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Ashwin Kumar Aug 2023
When I met you
I developed an instant liking
Though it was not in a romantic sense
You seemed to be a bit shy
But at the same time, quite friendly
Not to mention, down-to-earth
We got along nicely
And when I met your family
I was impressed
Not due to wealth, class or social status
But because of the fact that they were all very good human beings
With no attitude or airs whatsoever
And they were already okay to accept me as one of their own
Well, we soon started speaking over the phone
On a daily basis
And since we had developed a good understanding
I agreed to marry you
The engagement was a simple affair
But I got the feeling
That we were a cute couple
Especially when we took you on a trip
Right after the engagement
As I mentioned earlier
Though I didn't have any romantic feelings
When I first met you
They soon started to develop
During the period between the engagement and the marriage
I even funded your marriage expenses
Because I trusted you
Never did I imagine
That you would eventually betray my trust
Especially after the date we had in Pondicherry
Of course, COVID19 struck
And our marriage had to be postponed indefinitely
Naturally, you were very upset
I myself was quite depressed
But I thought we could at least talk it out
Instead, you started avoiding me
As well as my family
I let it slide
Since I truly loved you
Eventually, after a week or so, we started talking again
However, things were definitely not the same as earlier
I could sense a lack of enthusiasm from your side
Moreover, you were free to talk only around 9 PM
Though ideally you should have been free throughout the day
Considering you lost your job due to COVID
Something for which you were duly compensated
By my father, who kept sending you money every month without fail
Anyway, I let it slide again
Because I loved you
On the eve of our wedding, I wrote a heart-touching poem
Which was appreciated by almost everybody
Except the person for whom it was written
That is, you
Anyway, I thought things would change
Once the wedding finally happened
However , they didn't
I made many attempts to strike a conversation
But you were only interested in watching your precious serials
I too began to watch them, for your sake
Mind you, I am no fan of serials
But I thought I should make an exception
For my dear wife
However, was I ever dear to you?
You never talked to me on your own
And when I tried to talk to you
You kept repeating the same thing
That we would eventually talk at some stage
I kept wondering and wondering
As to when that "stage" would eventually arrive
Then came the ultrasound pregnancy test
With its shocking results
From then on, you were a changed person
You kept clinging to me
And refused to let me out of your sight
You even forced me
To stop talking to my best friend
And your own best friend did her best
To make me feel as guilty as possible
Blinded by love, as I was
I refused to listen to reason
Believing that you were being discriminated against
Because of your class and caste
When you finally confessed
That you had slept with another guy
You couldn't even look me in the eye
Because of your betrayal, I went through depression
For more than a month
I am not going to waste my time
Discussing the tedious and protracted divorce process
But you took advantage of me
And my frigging autism
You lied to me and cheated me
And I loved you
Yes, it sounds difficult to believe
But I genuinely loved you
And was thus made to suffer
It's time all feminazis take note of this
Rather than jumping into conclusions
And blaming the male whenever there is a divorce
Or even an estrangement
That's all I have to say
Amen!
Poem dedicated to my ex-wife.
Qualyxian Quest Aug 2023
She's a really bad person
Selfish, mean, hateful
My green couch is quiet
I read alone

America began in genocide
Slave labor all around
La Florida has thunderstorms
Zero at the Bone

Evolution is random mutations
Am I changing too?
Pondicherry Zone
Emptiness Unknown

Tired, restless, uneasy
Life does not make sense
No real deliverance
Into this world we're thrown

      City at Night! City at Night!
archana Apr 2018
seashore and sea trucks all clanking their way
with my demons swinging their clubs at bay
the street lights flicker, the shade now the colour
of your pale mellow skin. i bleed in the colour of
the sea, maybe a bit of a whale blue and a tinge of a
seaweed. but the essence is still the smell of your
cigarettes. how can trucks that chug down Pondicherry
smell like typhoons flavoured like berries?
simple flowers that are dying. dry and sore, almost
like how i assume my face is a bore.
i can't do much now can i? i cry here and there
and lift myself and walk with a weak flair
and it's not that bad, because the anagram of my
love put the other way is lifeless.
how nothing can make me so much you ask
its because i kept running away from demons
why you ask, again, because i always loved my demons,
the way i loved your name, so why the race?

because now all my demons have your face.
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2021
The truly sacred is hidden
Jesus in the manger
Buddhist monk in Bangkok
Jesus in the stranger

I wander lonely as a cloud
Take my sons to dinner
Close to the very heart of God:
The lost, the lonely, the sinner

Silent meditation
Women in Tai Chi
Basketball at twilight
Thailand sanuk di!

