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CK Baker Jan 2017
they stained the back deck today (with a hard to match 7 periwinkle)
400 square feet of knotted pine (in a striking rivet sequence)
red ant drivers (who can forget those little ******)
caked fir needles & feather cone
bug hologram & cedar moss
graffiti crack & cut joist
wheel rut & pick
pike stain (s)
sow bugs
electric
blower
purple
fueled
washer
missing
foul bits
and two of
its former pins
somewhere near
the erratic 9th stroke the
side kick (and his sloppy dullard)
fell sadly in a cacophony of sick laughter
anxious peckers, poinsettias, grub box, rail stems
lacewings (ladylike in their task), third door down windows
old ergonomic chairs (so highly touted in the checkout isle at Lowes)
all for not, I guess ~ seems they never reviewed the Homestead Manual on Fine Deck Painting ~
akr Jul 2011
You have worn your skin
and never asked where it would end.

In rooms made larger by the Old Masters,
your spine also has learned to bend.

The stalk resides inside of you, the joist
fanning through you with the suppleness
of a willow bough.

Don't you know?
The last ink of the day is written with a green pen.
Ken Pepiton Sep 2020
Realized liberty, bike lanes,
okeh, Bret Weinstein is right, they do measure liberty

all my roads have double yellow lines, as a measure of safety
in a two-way world.
{which is partly why the code in DNA runs one way}

measuring minding
trips my trigger, to what I was thinking of writing
while watching a whispy-white haired man-my-age,
measuring the edge of a two-story house,

which a good man is building for his daughter,
down the hill, from where I sit.
That old man is bowed, in a compressed spine
kinda way,
bam bam men walked that way, in China, before the dams.

Tote that bail, tug that rope, nuthadayowe-der wise,
otherwise, aliens versus everything
pop knowns
you had locked away, in those gated intellectual troughs.
Yes, yes, troughs,
Pigs eat from troughs, cows eat from cribs,
chickens eat from dirt and sheep *** all the grass for wool
to pull over our eyes
filtering lies
like sunlight under big old Pines shading little old
Rosemary patches that feed bees,
wooly eyes, wise
meander, would you say away from world's wisest men discussing
what may be done, we set a spell, make peace with
having nothing else to do.

-- that sorta ran through my mind as I watched the elderly carpenter.
He was careful, but not afraid, aware.
He stepped from joist to joist,
at the very edge of the second story peak edge
perpendicular to the foundation square,

eye-ball-level to me
slow and steady he takes a tape, {such a witty invention}
a tape attached to a spring,
whereas once such things were actual hinged wands that unfolded
at the flick of an old wizards wrist,

then out came the soapstone, to lay down the line,
make the mark.
Here is where we cut, measure twice,
cut once,

he is sayin' in his mind, to me, I think, I imagine being told
this is how we learn what is right.
we learn to measure what works by what is.

If the distance between two points is beyond the reach, oopshit
I got distracted and he fell.
Things we imagine catching attention, good enough to step...
Geoffrey Saucer

Siegfried Bassoon

W.B. Yeast

Sylvia Bath Tub

Adrienne Ditch

James Joist

Samuel Bucket

Edgar Allan ***
This is my best one yet.
David Noonan Feb 2018
another door closed
another community mourns
a macabre picture on a frame
for a tear stained love to find
once crafted by his own hand
not twelve months since
now a final resting place
marked by a note in steady pen
and why should it take
an angel of the epihany
to deliver a man in a plastic bag
to teach us of cbt
of an emotional intelligence
to be mindful of ourselves
while church, state, school fails
this country's young men
for generations and on
the silence does creep
so many futures in the past
too many paths closing so fast
there are so many questions
that sustain this male disease
silence never speaks in answers
or hears society's griefful pleas
today in another village
tommorow yet another town
a young man fits an attic joist
with silent eyes so cold
for jesus he was a carpenter
or so at least we're told
death by suicide continues to a nightmare visited on so many towns and villages of rural Ireland for generations and on with next to no supports of state ever prioritised to tackle this disease of predominately young men
Arcassin B Jan 2015
By Arcassin Burnham

Nothing in life or even existence,
Could compare to excellent beautifully well put-together sound that still today roams the radios and still in record form, so ahead of its time, that's the main song they would mostly remember her by, which in my case isn't true, shedding tears for this song is inexplicably the most joist feeling I've ever had since 2004 which was the best year of my life, I will always and forever remember this song, as it is still my favorite song.
R.I.p Minnie Riperton
Julie Butler Mar 2015
I've mapped this house out for months now;
praying you'll kiss me against every joist holding                (in & exhale)
I'll breathe out
all the lives I have lived without this
my chest will beat the tale of you over and over to my ribs & my legs will never stand again without aching

Spending my time like pennies, *waiting
Oh ye men of Greece and Rome,
Too long have ye laboured,
Feel you not what is to come,
the grass by the wall of the ruin?  

