
   not sleep enough
   not say enough
   not learn enough

   not enough exercise
   not enough fun
   not enough suffering
   not enough dancing
      with the wind

yet we are able to
have enough
   drink
   food
   time
   trouble
   & cetera

enough is enough
we say

somehow
it never is

       * *

chasing the jam
in the brioche
bite for bite

between sips
from the double espresso
and glances
at the sun
behind the clouds

the cup goes empty

the jam remains unfound

the sun keeps hiding

the day has begun

        * *

today‘s occupant of the White House
is ne'er sure what his latest insight was
he tweets it at midnight
by dawn it‘s got pale
and at breakfast it‘s declared that it not was

I should have known

when I recalled
the color of your eyes
soon after I first
looked into them

and when I went on
noticing your absence
  looking for you
  among the crowd

I should have known

when finally
I saw you walk in
   wet with rain
and felt like singing

I should have recognized

   but probably did not
   dare admit to myself
how much I longed
to be
with this lovely
woman

after four years
of a wannabe dictator as president
let's give a big sigh of relief
     at his demise
roll up our sleeves
and start repairing the damage
done to people and institutions

hard work
but the only way to save
(U. S.) democracy

any fool can wreak destruction

building functioning democracies
takes time  
needs dedication  
love for your country
and all of its people

good luck

when I was young
my little world
held only few phenomena

   some friends, the parents
   school, my new bicycle
   and my beloved books

the path was clear
horizons had no ends

and I walked on

some people seem to believe
the power to **** makes them safe

deadly error

just makes them more dangerous for everyone
themselves included

putting on tiles
in the tiny kitchen
of his lover´s apartment
   in Paris
that belonged
to a friend of hers
   he felt
like building a house
in the middle of the Seine
starting with the second
floor

painfully shrouded
   in the presence
      of your absence
I go about my business

it takes me days
   to rebalance
   and to remember  that
the hurt of missing you
is a result
   of your existence  that
the joy of loving you
   will be fulfilled again  that
   the happiness
      will come back

only then
   can my eyes regain
      their smile
at the world

a morning breeze draws gentle ripples on the sea
    dancing and glittering in the sun
at times more serious wrinkles
on the puckered surface indicate
strong deeper currents down below
moving unseen

shaping the everchanging faces
of our oceans all across the globe
creating scenes of terror and of beauty
    leaving us breathless
wondering about the plenitude
    nature brings forth
    often in frightening abundance
that occupies our lives

the night in which
the dead come alive for a while

only to be frightened
right back into their graves
by the horrible masked spectacles
of the living

is it my world
that catches up with me

      or I with it?

remembering
     that I do not exist without it
     nor it without me
is healthy

it makes me
    eagerly
expect another day

people are dying
all around me
   my mother did
   my aunt looks very much
   like she would follow soon
and remind me
of my similar future
at some unknown date

my father
still holds on to life
out of defiant habit
an example of sheer living

always a fighter
he now fights biology
unto the last

I love him
also
for that

right at the center
of a somewhat stormy europe
my little country
     at times
     with a touch of gallows humor
struggles to maintain
the venerable illusion
that Austria remains
as we have thought for centuries
     an island of the blessed

amidst the brexit troubles
the growing voices of dull nationalists
     masking as patriots
authoritarian visions
     of „illiberal democracies“
         even at home

heart-breaking fates of refugees
     unwanted anywhere
spineless politicians
     who change positions
     according to the winds
     of not so presidential twitters

follow deniers of the climate change
     though they are sweating
     through the highest temps
     since measurements began

      etc., etc.

sometimes we may be wise
remembering poetic words of yore
like those of dear John Donne:

„No man is an island“

be honest

do you always
like yourself
   your partner
   all your friends
   your job

do you not feel
    at times
that you are quite abominable
   your friends are boring
   or turned into enemies
that your beloved partner has become
   an obligation rather than the joy of your life
and that your job is just
   a never ending treadmill

if all of the above applies
then it is time to take
   a mental step or two
   back from the everyday

look at yourself
as from a mountain top
and honestly acknowlegde
that you belong
   to the seven billion people
   on this globe

who struggle

          * *

invisible
yet possibly deadly
it empties streets
makes us quarantine
cities  regions  nations
hits us unprepared
reminds us that pandemics
can also happen in our time

a few days ago I walked downtown
a strange quietness filled the air
made me react to noises and sounds
I had not even noticed
when streets were full with people and cars

     even the wail of distant ambulance sirens
     sounded louder and more ominous

I only saw occasional joggers
a few women airing their pet dogs
more bicycled food deliveries than usual

they hardly acknowledged my existence
glances did not meet
my friendly nods were rarely returned

we have all become solitary strangers
keeping their safe distance

we feel
experience
   has no end

maybe death
but we do not
   really know

so we speculate
   or believe
in one or many

one day perhaps
we know an answer

and then
may feel
we have known it
all along

         * *

closing my eyes
I feel your lips
   close over me
   in firm embrace

close to your ears
I murmure
words of love

and then go on
to close my lips
   lovingly
all over yours

holding each other
    close
we close ourselves
to the rest of the world
   for a while

and open up
    to us

         * *

grey and black
and powerful

its pointed cone
***** in
all shapes and colors

we do not know
how
where
if

they come back

I rarely go out
do not talk to many
cook my own meals
don a mask on planes and buses
and crowded supermarkets

hoping to survive Covid
uninfected

130 mass shootings
    in the first three months
      of. 2023

lately on the average
50 people are shot dead
    every day
in the land of the free and the brave

since 2020
gunshot wounds
have become the primary cause
of death among children and teenagers

why people
would want to live in a land like that
I do not know

outrageous words too often
are followed by terrible deeds

ever and again
politicians apparently forget
that the dangers
of living on our planet
are real

and that it is their responsibility
to make sure  
that they hand out contracts
only to companies
that build safe houses
that do not bury their inhabitants
under their rubble

when the earth quakes

sad I am
     and go to bed
lock my heart up
     from inside
in my soul
     I dim the light

so none sees
    so none hears
all the fury
   all the pain
struggling in my flood of tears

it seems that our earliest ancestors
already felt the need to advocate
existence of such beings
     larger than humans
     yet created in their image
they could adore  
     pray to  
          ask for help
in their hard life‘s exhausting chores

     Egyptian  Hindu  Greek
     Roman or Jewish  Mayan  Christian
     Islamic, Orthodox or Puritan

they all see leader figures
     mostly male
     and patriarchal hierarchies
as necessary for the survival
of a firm belief and their religious values

where there are many god(esse)s
earthlings in need are able to appeal
     and donate gifts
to more than one

     other religions offer fewer choices
     or none

yet all are born from the conviction
that we need help from higher sources
we have created ourselves

out of distrust
that we could master
life‘s challenges
on our own

your eyes
keep telling me
I am not a stranger
among the billions
   of human life forms
but have found
my woman
   in the oceans of women
to feel
at home

* *

over the years
when the signs of time
begin to show
   on your brow

you look into the mirror
and think that
   maybe
you can actually learn
to make peace
with the face
that looks back at you

not easy
though

my eyes
  see yours
when they awake
to face the world

your lips
return my smile
in dreamy moments

your face
looks into mine
from my reflections
in the polished glass

my voice responds
   to yours
in endless dialogue
through time and space

your body's loving warmth
has taken home
deep down within

I have got you
under my skin

* *

she had promised

   he kept waiting

he knew it would be
   late

and kept himself busy
fighting against
   the lump he felt
   beginning to form
   in his chest
when long after midnight
the phone continued
not to ring

he thought of
how she would enjoy
exhilarating company
   and be happy

in the end
when her voice
   would come
across thousands of miles
exhausted yet pleased
he would swallow hard
and simply tell her
"I love you"