He said he's 37
Me I'm 52
Life of Pi perhaps
Philosophy as Zoo

    And a daughter too
Bryce Dec 2018
It has been resolved!

It is a crusted concept, inept and unabashed

It is the last call on a windy city tram to the south side

It is a favorite sports bar closed for remodel

The pleasant bliss of air and undisclosed favorites

I will finally extricate myself from the grips of Charybdis

I will continue on, my sail billowing with glee

the air is my fuel and neverrun empty

Can you give a piece of El Dorado to my newfound friend,

Can you give them the same happiness you promised me

and don't let them wonder too long


These unforgotten experiences that mean something to you--

It is an orange rind in the water, silently exfoliating the ions

It is a concrete structure undefined

All the stones that are friendly and snuggled intently against

the mold

I will find new homes in the volcanic chains and wonder about you

You will never again remember the same way who I am, just the faded constraints of the way I challenged your brain

Think of new things! See the trees as lungs

and breeeeaaaathing

You'll find that love in another chunk of god, no complaints for the weary

The kind and lovable axeman who cuts u--Pondicherry

I am a static mold and will rapidly extrue

All the magnificence of things that I cannot view

I am a rhythm of the heart, a beaming drum

I analyze the air and drink it like ***

Fermented love of god, give me no return

To give that which no man has earned

thank you,
sweet love
thank you for showing me something new.
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
The sadness weighs heavy
I walk, but only slow
The lights in the park are lovely
Solamente yo

53 and falling
One man come and go
53 and falling
Seattle cedarsnow

I sent my letter to you
Dublin, Ohio
Pondicherry Zoo
Tzimzum overflow

Never right without the girl
But she always slips away
The pain inside my heart
Live to cry another day

          Pero - still xie xie
Qualyxian Quest May 2023
I wish I wasn't bipolar
Ordinary life
Ordinary swimming pool
Ordinary wife

I like sci-fi movies
Oxford. Dublin too.
Everlasting sleep
Pondicherry Zoo

     Susan. Not Sue.
Up at night and writing
What else can I do?
She's a schizophrenic
Pondicherry Zoo

Father Greeley was a fighter
Chicago's Irish eyes
Told the truth about Iraq
George W. Lies

I've been to Arizona
Rode the Tucson Train
Somewhere Across the Border
Is the Purple Rain

She's also colossally selfish
Now I'm 55
Not doing very well
But grateful to be alive

                    I've ...
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2023
All I can tell you, dear reader,
Is that I want to die into it
And into her too

On the Altar:
The Dark Knight
Pondicherry Zoo

Massive self doubt
The need to resist
Reno Rendezvous

The pull of the Silence:
Forever.
Horton Hears a Who

               Do you?
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
I keep writing because I ...
And I ...
So do you

I read Life of Pi
Pondicherry Zoo

Purple goes the sky
Carolina blue

I live Without a Why
Souped up 72

In my solitude
Ever ancient, Ever new

Because the Night
Does she, Does she do?

     She's like the Wind

             Hoo! Hoo!
Qualyxian Quest Jan 2023
Lonely isolation
Not a female friend in sight
Rarely conversation
Paranoia plight

Way off in the distance
A flicker from the past
Rendezvous resistance
Hey Now! Everlast

2037
3772
Colorado Rockies
Pondicherry Zoo

Hamnet. Susanna. Judith.
Sleepy Staunton, Virginia
Jimmy Reed Indeed
And everything within ya

With Light comes the Shadow
I drive home alone
Early days in Venice
Future still Unknown

            Tintoretto!
I'm gonna read Knife
Book by Salman Rushdie
His is an interesting life
Alas and alack for him

Such a pretty church
England, lovely England
Mr. C.S. Lewis
In Florida long ago

America is corrupt
I have corruption too
Pondicherry Zoo
No real hope for me

Episcopaliens!
Walk in Purple Rain
Downbound, Downbound Train
I drift, I drift toward death

                quiet breath
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2022
Jerusalem was brown
Tel Aviv was blue
Vienna aglow in slow
I try to break on through

