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Hg Aug 2018
from the rose under her nose
a cloud of smoke made its escape

**** girl where you from, i asked
planet of the vapes?

a slow and hateful eye roll
traveled across the room

your jokes are the worst you know
you’re lucky that you’re cute
©Hg
writerReader May 2015
Saguaro cactus
why do you ***** me with spikes
It hurts very bad
Jordan Hudson Sep 2018
Look over there, who made that sound
Flames shooting, revving up to that rhythm
Check that out, who's gonna win this ground
Think you could use that algorithm
Power, sound, looks and all
Makes a car what it's worth here
Take over lots at the mall
Race each other, like a road buccaneer
Keep up with the V6 that could
Go to the end of that neighborhood
Rice uncooked can never go far
You'll blow your engine in your fake tuner car
Lose your license before next meet
Enjoy riding in the baby's car seat
You drive like an old man or soccer mom lost in her van
Or a school bus driver on icy roads or a dino driving cave man
Could you go a little faster, I have a short attention span
Seriously, you have got to be kidding me
The gas pedal is the one on the right
I'm not trying to sit here and drink a cup of tea
I'm trying to get going and get back home tonight
How could one be this freaking slow
Is this some kind of really annoying joke
I can't take this anymore, just get me home
Let's move, faster than this
Let's go, accelerate already
You aren't dismissed
There is a speed limit, just keep it faster but steady
My old granny can drive faster this, stick to the
plan, get ready
How about you drive like a businessman
That is late to work driving to New York
Office job with a bossy manager fatter than pork
Who sits at her desk with a beef patty stuck on her fork
Give it up and stuff her mouth with a old nasty cork (aye, aye, aye, aye)
Keeps on eating every single day, she would be the one to bring down Santa's sleigh midway to West Coast bay to deliver some kids toys with so much delay that he cries as he looks up in the sky while Santa isn't there yet with his supply but if you magnify the sky you can still see him all the way in Shanghai all because of this fatty bringing down a sleigh, make way for this large celestial body as it crash lands upon the new airports runway
Look over there, who made that sound
Flames shooting, revving up to that rhythm
Check that out, who's gonna win this ground
Think you could use that algorithm
Power, sound, looks and all
Makes a car what it's worth here
Take over lots at the mall
Race each other, like a road buccaneer
Keep up with the V6 that could
Go to end of that neighborhood
Rice uncooked can never go far
You'll blow your engine in your fake tuner car
Lose your license before next meet
Enjoy riding in your babies seat
Flames shooting, revving up to that rhythm
Check that out, who's gonna win this ground
Think you could use that algorithm
Power, sound, looks and all
Makes a car what it's worth here
Take over lots at the mall
Race each other, like a road buccaneer
Keep up with the V6 that could
Go to end of that neighborhood
Rice uncooked can never go far
You'll blow your engine in your fake tuner car
Lose your license before next meet
Enjoy riding in the babies car seat
About car meets and Christmas, just a big joke poem
Paul Hansford May 2016
... and this one isn't.


They were going to start a new life,
childhood sweethearts become man and wife.
But a drunken stag-night
ended up in a fight,
and someone had taken a knife.
s Nov 2018
Egg
you sit on my back
like a chicken on an egg
with a mocking flap,
shuffle and a wiggle
tucked and stacked -
chuckle and a giggle.
both - joke and cuddle
- die as they're written though;
but could I risk to memory -
forgetting that tableau ?
--

as I sit to study
our curiosities -
creating patterns & poems
of contradicting absurdities;
listening to the jugalbandi
of predictability & tease,
instigating the battle
between curiosity & belief,
how we manoeuver differences
with a pursued kind of ease -
love sits quiet,
amused but revealed,
its appetite appeased -
with a wholesome kind of meal.

There is no love in my life
No one to hug and hold tight...


-

I don't feel that presence
To know they'll be there
I'm not warm and secure
By somebody who cares

-

I am empty; alone
Only hollow inside
On my face show a smile
But just want to cry
I am trapped in a cage
My one wish; To be free
Can't escape my own skin
Life's a joke played on me
Written: October 4, 2018

All rights reserved.
[Iambic/Anapestic Trimeter then Anapestic Tetrameter format]
Ruth Cardenas May 2015
I sometimes find it crazy.
That you Love someone like me.
When every inch is broken.
From my nose down to my feet.

You tell me that I'm beautiful.
But I find it hard to see.
I only long for better.
In the things that make me, me

I wish I loved this girl.
I don't like the way I am.
Could I make it go away?
Could I help you understand?

My dear Love please don't worry , though.
Because one day I will see.
The beauty in this thunderstorm.
And the beauty you find in me.
Ago
I fell in love
Her voice cracked and
I heard my own
Crack

Open
I exploded in
To a story I knew
Was hers and mine
Too

Evie
Led me along
A time and a dream
Riches to rags
Back
Aching
For
Her
...
Did
You Get
The
...
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3306594/rivals/
"Never jump into the **** of Elk horn sideways,
              it'll make you ***** and chiropractors can't fix that!"

You know cause your back will have to contort to fit inside an ****?
Some people,
write from the heart

While others
still, write from life

Still, others
do, think-out first

Yet to,
some, the world; joke.

The World is a Joke.

The Heart,
is emotion,

The World is a Joke.

Are you Laughing?

or,

...are you,

Writing?
Rafael Melendez Dec 2018
I wouldn't call death a real comedian, more of a two bit clown. He rehearses the same punchline at your doorstep each day.
"life is a joke, so I'll take it away fellas."
Don't take it so seriously.
Did you just call me ****?
How blind could you be?
Don't you know that I got God inside of me?
Tell me dear....
So, full of pride and so focused on your youthful looks.
How much makeup?
How much pride?
How many people?
Will be at your side,
When you close your eyes for the last time.
Tried to be **** at times myself.
Those ideas blew up in my face.
Got a lot of regret debts
anchored down in the valleys of the wrinkles on my face.
Did you know I used to have abs?
Not anymore.
One day I heard my stomach having a private conversation,
with gravity.
Gravity said, 'Winning!'
Took my abs away.
Gave me arthritis and a fever in its place.
I **** so much.
I swear someone has a gun to my ***.
It is so ****** up,
when the pistol starts to cry and laugh.
I need a walker most of the time.
I guess the only crime I committed was staying alive.
Yeah, I am old.
So, what! I made it this far.
Take your *** on and be thankful for who you are.
You don't know how good you got it.
You can still get around,
Without leaving fun size Hersey bars behind on the ground.
'Hey, old dude, what Hersey bars are you referring to you?  The thing I see behind you are chocolate bars,
With corn toppings.
The old man starts to laugh.
The young lady says, 'Do you mean to tell me that you *******, while you were talking to me this whole time?
The young lady began to puke.
'Baby, I didn't **** on myself. My *** did all the work. I haven't been able to control my bladder for a few months now. Here is a tissue for your mouth though?'
'Did you just hand me your depends?' The young lady said.
'Yep! These Depends never judge me and makes me feel very special.'
The young lady walks away, as she continues to puke.
The old guy says, 'She is so slow. I thought that she would have given me my Depends diaper back.
'Uh oh! What am I going to doo-do in now? That girl stole my Depends!

(C) Copyrighted
A poem on aging.
"Always remember in a **** measuring contest the only people satisfied by the outcome are the two men playing with their *****."
r m Sep 2016
around the dead of night and birth of day
we were naked under chlorine-med water
at the bed where eyes were watching you
asked what gift to give
and i declined every offer
until you joked of kisses
and my face turned sour

and then you asked
why it would just be
him, him, him

and then i answered
because, because, because
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