Leave ye down your tools, ancient peoples,
know you not what is to come?  
See you not the pass of many years,
the grass through pavements old?

Great enterprise never sprung from a fertile land,
Go ye into the desert, and there build your temples,
Amongst the sands and beneath the sun,
where grass can never grow.  

Here the  lines and here the verse,
Here the vaults and chimneys,
Hark the turning of the days,
eek the tall and terrible days.  

Lo, the falling of a chimney,
Lo, the crack of stones to splinter,
Lo, the old oak tree stands yawning.
better to build from bushes and thorn.  

Have at your lawnmowers, ye council men,
And see what good it does you,
Think ye can halt the rise and fall,
of strong towers left to ruin?

Have at your anoraks, and have at your coats,
Clouds gather above and rankle the parapet,
Here stood a roof, here a joist, here a beam,
blackened in the soot and flames –  here falls the rain.  

Have at your sickles, and have at your hammers,
Go back to steppe and sod from whence ye came,
And never more disturb the sepulchral vaults,
where lie long dead men of Greece and Rome.
I suppose this comes close to a cheap imitation of something Coledridge might have written - general romanticism, splashes of the gothic, and plenty of blunt apathy - all it needs is a screeching owl and some auld sailor bloke.  Look, its still better than anything Michael D. Higgins ever wrote.  

Middle English Glossary: eek - also/additionally/besides.
Early Modern English Glossary: Lo - an exclamation.  
Whence - where from (dative form of 'where').

These are not deliberate archaicisms for the sake of it, I just think they sound nice.  The word 'ye' is used because it is just as good as 'you'.

And yes, sliding in and out of blank verse is intentional.  Doesn't sound nice - good, it's not meant to.  God I love formalism.
Jamison Bell Oct 2021
Upon a place no man has stepped.
A lonely girl knelt and wept.
Her family lost, her hope as well.
She’d brought along a little bell.
She started to dig where her tears had fallen.
For she could hear her best friend callin.

Faintly was the scent of death.
From out of the dirt, she smelled her breath.
She presented the bell before the hole.
And shook it thrice to hear its toll.
Sulfuric smoke seeped from the ground.
The forest stopped and made no sound.

“Right the wrongs done to I, so that I may cease to cry.
Free them from their mortal coil, so that in hell they’ll burn and toil.”
A scream like that of a banshee ripped.
From out of the hole a fire slipped.
A winged demon emerged in sight.
Dripping hate and firelight.

From out of the burning debris and embers.
At the feet of ancient timbers.
A winged version of this lil girl.
Stretched out her wings a did a twirl.
She looked upon the moon with ire.
Swearing to one day set it afire.

“Emily, where are you dear?
Please approach and hold me near.”
Emily then, bid her welcome
“Why dear sister are your visits seldom?
Emily I’ve missed you so.
I was sad to see you go.”

“I’m so sorry Laura. Please.
I stopped along the way for these.”
Emily held out daffodils.
That she had brought down from the hills.
Laura smiled and cocked her head.
“Much like I, they’re also dead.”

Many things had lived and died.
Since they were by each other’s side.
Emily watched as her sister drowned.
She made no effort or even sound.
Laura’s death was for good reason.
Her mood was death for every season.

Emily had seen her sister ****.
Standing by and standing still.
Then there came that night now haunted.
When Emily would not be daunted.
Laura had taken Emily’s cat.
And gone outside with a bat.

Emily then chased her still.
Towards the well upon a hill.
Emily returned that night.
Laura lost, no where in sight.
She’d watched her sister drown.
She made no move, she made no sound.

The two embraced and cried in quiet.
They both did wrong and both stood by it.
"Emily your heart feels cold against my skin,
it was not like that way back when."
"It's been so dark since mother died,
father hasn't mourned or cried."

"Our mother died? Say since when.
Tell me Emily, begin again."
"Not long after I took your life,
our home became a place for strife.
The crops fell sick as did our cows,
as well as the chickens and the sows.

Our mother she neglected me,
she hung herself on our oak tree.
Then fathers friends they came right after,
they strung me up from the rafters.
One by one they had their way,
our father watched and took his pay."

Laura pulled away in awe,
uttering only "not our pa".
Emily sobbed and lowered her head.
"Our home is but a place of dread."
Laura slowly unfurled her wings.
"I will not stand for such awful things."

Her claws of black volcanic glass,
her cat like eyes let nothing pass.
Her shredded skin and fibers showing,
her thirsty fangs and eyes a glowing.
"Tell me Emily where is our father?
I'll let him be the first I bother."

"On the floor back at our stead,
with any luck already dead.
His friends are also probably there,
waiting there for me I dare.
Oh Laura dear I am afraid.
Please do not get hurt or scathed."

