So windy outside,
it feels like this house is a boat,
sea sick feeling queazy a bit,
dizzy from the commotion of being afloat,
she loves me,
she loves me not,
if you even have to ask you already know the answer,
it’s exactly what you thought,
what’s it going to be,
choose your own adventure,
use get used win lose,
game over add another quarter,
see it feels like Time stopped,
went to sleep a young child woke up an old man,
it’s got me saying things like “When I was a kid,
we’d go down to the arcade and play video games.”,
who’s world is this anyways,
and why do I feel like this is all a dream,
I suppose I loved her because she made me feel this dream was real,
but I guess this as in us wasn’t as real as it first seemed,
I’m bursting,
at the seams,
taking the glory of this torment,
and displaying it on the screen,
so I’m back writing again,
it was either that or emotional suicide,
swear to God it’s easier to not feel at all,
than to have all these emotions bottled up inside,
see if ignorance is bliss,
and genius it torture,
than being Emotionless,
is better than being a Hopeless Lover,
still searching for something that doesn’t exist,
like a Conspiracist searching for the Loch Ness Monster,
swear it’s a curse to not live every moment as a blessing,
because there is still only now there is no happily ever after,
there is only now,
that’s how it’s always been and will be,
and right now I’m alone in this vessel that feels like a sailboat,
caught in a windstorm lost out at sea,
so windy outside,
it feels like this house is a boat,
sea sick feeling queazy a bit,
dizzy from the commotion of being afloat…
∆ LaLux ∆
Friday The 13th, April 2018
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