I write because I ...
I try. I really do.
Time tick tocks
Pondicherry zoo

      Parlez vous?
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2022
My so called life does not make sense
So watcha gonna do?
Take the Downbound Train
To the Pondicherry Zoo

City at Night. City at Night!
Try to break on through
Carolina Inn
With her and me and you

      Rothko green and blue

                 Seattle U.
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
The human shadow is black
But the American shadow is white
Rothko blue and green
Cranberry juice with Sprite

My son is gonna read Dune
My other son plays Destiny 2
My youngest boy takes swimming lessons
Pondicherry Zoo

They are not baptized
Only once to church
An Irish bar in Charlotte
Ireland part of my Search

Mabel Loomis Todd
Friend to Emily
Taxi from Boston to Amherst
Episcopal nearby memory

                  373
Qualyxian Quest Oct 2023
.........Mario Cuomo.......
              Seattle U.
          Pondicherry Zoo
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2023
Something for the animals
I truly wish to do
Flying in the sky
Pondicherry Zoo

I am a taxi service
Carolina blue
Courage moving forward
Mario Cuomo Seattle U.

            Reading.
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
He accused Melville of being Piratical
But I played baseball too
Bert be home Blyleven
Pondicherry Zoo

I am a left handed pitcher
Steal a base after a walk
Very drawn to silence at times
Not as drawn to talk

A Pirate Looks at 40
And now I'm 53
Carl Hiaasen in Miami
We near the Baltic Sea

             Pirates We!
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
Americans love money
Violence and foreign wars
Mr. Garvey is painfully funny
Thai street food and Thai ******

The Buddha sits in silence
Gentle, knowing smile
Come Sail Away on my radio
I do not turn the dial

Pondicherry Zoo
I hope I'm a wounded healer
Solamente uno email
But in my soul I feel her

I hope I go down grateful
Thank you, Life, for my sons
Souped up 72
Taipei 101

                  Protection!
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2023
81 South
Camus at JMU
Absurd Theonerd
Pondicherry Zoo

DC metro train
She's dressed in black
I'm too shy
Too shy, Jack

6066
Centuries have passed
Come Sail Away by Styx
Hey Now! Everlast

          
                Susan!
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2023
The rain, the pain, 2 trains
I live all alone
Call and text my son
Honeymoon in Rome

Once I was a teacher
Read books to the tweens
A little Purple Rain
A little Irish green

Might reread Life of Pi
Pondicherry Zoo
I Thai Wai
U Thai 2

               'tis true
Qualyxian Quest Oct 2021
Xanthippe was a shrew
So was Mary Todd
Feminine insane
Have trod, have trod, have trod

Pythagoras he loved numbers
137. 72.
Vincent's eyes were green
Susan Meek's are blue

               Pondicherry Zoo
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2023
So much so much so much self doubt
Panicky fear fear fear
But courage going forward
Whisper in my ear

Do the best I can
The best I can and trust
Not just me and 3
Also me and us

The pain that living brings
The comfort of blue sky blue
My need for silence at times
And my need for you

             Pondicherry Zoo
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2023
Ain't no justice
But it creeps on, seeps on through
The Green Flash is real
Is the Pondicherry Zoo?

A little hope in Memphis
3372
Thank you, Andy Dove
Rebel Albert Camus

           I'm with U
Qualyxian Quest Oct 2022
Sick and suffering they said
Sick and suffering is true
That's what I was given
Pondicherry Zoo

All Hallow's Eve
2022
My friends Mike and Steve
I still remember you

Time is not a line
I try to break on through
The sadness weighs me down
Ever ancient, Ever knew

Als Ick Kan
Markson in my view
Courage to the end
Rothko green and blue

         Seattle Slew
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
He don't believe that Heaven waits
For only those that congregate
She don't believe in Heaven.

I'm tired and bored and lonely
1137

Why keep writing?
Not much else to do

Siena Cathedral
Pondicherry Zoo

Took some risks
In 2022

Did it work?
Not yet through

     two clues
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
****** fantasies
That will probably never come true
Friendship fantasies
The Pondicherry Zoo

Talking fantasies
In my silent solitude
Musical fantasies
I Come Sail Away with you

              not-two
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2022
O!
The truth is gonna cut both ways
Cut against me too
Corrupt proclivities
Pondicherry Zoo
Waterdaughterplotter
Do wah diddy do
Sacramento bento
Horton Hears A Who

       Jose, Can You?
Sometimes psychosis is breakdown
Sometimes break on through
54 and falling
What then must we do?