Emily put her knees to dirt.
"I only wish I couldn't hurt."
Laura took her sisters hand.
"Emily dear, leave this land.
Where your from you must never say.
Because for sure you'll die that day.

This is a curse I must bestow.
Because for every death there is a toll."
The sisters said goodbye once more.
Things won't be as they were before.
Laura flapped her wings to flight.
Emily walked into the night.

Laura perched upon the barn and saw.
Her fathers friends but not her Pa.
She changed her scent to that whiskey.
Then she willed away a man named Liskey.
In the barn up to the loft.
The hay was old, damp, and soft.

She waited for the drunkard there.
Her eyes aglow her body bare.
Liskey forced the girl against the joist.
Laura hung his body from the hoist.
While his friends below were sharing whiskey
Hanging high was Mr Liskey

Next there was a young man named Sam.
She made him cry like a wounded lamb.
This brought the others to the field.
She slayed them all she would not yield.
She tore their flesh and drank their blood.
She scattered their limbs into the mud.

The sun was set and about to rise.
To light upon such distant skies.
Laura made her way towards the ranch.
Stopping once to break a branch.
From off a tree her grandpa planted.
For there would be no mercy granted.

She found her Pa there in the kitchen
She raised her branch and started switchin'.
Her father awoke and screamed in wrath.
He tried to run and clear a path.
But Laura dear just kept on hitting.
He started cursing, fighting, spitting.

Her father suffered so many blows.
Just how many, no one knows.
He screamed until there was notheing left.
Not of the branch or his breath.
Laura knelt down by his side.
Unto the sun she would not abide.

Upon his cheek she pressed her lips
and traced his face with fingertips.
She took him by the legs outside,
then took him by his bleeding hide.
She lifted him with wings aloft,
he cried aloud while she just scoffed.

She stopped above her earthly tomb,
that cursed well, that demons womb.
"Father dear it's here you'll sleep,
here unto your death you'll keep."
She let him go and watched him fall,
his body slapping off the walls.

So now you know the story see.
Of our dear friend Emily.
Of what she did to be right here.
Her sins forgiven conscious clear.
I'm sure by now you surely see.
We better be nice to Emily.
tom krutilla Jul 2015
winter winds upon this land
clawing me clamy hands
the recluse in me , stems the tides
of emotions cultivated deep inside

such sentiments had warmed my soul
of future days and times of old
shall I scratch this itch, a thousand times more
or let sleeping dogs lie, never to be told

shall I stand poised on this joist
debating the reasons for choice
and hear that familiar voice
"how far is heaven" and the ultimate rejoice

no, i will let the winter winds claw at me
let it's darkess cold once again teach
that the recluse in me and all it brings
warm my soul, anticipating a new spring
Robert Gretczko Sep 2016
I alight fair maiden to bid
you good night

being sure my presence did entice
filled fully with your lust and spice

your redolent hair and lips so moist
heavy though... I lifted fully the joist

now pleasure and good moments flow readily
like an ocean of rainbows embracing me

for her now I have a place to remain
cogent and warmly ensconced in her plain  

a kiss to tidy up the last remnant of time
I'll carry  your essence now that it is mine

each step from here now will be loftier for sure
I feel it already as I pass through your door
Aye pride myself
     being sui generis
     verb hose subject for a zoologist,
cuz webbed phalanges

     branch handsomely
     from mine feet and wrist,
where perforce great expectations,
     asper the next greatest (I SCREAM)

     scoop of the month intimated,
     conducted under top secret
     controlled laboratory conditions
     with yours truly (as the de facto

     par excellence)
     rodent named "Oliver twist"
Lady Dedlock key ping
     watchful eye within bleak house,

while Thomas Gradgrind
     feigns tubby bad company
     during these hard times
     temporarily all quietest

lull on the western front
     since Donald Trump
     detente foretold by a palmist,
whereby said President

     of the United States
     feeling as an optimist
met with Kim Jong-un,
     (cautiously side stepping morass,
     viz hit blind side dare devil hoodwinking,
     via awe shucks faux bully)

     suspending noninterventionist
impact unexpectedly witnessed leader
     of North Korea as multilateralist
     on historic June 12, 2018,

     summit minus linguist,
where fist pumping in Singapore
     for unilateral negotiations
     offloading nationalism

     weighing down
     figurative chest i.e. kist
by resplendent sun, where ma lounze
     sotto voce, somber solemnly
     sober ensemble re: joist

uniting this stately isolationist,
whose approximate
      ten stone heft easy to hoist
merely sustains purposelessness

     this poem without a gist
hence if Yukon spare one
     (or more cruxes) lemme be fist
in line, though first, aye
     would need to convince thee
     this scribe doth exist!
BEING IN THE WORLD

"I'm scared...!" she sobs
"Of what love?" I cuddle her
"Of being in the world!"

