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suicidalsmiles Apr 2014
I count the hours,
I count the days.
Since you left me.
How much I miss you,
I count the ways.

I miss your voice,
I miss your touch.
And I miss the face,
That I love so much.

You used to call me baby
Shortie, my world, my love
You used to tickle me and tease me
And say you loved me to the moon
And back.
Darling boy,
You were so in love!

So why cant you just love me again?
Oh my darling boy
I’ve tried in vain
To forget your golden eyes
And smiling face
But that is impossible.
But you seemed to have
Forgotten me.

I so badly wish you loved me.
Once again.
I long to feel
Your warm embrace.
And to see a smile,
Upon your face.
Just one more time.

How to describe it,
There is no way.
The feeling
that is driven deep in my heart
I walk around,
In a permanent daze.

You were pure and sweet
Dangerous and troubled
All at the same beautiful time
You are truly perfect my darling boy.

I miss you so much my darling boy,
To the moon and back again.
And this feeling will go on,
Forever and ever, my darling boy.
him > everything.
Infamous one Feb 2013
I found I can't say whatever I want
Through writing I say or express how I feel
I don't try to appeal to crowd
I've always had an opinion
Silence make me angry want to shut down
Ive been through A lot I still won't stop
I can only be me all I got
Released from these chains I fought
pagethatwritesme Mar 2013
an open book on your lap,
hair a black jumble as you cross your legs.
i can hear the skin sliding over skin and the pursing of your lips,
like the sea chumming it up with the salt or some ships.

and of your tongue like a red oval sun
fighting against mine in the dark,

i lilt and drown in the dime of flesh above the ankle strap of your left shoe.
you uncross your legs and look at me, then dip your head toward the ground,
draw your hair out with your fingers, past your face, and let it fall

between your thighs.
skin brown as sand and as hot inside the living room,
beneath seventy watt bulb and lampshade.
you sit up, one mile into my mouth,

and cross your legs again, begin,
“do you like the way that sounds, joshua?"
when my thighs brush against one another?”

the moon gets caught
somewhere in a net as birds shut up
and cats uncurl.
unbuckle an ankle strap,

slip one foot barely out of your shoe. “listen to that,
joshua, you can hear my foot
arching, my legs smearing into one another.”
sand glistens
with sweat

and trembles. uncross legs and gather your hair behind your neck,
slip off your other shoe and claim that you are “naked”.
i believe you
and blame my imagination on the book covered in the folds
of your dress.


*for my shortie
Did ya feel it
was it real it
felt like it
to me.
Hey!
Hey you!
Shortie!
Yeah, I know your struggle
I'm not here to pick
I just want you to know
that I hate em too
and it's all alright
there are times when we can just **** the world
hole in the ozone
from the ****
but is that right?
****, I'm mad too
and No, I can't pretend to be a better person than any body else
but I am not thoughtless
so Kid,
don't get mad and punch the wall
crack through it with the broken bones in your hand
no,
take up a brush
and paint in spite of it
*** then
maybe, just maybe
some one will listen
Rayénari Das Apr 2021
To Shortie

There Is something
unique
Behind those eyes
Like a Sun explotion.

Right there happens
A thousand kisses deep
& all the others
Love songs thats makes you
Cry

But, afterwords:
Neither you save me
& neither i fly
So the only thing thats remains
Is this funny smell
Of a memorie on your hips

Give me some clear water
That one thats spill into the rain
and seductively brings life
and life eventually gets
one degree higher
till the sun rises
and you can see
the desert flowers blooming,
and the wind,
colored gorgeous and chanting wind
takes away
my deep dream
about a pair of beautyful
eyes
cause thats belong
to eternity and God
and they are so sacred
as your bellybottom
and my wish
Huda Jan 2018
Dearest,
I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but I failed you. The path you chose for me has a dead end and not with a graduation hat that would prove that I am as smart and hard working as you believed I could be. The good girl you believed was somewhere inside me, your Beatles girl, your shortie, is long gone. But oh, your stubborn one is still here. It's been years and spreading the love you gave me didn't do me any good, not in such society I guess.. You'd know that. I almost forgot your scent until a stranger passed by me the other day and threw a couple of warm memories with the passing scent, the sound of your laugh is almost fading and the the regret of never telling you I loved you doesn't hurt as much, because I know now that you knew.. you knew. you knew! I REALLY HOPE I'M NOT LYING TO MYSELF BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE WITH THE GUILT ANYMORE.
I need you.
I'm in desperate need of your guidance.
I miss you.
Again and forever, I hope you're where we pray to be.
Goodbye.

your stubborn one,
Huda
Jay M Aug 2019
Seated
Waiting
For what?
Who shall know?
For it is a great mystery;
Unknown to any
Unless you can see through those eyes
The eyes of murky times

Can you hear it?
The laughter
The screams
The footsteps
The heartbeats
The repetition
The chaos?

I can...
I see a child
So small and fragile
Sitting alone
Tucked away in a corner
Out of reach of the light
Kept in such solitude
It's surprising she knows what she does
Yet
She is still so dumb
Empty
And needing of someone to show her the way

"When,"
Asks the child,
"Did I become so naive?"

Over and over
Internally
Bashing a skull
It hurts
But it doesn't bleed
Doesn't bruise

Words overflowing
Like the waves of an ocean
In the midst of a tempest
Skies swirling
Thunder echoing
Lightning crashing down
The gusts of wind
Wailing

Yet
None can see this

Why?
None of it exists
Besides in the confines of her mind

Time and time again
Memories race about
Filling every available space
Overwhelming
Alas
It's nothing more than the usual tussle
The same as the day before
And all the previous

"When,"
Asks the child,
"Will this end?"

Never, it seems

Freak, tool, ******,
Idiot, r----d, monster,
Dumby, demon, mental,
Twig, weakling, wanna-be,
Try-hard, kiss-a--, f-ck-up,
Lazy, scatterbrain, broken,
Wrong, ugly, shortie,
Hideous, fragile, cutter,
Liar, cold, empty,
Failure, loser, creep,
Fool, b-tch, little sh-t,
Nobody, depressed, anxious,
Nervous, suicidal, painfully shy,
Lonely, miserable, void,
*****, undesirable, timid,
Unfix-able, mistake, loveless,
Worthless, clumsy, underweight,
Tiny, strange, always tired,
Emotionally drained, blank,
Dead inside, third wheel, out of place,
Annoying, pointless, purposeless,
Hated, thing, useless...

It all repeats...
Over and over
Nonstop
Continuously for years...

Is there a cure to this madness?
Such is unknown.

Medication after medication
Still
No significant change
No stopping it

Maybe for a moment
But soon it disappears
Fading away
From whence it came
To return soon
Unexpectedly...

- Jay M
August 22nd, 2019
Teemers Apr 2020
you're the major friend factor in my life
I'm sorry I didn't pull you out of your misery
I still held on
I know you're regretting the silence between us
I wish things turned out differently for you
I wish you didn't keep circling around
  ...........the same fools who often play you
but be still young one
mistakes don't make people
you make yourself
and you needed to step away from the feigns
you couldn't lean on
I know
you were always my lil shortie
and honestly
I'm glad you're in there and not dead.

— The End —