Dear Adam,
Guess what?
All I have of you is an iPod.
It's filled with your songs
It's filled with your thoughts.

I was in your room
i peered insid a box
I was hoping to find something
but you didn't keep much
Not your ****
or your pipe
or your old secrets

I don't understand maybe we wanted to keep it.
I see nothing of you
this is not your room
you didn't live here, I can't tell
It smells like you and your picture is all over
Your blue painted walls
the room is getting older,
There was a bag of razor blades but I don't know what they're form.
I felt kind o awkward in there sitting with your mom
maybe i wanted to kiss you
before you left
or tell you  you were cute
you knew nothing of my heart
and I knew so much from yours
Im torn.
Being in this room makes me squirm and feel all wrong
you left us in the middle
of a new found fairy tale.

You were no prince and I was no princess
but I didn't want that all quite yet.
I wanted you to know, all the things I wrote ini my heart
but you being here to hold my hand and ill say thats a start.


Sometimes I think you'll come around
you'll say you didn't go
you'll say you panicked and got lost
but really it was a joke.
I know its not true
I know I'll never see you
They found your body
They found your car
you were still hot
because you went so far.

now I'm here with your ashes in my bag,
feeling absolutely mad
knowing that I didn't help,
that you cried for me and I couldn't do
what i needed to.

You are gone and i am here,
Ill spead you out here and there.
your dust will flow for a thousand miles
ill float you in the sea
ill flow you in my favorite rose bush
and under your planted tree.

It's funny how it ends so fast,
how people can be gone.
How drugs can make your mind possessed by heartless hopeless thoughts.

It's wired how I can't hold you,
or tell you how I feel.
I wish i could have yelled at you enough for you to stay here...

How do I face this madness
How do I face the fool
A heart so full of sadness
My heart goes out to you

Can you hear me crying insid e
Do tears fill up the swell
A timing of a sorrow
A failing of the rules  

No thought amongst the people
They see the happy you
No trouble from their faces
My looks a different view

Whenj he shaikd I wasd not normilo I sad .
Feel insid I nit cirroct, thes maks me seddingtew
The bigg men ssai no tome, I lik deck en mi battem’
Wen je sai I soo sed I cri evy dai of aprel.

Wun dai I weas sed I mad mislef dei of rabbes
Wen I med dog hee *** do sed wot I dei
Hee tel me to no bee dei anymooor
Bow I em fin adn a shappy preson.

The halls are always far too silent
never loud enough to shadow the whispers
of those hisses that lash from her keepers tongues.
Always too clearly can she hear the smothered scorns
that whip out from lips of lustful dream
misled by promises holding only truth in lies
The mouths of these watchfuls only coated with
desire of a sweeter kind of life.

Scuffle through halls
feet limp across the earth
Every room locked from the insid
a medal **** clicks all but a warning before
the room full of what is never known
would swallow these halls
that are aimlessly wandered.
The only wall left to guard the secrets
would be swamped with the hidden
of what might be best locked away.
Yet when that day surfaces
that the rooms fill and the things on the inside
ooze through the creases of the doors
when the halls of this house are no longer empty
and the rooms once filled consume this home.

*What will be left in her mind?

Sometimes I wonder why i am here
Sometimes I wonder if anyone really cares
I am sick of having to be strong, brave
I just want to scream until my vocal chords snap, until i am blue in the face

What is wrong with the human race?
Treating others likes **** because they are different, because you dont understand?
Telling children they are going to hell over who they love
Who the **** are you to judge?

I know what it is like to be on the outside
To have to face all this ignorance and hate
Sometimes i just want to give up
I look at the scars on my wrist and think, "Just a little deeper this time, and it will all be over"
Maybe then i can finally be happy, be free

Like a bird in a cage, i just want to feel free of this burden called life
I put up a smiling face and say im fine
Nobody sees the pain that i hide
They dont see all the tears i have cried, or all of the fears building up insid me

Im always so alone
Nobody understands

I just want to be free.

we live insid
the circle of time
deep inside the
sacred ghost dance
where death has
no place to hide