**

This was when she was only a tiny little thing in the world of long ago but her words ring truer now in this rogue world of ours.

Her granny had just died and this all too too solid world of forever didn't seem as forever as it had before.  She no longer trusted it if a granny could vanish...would she vanish too?

She cried and "wanted to go where ever Granny had goed!"

She was looking at a globe and asked me if she were in the world. And is Granny not in the world any more?  And when Granny finishes being dead then will she come back? And what good is the world if Granny isn't in it. She sat on my lap and listened to auld Jemmy the Joist reading from Finnegans Wake with his own voice. I asked her what did she think the man was saying and she asked "Did he lose his granny too?"
THROUGH VERY SHORT TIMES OF SPACE

red door of No.16
North Frederick Street
slams behind him as he

enters into this newly minted
morning
sunshine so thick

one feels like a fish
swimming through it
sunlight spangles

a tiny puddle
turning it into a jewel
that only the eye can cherish

Ahhhh "...the ineluctable
modality of
the visible."

he turns right
into Upper
Dorset Street

pulling an "Ahhh...howya!"
out of the man who makes
the false teeth

then turning left into Eccles Street
giving the nod to No. 7
Bloom's house in ULYSSES

here in its run down state
though still shining
in its fictionality

soon they will knock it down
and what will the tourists
do then poor things

sure some bright spark
will rescue it from its rubble
and the door

will live again
some streets
away again

ahhh...." the ineluctable
modality of
the visible."

I go to Quinn's gym
to get my Molly
(Philomena her name is)

a cottage cheese
with pineapple
on a Weetabix base

it is a 16th of June
somewhere
in the 80's

as I retrace
my own earlier
Joycean footsteps

rat-a-tat-tat
on Bloom's door
"Are ya there Leopold?"

but the bold Leopold
doesn't answer
the 16th of

forever I am
"...walking through it
howsomever."

the sun smirks
at such
Joyceisms

"I am, a stride of a time
very short space of time
through very short times of space."

a horse and cart as if
from the past
saunters by timelessly

ahhh "...the ineluctable
modality of
the audible."

my Molly
who is really
a Philomena

spoons the deliciousness
of the creamy dessert
into her

and yes she says
mmmm...yes....mmmm
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*

Fo­r Jemmy de Joist whose day the 16th always us and the words give him their gifts. This is my little bit of living in his moment and walking the streets he walked.
(This atheist imagining, envisioning,
and adopting a religious stance
asper extra-marital prance
sing unsheathing ma lil lance.)

if wand whoosh,
     a mollified Genie could wave
     abracadabra spellbinding mine fate, aye
would rejoice beholding,
     an African Queen to stave
     more precious then
     fine spun gold (for Josephine) to buy

time against tortured Golgotha kepi
     mein kempf wracking fate, thence pave
     ving a stairway to heaven
     after this ivory pawn doth die
cleansing, exorcising, and flushing
     infidelity kindling lover misbehave
     yore (ah Jove) many
     full lush blue moons ago,

     when verboten fruit
     yours truly didst deaf fie
temptation no amount
     renouncing sin spent kneeling, this knave
     scrutinizing engravure etched with blessed
     "Jesus, bare naked Amazon Mary
     and Joseph" motif guy
interweaved by pointed

     finger of Goddess Sheba almighty
     beckoned deft fiat halting joist
     lowered nondescript plain rigid casket
     swallowed by grave
temporally ushered whirled wide
     webbed rebirth where I
received life anew breathless composure
     dousing errant fellow

     guilt honestly iterated, jackanapes
     kneaded licentious maligned narcissistic
     opprobrious philandering questing re: deprave
transgressions, whereat this gentile Jew did lie
     unclothed satisfying prurient crave
ving vitiating marital covenant, now my
     soul asylum anointed, via sedulous, glorious,
    
     and fabulous Nubian enchantress deign nigh
ying celibacy decreeing
     expurgating ****** crave
     ving, hence thy status as Zen eternal
     ****** (corny punster)

     as acceptable punishment bequeathed
     by said deliquescent, iridescent,
     and opalescent dreamt up
     "FAKE" pitch black Negroid hallucination
     from over active imagination
     me didst truly ply.
We purchased 2020 Hyundai Elantra
at Enterprise Car Rental
1207 West Ridge Pike
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania 19428
April thirteenth two thousand twenty three
witnessed greatest amount of money
I spent at one time.

The following day April 14th, 2023
(after my automotive troubles
seemed so far away),
when important business concluded at:
Pennsylvania Department of Transportation -
Photo License Center,
1700 Markley Street,
Norristown, Pennsylvania 19401.

