hello
my name is ging
and i am super excited to say
i want to **** my self
i want to **** myself
my name is ging and i am super exicted to say
i want to end myself
it was nice knowing you ging
who was a nephew
to my brothers
indifferent to all the others
came to his decision
to end it all with a precision
elect to wreck the mess in a violent
mess
inside the details of the message
written only four days before
a zero feeling kind of fever
oh so aromatic
like the budding rose affliction
absent minded automatic
boys grow up to meet the man
they never knew because
ging pink misted his head on a sunny afternoon
just week two and all he knew
was lost in moments on his knees
crossed eyes fractal skull and brain matter
like lives matter at all and to whom or what
whatever was in his mind
is sure to remind
you of the fetish
for which the chumps **** at
for one in every forty
just dont try it once a year
*****.

Wow... she may not be innocent, but he is an absolute *******.
DON'T BURN ME!!! (continues grabbing at a burning cigarette)
pure ****** ***** !
I would've slapped the **** out of that ****
Burning someone with cigarettes is a terrible thing to do.
I'm glad there's a great big ******* ocean between me and these *******
you can't really expect anything less from such low-class people.
very classy.
Will they just have *** already?
close your legs....*****
he is just upset that she doesn't want to **** him

Aching...
Aching in a place where I only thought love was generated.
Frustrated...
Frustrated in a area where I thought, my thoughts sought and fought for understandings

Chilly, shivery, nippy, bitter,
Like the runt of a litter

Tired; not drowsy
Tired; not sleepy
Tired; not sluggish or slumberous

Tired as in worn, burned-out, weary...
...Done

It is not only that you do not feel the effects,

You don't even see them on my face

You look at me everyday,
I just look back
If you don't have a clue
If you don't ask, or don't care
That's a clue
That's my Q
Dont ask Y
When you become my X
...
At night I've been losing Zs
I have to start paying more attention to I
I gave up all of my energy, and now I'm running on E
So now I don't give a F

LOL (Lost Our Love)
You lost it too; I'm J/K (Just Knowing)
I'm glad IDK (I Didn't Kneel)
Now I have to B.S (Block Sensitivity)
And ***** (LET MY ******* ANGER OUT)

Great Music Dave,
Sunday Afternoon,
Work needs to get done,
Simplicity of life overwhelming,
At peace for a moment,
Smiling,
Texting and talking,
Thinking of all the possibilities,
Looking at family photos,
Missing you,
Missing her,
Missing them,
Missing.....
Guitar kicks in,
Songs emotions take over,
God i love these moments,
God?
You there?
Maybe later then,
Back to my life,
****** of song,
Heart races with song,
I feel so alive,
I can conquer the world,
I can do anything,
But everything has been done,
What is left to do?
Give me time and ill show you world,
For now keep that guitar rolling Dave,
Stumbling through memories,
Couldnt have said it better,
Should i get to work now?
Nahhhh,
The prospect of life more inviting then the deadlines needed to be met,
Wow,
Kinda deep,
Did i just think of that?
Amazing the thoughts that come out of a one track mind,
there i go again,
lol,
jk,
*****,
God life is wonderful,
Cant think of how to end this high,
I guess ill just end it with the last strum of this song,
And with one more line,
It feels good to feel again!

no thumbs up????
***!
I posted this because I need the affirmation!
I need to feel known! Out of a zillion people who are interconnected
I wanna be recognized. I wanna be validated!
please. any response will do.
negative or positive.
ROFL or ****
LOL or ***** or U ****
anything!
ughhhhh
If I was a cat I'd play piano
If I was fat i'd sing a techno song
and flail my arms!
I feel so alone
in a world so full of people
please respond
please reply
please? anybody.
I'm alone.




anyone?

anybody out their?

no?

no one at all?




(logs off )

TO DO LIST:
-Paint nails black and silver
-Finish reading that novel I started
-Finish writing that novel I started
-Offer my bus seat to an elderly lady… unless I’m driving the bus.
-Make tea
-Practice piano
-Clean out closet
TO ****** LIST:
-People who have hurt those I love
-Depression
-Suicide
-Unrequited love
-Rejection
-Inadequacy
-ppl who lyk legit totes talk lyk this lol as if they are lyk, texting or whatevz cuz they think its lyk totes adorbz and stuff *** lyk ***** rofl
-People who respond to my paragraph text with: K. or Lol.
-Slow walkers in front of me
-people who sing Xmas carols in June.
TO DATE LIST:
-That guy I’ve liked since the first day I saw him
-Chocolate
-Chocolate’s cousin: Caramel
-Tea
-CHOCOLATE BROWNIES
-Every fictional character I am in love with... there's alot

****! Tuesday now! Weekend NO!
Common catchphrase deplete my atmosphere like a swooning sphere BLUE!
About to throw up nonsense!
Don't care how loud this music IS
Must SCREAM talk of beanstalk! ALL CORRECT!

I'll talk like you!
FML LOL *****
(burn)
SHUT THE **** UP
Oh, and I is typically capitalized when used in the way you're going for!
In fact, I can't think of when it's not capitalized when being used in the STUPID way you use it
GET IT RIGHT! I KNOW I SURE DON'T
(but seriously, I'm pretty sure, however informal your intent, it's capitalized.)