French onion soup
Pondicherry Zoo
Mister Meister Eckhart
Comin' home to you

               3122
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
The freaked out ****** up long lost
Human race
And the Republicans too
Pero un pequito hope
Near the Pondicherry Zoo

Little Sage Ridge School
Reno rendezvous
Chapel of the Cross
Carolina blue

Her dark brown skin
Susan Meek not Sue
Her **** female voice
The hidden, chosen few

Death closes all
What then must few do?
Thich Nhat Hanh in Berkeley
One Action. Not Two.

              I is You.
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
I tell my dad of Vernon Brown
He goes all Twilight Zone
I like this little town
Both with neighbors and alone

Gotta pay the speeding ticket
Didn't sleep too well
Rabbits in the thicket
Queequeg, Ishmael

Swimming lessons for my son
Gotta fix my car
Practice in the near
Purpose in the far

In Bangkok Buddhamind
In Reno Rendezvous
I wanna travel blind
Doe. A deer. Adieu.

      Pondicherry Zoo
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
She would have to come here
And that's not gonna happen
So, my dear,
What should I do?

2023
I wait. I wait.
Children grow
Carolina blue

Rainin' Hard in Frisco
Susan, not Sue
Every Rose Has It's Thorn
Pi has the Pondicherry Zoo

           I ain't got you
Qualyxian Quest Oct 2023
Good on race
Bad on ***
Haunted by
My ex and ex

54
What comes next?
Ending of Embers
Genuflects

Minestrone soup
Rainy day women
Pondicherry Zoo
Silent swimmin'

Work today
Pay down my bill
Young sons sung
Gone the thrill

       dailiness....
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
Not much hope for the Americans tonight
So I play Battleship
Twilight blue the fade
Ah! the twilight blue

I drive home with my son
So handsome at 16
My pride. My darling boy.
I tell him of Lao Tzu

We drank tea in San Francisco
In Dublin one hot toddy
Mango lhassi lately
Pondicherry Zoo

     Dr. Thomas: help me be true.

                      Thank you.
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2023
Foggy mist in the misty mountain
I like it, yes I do
Bilbo Baggins, Bilbo Baggins
Pondicherry Zoo

                 137732
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2022
Yo soy un isolato
I reach out but do not reach
They think I am a freak
But I'm actually a geek

I oppose the Americans
They oppose me too
We go down together
Pondicherry Zoo

Rome, the Eternal City
Ever ancient, Ever new
Am I starved for attention?
'Tis true, 'Tis true

Extrasolar water
Aliens in view?
Patientia
Souped up 72

      Pero who?
Qualyxian Quest Oct 2021
I sometimes take myself
Too seriously
I know I do I do

But the moonlight
Is deliriously
Pondicherry Zoo

I am moved
By the mysteriously
Horton hears a Who

I resist
The cruel imperiously
Reno rendezvous

        Comin' home 2U, U2
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2023
Walnut Heights, Ohio
1972
Hotel California
Pondicherry Zoo

Panic at the Disco
Me and Rod Carew
Time is not a line
We the proud the few

Unsure about Chicago
Horton Hears a Who
I wait and dedicate
Purple green and blue

Jesus was a sailor
See you in St. Lou
Panic comes again
Undone Seattle slew

             In lieu.
Qualyxian Quest Apr 2023
I was a teacher for 18 years or so
Hope I did some good
Music and memories
Reno neighborhood

Reno big blue sky
Black smoke rolling through
Might reread Life of Pi
Pondicherry Jew

              3772
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2023
Fears and intuitions
Puzzles, mysteries
Memories in my mind
European histories

Still afraid to die
But the sky so midnight blue
St. John the Evangelist
Pondicherry Zoo

Thailand Land of the Free
Barefoot in the rain
Once or twice in England
Never Been to Spain

Thank you for endurance
Thank you for my mom
Heather at the 8th grade dance
Wendy at the Prom

               O those 80s!

— The End —