Before somnolent vestige
completely vanished, and vanquished
post retentive grogginess dissipated
ipso facto after awakening
from dream state come true
and opening eyelids
Delilah gifted with melanin
swiftly tailored uber vestil ******
hit with hair brained scheme
to generate goldenlocks

worth gobs of green
freshly minted legal tender
despite fallout being upbraided
bald brazenness occurred
to emasculate Johnny comb lately
he experienced brush with immortality
until he almost got scalped
saved by skin of his teeth
unbeknownst to lass (see) how keen

her intended prey nicknamed Samson
worthwhile fitness expense
disciplined, coaxed, and buffed physique
to chisel, mold sculpt, et cetera
his body to become lean
said kingly chess mate pledged troth
to ebony queen,
she wedded near likeness of the boss
(doppelganger) Bruce Springsteen.

Additionally while slumbering,
I experienced close encounters
of the third kind
manifested as following visitation
linkedin and included chance encounter
with a rock-ribbed mountain of a man
(whose shaved noggin glistened)
simply known as thee ebullient B.T.,
one strapping muscular dynamic
colorful preacher

of health and positive welfare,
who strongly encouraged me
(combination aging long haired
pencil necked geek, harried styled
white tarnished knight,
teenage mutant ninja turtle,
and wunderkind wily wordsmith)
to pay him a visit
at the following LA Fitness site
2961 Swede Road,
East Norriton, Pennsylvania 19401.

Aforementioned stranger in a strange land
athletic built endowed fellow
with smooth glistening ebony skin
talked (courtesy booming inspirational voice)
an evangelical blue streak regarding
the merits of communication
heavily peppered with brotherly/sisterly love
with powerful salted spiritual undertones.

Impossible mission during wakeful state
to recreate, rehabilitate, rejuvenate,
rekindle, and resuscitate a likeness
courtesy figment of my imagination
said boisterous, gregarious, illustrious,
and rambunctious well sculpted
specimen of **** sapiens
as hinted at above.

Though no Hercules
(in fact just the antonym),
mine alter ego exaggerated,
intimated, and outlined,
a mollified Genie could blithely wave
magic wand abracadabra
spellbinding mine fate, aye
would rejoice beholding,
an African Queen to quash
celibacy, cuz declaration of consummation

stemming premature *******
more precious then
fine spun gold (for Josephine) to buy
time against tortured Golgotha kepi
mein kampf wracking fate, thence pave
ving a stairway to heaven
after this ivory pawn doth die
cleansing, exorcising, and flushing
infidelity kindling lover,
which prurient waywardness

found me to misbehave
ah bon Jove vee errant fellow
(wanted dead or alive),  
I das scribe many blue moons ago,
when verboten fruit
yours truly didst deaf fie
temptation no amount
renouncing, repenting, rerouting
travesty, mockery, and effrontery
regarding egregious transgression
excising emotional affliction

spent kneeling on wounded knee,
this besotted knave
scrutinizing indelible engravure
etched with blessed
"Jesus, bare naked Amazon Mary
and Joseph" motif guy
interweaved by pointed
finger of Goddess Sheba almighty
beckoned deft fiat halting joist
lowered nondescript plain rigid casket

swallowed by grave
temporally ushered whirled wide
webbed rebirth where I
received life anew breathless composure
dousing errant fellow
guilt honestly iterated, jackanapes
kneaded licentious maligned narcissistic
opprobrious philandering questing re: deprave
transgressions, whereat
this gentile Jew did lie
unclothed satisfying prurient flava flave

vitiating marital covenant, now my
soul asylum anointed,
via misdirected, misguided, and misjudged
sedulous, poisonous, opprobrious,
nevertheless glorious, and fabulous
Nubian enchantress deign nigh
ying celibacy decreeing
expurgating ****** crave
ving, hence thy status as Zen eternal
****** (corny punster) mocker

as acceptable punishment bequeathed
by said deliquescent, iridescent,
and opalescent dreamt up
"FAKE" pitch black
kickstarting Negroid hallucination
from over active imagination
me didst truly ply
avariciousness as Holden Caulfield
protagonist catcher in the rye.
joist is a small one
is radiating from sun
someone's bright smile, beam
be Mine ‘ like summer
we two wild!
for the joist of the sun ‘
to radiant for its glint
to revelent for its shade
like heat ‘ our souls combust
there’s fineness to our kisses
sunlight infrared by this romance
The flaming smiles of the yellow lotus , in my garden you bloom from endless knots of adversity and gloom!

You are a testimonial to
Where flowers grow so does hope , glistening in the brightest rays ,
I see peace , purity and perfection in the immenent days ,
You show me a positive path in many a beautiful ways!

Seeking your rendition to my very being ,
Oh! my divine, yellow lotus emerging from mire and mud,
Showering blessings from your octave golden joist ,
My heart is rejuvenated and I rejoice !