PEELING SKIN FROM OUR BONES
AAAHHHHH!!!!
I am inconsequential, you see
I don't matter, you can't see
I'm not here, quite all the way.
Get's me angry, get's me hot, get's me hard, give's me rot

Nothing but writing...
Isolate self
PUSH EM' AWAY
I'm so wrong
It's so bad
I'm incorrect
It's so sad

Hello oldnumber7 [1702] (signout)
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[01:48] fearitferret: I got a minte or two
[01:52] fearitferret: I'm named after a flower
[01:52] fearitferret: gotta impress better than that  
[01:52] oldnumber7: haha
[01:52] oldnumber7: ill try
[01:52] oldnumber7: imma press them in a book
[01:53] fearitferret: Patrick
[01:53] fearitferret: can I ask you a serious question
[01:53] oldnumber7: yes my love
[01:53] fearitferret: break my heart, but do you ever see an actual future for us?
[01:53] oldnumber7: yes
[01:53] oldnumber7: if we can stay alive long enough
[01:53] oldnumber7: yes
[01:54] oldnumber7: is that okay?
[01:54] fearitferret: like, we get to live and die together?
[01:54] oldnumber7: you're my lady im your man?
[01:54] oldnumber7: yeah
[01:54] oldnumber7: if we can do it
[01:54] oldnumber7: inshallah
[01:54] fearitferret: die being decades ahead
[01:54] fearitferret: I'll **** YOU if you awnt to die of anything but old age
[01:54] oldnumber7: hahah
[01:55] fearitferret: I prmise you, I think you'd love it out here, so close to the beach and I want to play with you in the ocean all the time
[01:56] fearitferret: but this means I can work towards moving closer to you if I have to
[01:56] oldnumber7: i want to come to you
[01:56] oldnumber7: get away from here
[01:56] oldnumber7: check ur fb
[01:56] fearitferret: I wish I could make you come here right now, bit **** is super complicated
[01:56] oldnumber7: i know
[01:56] oldnumber7: we have time
[01:57] fearitferret: ummm really?
[01:58] fearitferret: God am I really getting teary eyed over the fact you wanted to be in a FB official relationip with me
[01:58] oldnumber7: i ****** love you
[01:58] oldnumber7: i was blind but now i see
[01:58] fearitferret: RELATIONSHIP
[01:58] oldnumber7: yep
[01:58] oldnumber7: 3.2.1. go
[01:59] fearitferret: you  better be ******* serious about this
[01:59] oldnumber7: i am
[01:59] oldnumber7: im not ****** around
[01:59] fearitferret: I love you to absolute death
[01:59] oldnumber7: same
[01:59] fearitferret: and it
[01:59] oldnumber7: feels good
[01:59] oldnumber7: right
[01:59] oldnumber7: etc
[01:59] fearitferret: it'll take a lot of work to make it
[01:59] oldnumber7: we can do it
[01:59] oldnumber7: work is good
[01:59] oldnumber7: i have a lot of work to do
[02:00] oldnumber7: god willing i am able to accomplish a lot here in the next couple months
[02:00] oldnumber7: hey you
[02:00] fearitferret: You know it'll be 100 times easier for you to move here first, then maybe we move back if that is what you want?
[02:00] oldnumber7: i like the ocean
[02:01] oldnumber7: i like you more though..
[02:01] fearitferret: hahah me too, please don't ever make me leave it!
[02:01] oldnumber7: like a lot lol
[02:01] oldnumber7: deal
[02:01] fearitferret: you're bigger than me
[02:02] fearitferret: you have to take me deeper in the ocean
[02:02] oldnumber7: i got you
[02:02] oldnumber7: trust me im a waterman
[02:02] fearitferret: I trust you way more than I should
[02:02] oldnumber7: i know
[02:02] oldnumber7: i think we can do this, seriously
[02:02] oldnumber7: like a big adventure
[02:03] fearitferret: **** I love you, I trust you
[02:03] oldnumber7: thank you
[02:03] oldnumber7: let me earn it first
[02:03] fearitferret: I really don't want this to be a TOTAL UP choice
[02:03] oldnumber7: if it is then i would rather stay here
[02:03] oldnumber7: i feel happy
[02:03] fearitferret: but I'm here, do or die
[02:03] oldnumber7: do or die
[02:04] oldnumber7: exa.ct.ly
[02:04] fearitferret: be are be
[02:04] oldnumber7: kk
[02:04] fearitferret: like, 10 seconds tops ok, 30
[02:04] fearitferret: I HAVE TO ***
[02:04] oldnumber7: lol do ya thing girlie
[02:07] fearitferret: I spent so long swearing you wereit for me
[02:07] oldnumber7:  
[02:07] oldnumber7: baby
[02:07] oldnumber7: hey
[02:08] fearitferret: I am scared you'll take this away again
[02:08] oldnumber7: i will do everything in my power for that not to happen
[02:08] oldnumber7: i promise
[02:09] oldnumber7: i am a fool, but not such a big one to leave you...
[02:09] oldnumber7: a second time
[02:09] oldnumber7: foolish the first time
[02:09] oldnumber7: i was so misguided..
[02:09] oldnumber7: i love you hah