© M.D.Nimbakar.
#05/05/2020#
The beauty and the purity of a lotus flower is simply unbelievable...it is powerful, magnificent and pure all at once.
My garden blooms with the same and I get a positive vibe.
#Rhyming verse#
#Sacred lotus #
Even when iron not red hot,
I implement non customary quarks
regarding foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt
mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on
Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,
whose helplessness to fork over

substantial dollar figure
analogous to one of three blind mice,
who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)
with a carving knife
must pay the price
methinks food in the slammer (ha)
will lack sugar and spice,
nevertheless macht schnell trice.

I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,
whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau
(i.e. collection agency)
based in Reading, Pennsylvania
explained yours truly owed $23.21
which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively
grabbed me by the nuts
hash tagged self scoundrel
a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz

living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,
I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.
Donall Dempsey Sep 2020
I DREAMPT THAT I DWELT

"I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls
With vassals and serfs at my side"

my father would hum or sing
or da da dah'd as he sawed.

"And of all who assembled within those walls
That I was the hope and the pride."

A shining smile of nails
as he hammered the tune home.

Carpentry was for me
songs and words and stories.

Tall tales and wood shavings
from my father's "reminiscings'".

Saw dust floating in a summer
were to me atoms made visible.

I played with wood instead
of planning it.

The various tools transformed
with one imaginative leap.

Hand drill and spirit level
became Star Trek ships

attacked by a fleet
of tape measures.

Hacksaws...jigsaws were
all the one to me really.

And yes I knew that tooth spacing
and tooth shape were important in a saw.

A wavy set and milled teeth for plastic and metals.
A side set and ground tooth  for a fast clean cut with wood.

But to me they were merely the teeth
of various pterodactyls in my Harryhausen mood.

And yes I planed wood
but only to release the genie of the pine.

The scent a magic
carpet ride.

And I planed and planed
until there was nothing left

but the graceful curl of
a sea of wood shavings.

Later he would laugh
when I brought him Carroll's parody.

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
went wobble-wobble on the walls..."

Or an Orwell even...

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn't born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?"

Or auld Jimmy the Joist
and his warping words

"When you dreamt that you'd wealth
in marble arch do you ever think of pool beg slowe."

Cracking up when
Finnegans Wake'd

"... at this passing moment
by localoption in the birds' lodging,

me pheasants among,
where I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth

mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs
to my sigh hiehied,..."

"Ahhh Dónall lad yer a great one
for the books but

ya never took to the wood
it was always words words words!"

"But I also dreamt, which charmed me most
That you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same"
Or Mr. Carroll's parody .NUMBER 1: THE PALACE OF HUMBUG

I DREAMT I dwelt in marble halls, And each damp thing that
creeps and crawls Went wobble-wobble on the walls.
Faint odours of departed cheese, Blown on the dank, unwholesome
breeze, Awoke the never-ending sneeze.
Strange pictures decked the arras drear, Strange characters of woe
and fear, The humbugs of the social sphere.
One showed a vain and noisy ****, That shouted empty words and
big At him that nodded in a wig.
And one, a dotard grim and gray, Who wasteth childhood’s happy
day In work more profitless than play.
Whose icy breast no pity warms, Whose little victims sit in swarms,
And slowly sob on lower forms.
And one, a green thyme-honoured Bank, Where flowers are
growing wild and rank, Like weeds that fringe a poisoned tank.
All birds of evil omen there Flood with rich Notes the tainted air,
The witless wanderer to snare.
The fatal Notes neglected fall, No creature heeds the treacherous
call, For all those goodly Strawn Baits Pall.
The wandering phantom broke and fled, Straightway I saw within
my head A vision of a ghostly bed, Where lay two worn decrepit
2
men, The fictions of a lawyer’s pen, Who never more might breathe
again.
The serving-man of Richard Roe Wept, inarticulate with woe: She
wept, that waited on John Doe.
“Oh rouse”, I urged, “the waning sense With tales of tangled
evidence, Of suit, demurrer, and defence.”
“Vain”, she replied, “such mockeries: For morbid fancies, such as
these, No suits can suit, no plea can please.”
And bending o’er that man of straw, She cried in grief and sudden
awe, Not inappropriately, “Law!”
The well-remembered voice he knew, He smiled, he faintly
muttered “Sue!” (Her very name was legal too.)
The night was fled, the dawn was nigh:
A hurricane went raving by, And swept the Vision from mine eye.
Vanished that dim and ghostly bed, (The hangings, tape; the tape
was red:) ‘Tis o’er, and Doe and Roe are dead!
Oh, yet my spirit inly crawls, What time

Lays of Mystery, Imagination and Humour - Oxford, 1855.

Or Orwell's 1946 essay WHY I WRITE...


A happy vicar I might have been
Two hundred years ago,
To preach upon eternal doom
And watch my walnuts grow
But born, alas, in an evil time,
I missed that pleasant haven,
For the hair has grown on my upper lip
And the clergy are all clean-shaven.
And later still the times were good,
We were so easy to please,
We rocked our troubled thoughts to sleep
On the bosoms of the trees.
All ignorant we dared to own
The joys we now dissemble;
The greenfinch on the apple bough
Could make my enemies tremble.
But girls’ bellies and apricots,
Roach in a shaded stream,
Horses, ducks in flight at dawn,
All these are a dream.
It is forbidden to dream again;
We maim our joys or hide them;
Horses are made of chromium steel
And little fat men shall ride them.
I am the worm who never turned,
The ****** without a harem;
Between the priest and the commissar
I walk like Eugene Aram;
And the commissar is telling my fortune
While the radio plays,
But the priest has promised an Austin Seven,
For Duggie always pays.
I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn’t born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?

Or auld Jimmy the Joist and his warping words and he Finnegans Wake-ing ya de auld divil so he be and it morphed into Joycespeak in the "Triv & Quad" chapter...let yer ears behold the wonder.

When you dreamt that you'd wealth in marble arch do you ever think of pool beg slowe.
[264:(F2); emphasis added]

And ahhhh such avian wordplay!

... at this passing moment by localoption in the birds' lodging, me pheasants among, where I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs to my sigh hiehied,...

(449:17)
Look at the very edges of yourself

the wall studs that have always been sturdy
from corner stud to corner stud you have been built well               you are made to fit

each end joist, brace and girder right where they must be
you are harmony and beauty just as you are

Look at yourself every edge constructed with purpose       and the space left in
between purposeful, too
Steely Dan sing queen (me)
outdid himself on sixtieth anniversary
after Grahame Wood
determined to meet
the evolving needs of the community
opened the first Wawa Food Market
in Folsom, PA, on April 16, 1964.

Today marked the sixth decade
since George Wood started
the Wawa dairy in 1902,
and it quickly became
a trusted name for fresh,
quality dairy.

As an unsung Patrons of said store,
I strove to achieve mitzvah
for an incapacitated wheelchair bound
resident here at Highland Manor Apartments.

The fickle finger (hut) of fate
unknowingly planned to liquidate
honest to dog sincere intentions
to deliver said drinkable goods
(you can bet your bottom dollar)
on his sterling promise
never foreseeing disastrous
misadventure out ranking
starry eyed bespectacled klutz
comprising the heart of this poem at any rate
(nitty gritty details omitted),
but essentially and summarily
spilled contents from three
twenty ounce cups of hotly perked coffee    
scalding himself in the process,
where epithets spewed
inadequately served at X-rate.

I asked him if he liked coffee
cuz today aforementioned vendor
acknowledged the brainchild
offering buzzfeeding caffeinated brew free
American chain of convenience stores
and gas stations originating
in the Philadelphia metropolitan area,
and now located along the East Coast
of the United States,
operating in Pennsylvania, New Jersey,
Delaware, Maryland, Virginia,
Washington, D.C., and Florida.

The remaining lines of this reasonable rhyme
garnered courtesy an endeavor
attempted quite some years ago
attempt bordering on the ridiculous to the sublime.

Even when iron not red hot,
I implement non customary quirks
regarding going for broke into survivor mode  
asia foreigner rather cold as ice
namely delinquent outsize credit card debt
mandates yours truly,
a cheesy survivor who rem: members
putting freeze on
Citizens Bank World MasterCard accounts,
whose helplessness to fork over

substantial dollar figure
analogous to one of three blind mice,
who ran after the farmer's wife
She cut off tails (OUCH!)
with a carving knife
must pay the price
methinks food in the slammer (ha)
will lack sugar and spice,
nevertheless macht schnell trice.

I exhaled deep sigh of relief
after speaking over the telephone,
whereby Arcadia Recovery Bureau
(i.e. collection agency)
based in Reading, Pennsylvania
explained yours truly owed $23.21
which considerably alleviated
immediate dire straits that figuratively
grabbed me by the nuts
hash tagged self scoundrel
a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz

living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,
I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop
whereby the hypothetical proprietor
willing, ready able to tear out my guts.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.
Donall Dempsey Sep 2023
I DREAMPT THAT I DWELT

"I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls
With vassals and serfs at my side"

my father would hum or sing
or da da dah'd as he sawed.

"And of all who assembled within those walls
That I was the hope and the pride."

A shining smile of nails
as he hammered the tune home.

Carpentry was for me
songs and words and stories.

Tall tales and wood shavings
from my father's "reminiscings'".

Saw dust floating in a summer
were to me atoms made visible.

I played with wood instead
of planning it.