[02:09] fearitferret: I mean I  understand what happened but "getting caught up in another chick" is pretty basic for not happening
[02:10] oldnumber7: yeah
[02:10] oldnumber7: ******* idiot, straight up
[02:10] oldnumber7: and i claim that
[02:10] fearitferret: I won't deny that
[02:10] oldnumber7: lol you'd be lying if you did
[02:10] fearitferret: but come on, you're awesome
[02:11] oldnumber7: im just doing what i told you, bootstraps
[02:11] oldnumber7: not mine, yours
[02:11] oldnumber7: thanks
[02:11] fearitferret: I guess that hinges on me knowing you much more
[02:11] oldnumber7: i am like a flower sorta haha
[02:11] oldnumber7: just serene
[02:11] oldnumber7: you know me already
[02:12] fearitferret: I'd like to think I know you
[02:12] oldnumber7: i am really excited to get to know you
[02:12] oldnumber7: we have a lot to learn from eachother
[02:13] fearitferret: ouch
[02:13] oldnumber7: we gotta remember, july 8th
[02:13] oldnumber7: you've shown me so much, but it's just a little bit of you
[02:13] oldnumber7: just like you've seen a little bit of me, in passing
[02:13] oldnumber7: like lights
[02:13] oldnumber7: through windows, incense through the drapes
[02:13] fearitferret: You've seen every bit of me
[02:13] oldnumber7: but i want all of you
[02:14] oldnumber7: i've sipped from your cup in my mind
[02:14] fearitferret: I've seen a bit of you, because I was too busy bitcing about myself
[02:14] oldnumber7: i was being crazy
[02:14] oldnumber7: loco
[02:14] oldnumber7: etc
[02:14] oldnumber7: still am a little
[02:14] oldnumber7: you know me
[02:14] oldnumber7: but im working on that
[02:14] oldnumber7: lol baby u look tired
[02:14] fearitferret: I love you baby
[02:15] oldnumber7: you worked hard today huh
[02:15] fearitferret: always have, always will
[02:15] oldnumber7: exactly :3
[02:15] fearitferret: I'm glad you came back
[02:15] oldnumber7: somehow
[02:15] oldnumber7: i didn't think i wanna gonna make it man
[02:15] oldnumber7: seriously
[02:15] oldnumber7: but im changing things
[02:16] fearitferret: I'm absolutely ****** in the brain babe
[02:16] oldnumber7: well another thing we got in common
[02:16] oldnumber7: ;3
[02:16] fearitferret: and I've spent decades
[02:16] fearitferret: fixing, and coforming and screaming about how I need help and then screaming about how I didn't
[02:16] oldnumber7: baby, that's okay
[02:16] fearitferret: and go on and on and on and on
[02:17] oldnumber7: then go on and on with me
[02:17] oldnumber7: we can do that
[02:17] fearitferret: babe
[02:17] fearitferret: look at me
[02:17] oldnumber7: hey
[02:18] oldnumber7: sorry
[02:18] oldnumber7: you're right, the now
[02:18] oldnumber7: now matters
[02:18] fearitferret: I would've killed, and then dreaded, then killed, then dreaded, then killed etc and etc for ******* hrlp
[02:18] oldnumber7: i wish i could've been there
[02:19] oldnumber7: be a rock like you were for me
[02:19] oldnumber7: in my mind
[02:19] fearitferret: For me, take all the help you can. I'll scream and beat on the walls for you if I have to, just, take the help I wanted but didn't get
[02:19] oldnumber7: paint in watercolors behind me while i sing
[02:19] oldnumber7: pick basil out of the garden
[02:20] oldnumber7: read a book somewhere
[02:20] oldnumber7: anywhere
[02:20] oldnumber7: doesn't matter
[02:20] oldnumber7: with my best friend
[02:20] oldnumber7: that makes my heart smile

i have nothing but sunny days
for you and i and our top teeth
im walking around this city with you
holding my own curious happiness in my fists and for once in my ******* life i dont have break it in half to share
if google could translate my heart beat to english, it would just be a transcript of alternating “***” and “*****”,
and i’d die if you knew that
however i will find my ways to give you my stiff and stubborn love
secretly make you an emergency contact, making you godmother to my cat
i’ll avenge the undeserved love from all your ****** exes in the afterlife when nothing matters

the truth is that even if i could do this without you, i would never want to

10 years to be exact
I've been on this on website.
That's a long time.
I thought I would've been famous by now
*****
I'm not all that good at poetry.
Or writing.

Our dishwasher just died on us... so im covered in soap and i dont like it. Soapy in a shower yes, soapy in the kitchen no way. *****

no i’m not in love with you
*****
i’m gay
like really gay

how many times do i have to say this

You try and speak
About your home life
And I go, "Yeah, felt that."

*****
Everything
Is always about me
isn't it