The various tools transformed
with one imaginative leap.

Hand drill and spirit level
became Star Trek ships

attacked by a fleet
of tape measures.

Hacksaws...jigsaws were
all the one to me really.

And yes I knew that tooth spacing
and tooth shape were important in a saw.

A wavy set and milled teeth for plastic and metals.
A side set and ground tooth  for a fast clean cut with wood.

But to me they were merely the teeth
of various pterodactyls in my Harryhausen mood.

And yes I planed wood
but only to release the genie of the pine.

The scent a magic
carpet ride.

And I planed and planed
until there was nothing left

but the graceful curl of
a sea of wood shavings.

Later he would laugh
when I brought him Carroll's parody.

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
went wobble-wobble on the walls..."

Or an Orwell even...

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn't born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?"

Or auld Jimmy the Joist
and his warping words

"When you dreamt that you'd wealth
in marble arch do you ever think of pool beg slowe."

Cracking up when
Finnegans Wake'd

"... at this passing moment
by localoption in the birds' lodging,

me pheasants among,
where I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth

mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs
to my sigh hiehied,..."

"Ahhh Dónall lad yer a great one
for the books but

ya never took to the wood
it was always words words words!"

"But I also dreamt, which charmed me most
That you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same"
I DREAMPT THAT I DWELT

"I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls
With vassals and serfs at my side"

my father would hum or sing
or da da dah'd as he sawed.

"And of all who assembled within those walls
That I was the hope and the pride."

A shining smile of nails
as he hammered the tune home.

Carpentry was for me
songs and words and stories.

Tall tales and wood shavings
from my father's "reminiscings'".

Saw dust floating in a summer
were to me atoms made visible.

I played with wood instead
of planning it.

The various tools transformed
with one imaginative leap.

Hand drill and spirit level
became Star Trek ships

attacked by a fleet
of tape measures.

Hacksaws...jigsaws were
all the one to me really.

And yes I knew that tooth spacing
and tooth shape were important in a saw.

A wavy set and milled teeth for plastic and metals.
A side set and ground tooth for a fast clean cut with wood.

But to me they were merely the teeth
of various pterodactyls in my Harryhausen mood.

And yes I planed wood
but only to release the genie of the pine.

The scent a magic
carpet ride.

And I planed and planed
until there was nothing left

but the graceful curl of
a sea of wood shavings.

Later he would laugh
when I brought him Carroll's parody.

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
went wobble-wobble on the walls..."

Or an Orwell even...

"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn't born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?"

Or auld Jimmy the Joist
and his warping words

"When you dreamt that you'd wealth
in marble arch do you ever think of pool beg slowe."

Cracking up when
Finnegans Wake'd

"... at this passing moment
by localoption in the birds' lodging,

me pheasants among,
where I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth

mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs
to my sigh hiehied,..."

"Ahhh Dónall lad yer a great one
for the books but

ya never took to the wood
it was always words words words!"

"But I also dreamt, which charmed me most
That you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same
That you loved me, you loved me still the same"
(even when iron not hot, but rather cold as ice)

Yours truly a day late dollar short
dollars to donuts bonafide klutz
living ****** mint procreative
seminal squirt biological reproduction,
could never conceive to abort
despite countless occasions,

I blithely admit characteristics
linkedin with being a putz
going off rails as a one man train wreck
mine impossible mission to avoid
NOT running amok imagine
bull in a china shop.

Pigeon toed, I trip over me own little feet
size nine shoe small size for grown man
leaving utter disaster in his wake
synonymous when havoc strikes
chaos theory alive and well
ensues when I walk about
and dare take even one baby step.

Ever since adept with ability to crawl,
I ofttimes tumbled down the stairs,
but never did shed tears nor bawl
e'en when taking nosedive head first did fall
out the hatch of airplane

splattered, plastered, and matted
think suddenly feeling comfortably numb
joist another brick in wall
nevertheless acquiring stunt man role
paid big bucks

as **** sapien disguised as Sasquatch
(cause unkempt harried styled hair)
more times than I can remember
fell to Earth minus parachute,
which hoop fully explains

the incomprehensible drawl
earnestly and frankly harkening language
once extant within Gaul
which reverberated inside hall
of mountain (lionized) king.

Prior to any madcap misadventure
yours truly envisions his clumsiness
plays out within my third eye blind
hilarious scenario unfolds in slow motion
whereby accidental flick of wrist,
barely brushes up against
flimsy clothes rack

(the original motive begetting poem)
knee **** involuntary reaction,
kicking obstacle clear across Compton
generating comical feedback loop
impossible mission to stop
blockchain of fateful bitcoin events.

Living amidst (amongst) disarray
courtesy the missus, whose domestic habits
never merit housekeeping seal of approval
twenty four/seven pose
a hazard to mine existence.

— The End —