"ijust" poems
iN & Out Of Rehab
iRelapse
Then Collapse
iNever
Commited To Sober Living So Why Are People Tripping?
Drug Programs
Are A Waste According To My Case.
im Never Going to Stop
unless i O.D And Drop
But Even iN Heaven Thats iF iRise.
With the Angel
imma Continue Tweaking Cause iM A ****** Tweaker
Or iN Hell With Fallen Angels.
It'll Be Better,
Since iSold My Soul To The Devil.
He Never Asked
iJust Gave iT Up.
iFell iN Love With A stimulant Drug made up Of Chemicals ****** Poison But idgaf il Keep Dosing.
Went From Snorting To Smoking
Methamphetamine
iLet iT Get The Best Of Me.
Part 2
Out & iN
2014 iTs Krazie
iM Back To This Dope ****
Its been Already 4 years and
Im still Addicted.
In & Out
Of Rehabs, Different Drug Programs and Sad That iStill
Havnt learned ****
Got Out November 19 2014 For The 3rd Time
And im Still Twisting, Getting Lit
Ilove Living Twisted
Im on a comedown
Im irrated right now wanting to take
Another hit.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
I'm Feining For A Dose of
Methamphetamine.
I Know I Have successful Sobriety Days.
But My Thoughts Are Overwhelming Me Heavily.
And What Best Knowing iCan Take A Hit And Forget Everything. I'm Feeling So Low,
Drowning My Self in Guilt And Sorrow. Yes I Know Its Effects Arnt Forever lasting .
But My Heads pounding iJust Want To Feel The **** Flow Blast in.
How Long? How Strong?
Will I Give in or Will Reality Kick quick Which Do You Predict?
Scan Through My History,
Sadning Because My Minds Weak And Would Rather Tweak
Than Go Through it how I'm Supposed to.
Wouldn't Be The First time,
More Like it's the only option
I tend to want to see.
Because of what it brings,
An Easy Solution That will have me Loving its fascinating Pollution.
Deep in me I really don't want to abuse this,
But When I Feel So hopeless
My Mind blinds me on purpose
to reach the Dope Switch
And instantly want to turn to the substance
and use to get high to cope with.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 3:29 AM UTC
So Yeah
iFucked With Tweak Again.
How Have iBeen Getting On One? Night Time.
When Everyones Asleep,
***** Major.
My Mind Was Just Beginning
To Sort Out.
iJust Stopped The Process.
By Me Tweaking At Night ?
iM ******* With My Head Again
Still Paranoid Worsening iT.
iDidnt Enjoy iT ,
But **** Have iBeen Getting High(: iMissed iTs Feeling, iTs So Pure And Dreamy <3
No Wonder iLove iT, Began Reminiscing Deep About iT ^___^ Remembering Why iT iS iSay DopeLove <3$:.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 3:04 PM UTC
iJust Want To Escape From Reality once again.
Heartfull of Pain, Pipe Full of Magic
Im Having So Many
Racing Thoughts, wild emotions zoning i feel like
Im losing it Again, iwant Outs at this moment i want to
Scream **** THIS" And Run Away again. Icant cope
With this, its too much iwant to feel numb and forget.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 8:57 PM UTC
**** *** Am iDoing
Making This Worse For My Self
iJust Begun
And Re Picked Up
This iS Were iT Starts.
Should Begin To Worry
iTs Way To Early!
Already On A Thin Line The Last Chapter iN My Life
till My Death Story.
iM Killing Me Slowly
By Taking This Substance.
My Times Ticking
My Hearts Beating
As iContinue To Use
More Like Abuse.
iCant Just Take
1 Line Or Smoke 1 Bowl
And Save The Rest.
iGo All About And Have To Do Every Last Bit.
Then iGo On Again To Finding A Way To Get More Of it
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 3:03 PM UTC
iF iRelapse.
Baby Just Know, iOnly love You.
The Drug Will make me go Crazy & Lie Saying iLove iT
More Than You. My Slip Will Turn me Half Way Back To my
Old Ways.
Wicked Mentality & Heartless self, Numbed Out, Emotionless
Painless And Careless.
Nomatter the Relapse and reactions Ijust Want you to know
Il forever love you more.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 5:52 AM UTC
iLove Him
iReally Do, Lately ive Been Having Nothing To Do.
Remembering How i'd Spend Much Time With Him
Cuddle, Talk, Movies, Go Places
Now its Like
Ilay in Bed All Day Waiting For Him impatiently to come home
I Got So used To
Being With him 24/7
Now we're Almost apart All Day
Went From All Day
To 3 hrs
Alone All Day, is Driving me insane
Loneliness is the replacement
iLove Him
iTruly Do
But Lately, ive Been Having Nothing T o Do
The Emptyness Between the
Hours seems To Be Slowly Drifting me Away..
Its not that i want to
Ijust dont know
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 23, 2014 at 1:21 AM UTC
iTurned 17 Today.
Never imagined id make it this far.
iTs A Blessing.
iN Every Journal iHave, ive mentioned i wouldn't make it to this age. Would Have Died
Off An Overdose, Gun Shots or Stab.
But im Here, iJust Came in
from The Adorable Party my neighbor Threw me, out of every one
iWas First To Go in.
iTs late night, iM 17 And iM About To Get High, Got The Pipe
And the Bic Ready to light and twist
Find This Disgusting and
Sick. about to begin another year to this dope ****
Started At 14, Now im Heading towards Another sad year.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 3:44 AM UTC
i Genuinely Just Cant Cope
With Recovery
iTurn into This Tearful pathetic
Mess and get more
depressed.
Krazie How One Thing
Can Change Your llife Forever
iTs Like iKnow All The Right
Things to do
To maintain sober
Ijust cant apply them To myself
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 3:50 PM UTC
Why iS iT So Hard?
iJust Want To Drop iT All. The Past
And The Sickening
Memories. My addictive mind
Cause iReminice About
It heavily.
Every day, every second iThink
About it
Just Crosses My mind not intentionally.
When iM Sad And Blue Racing Thoughts Start running
To me.
The High Life Part begins to trigger
Me, flashbacks
Of How it all was, twacked out
Plays nonstop
Im maintaing my sobriety but im
Worried my
Manipulative side mentality blinds me.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 6:50 PM UTC
Am iReally Done With This vicious
Death Cycle? Or
Will it Still Continue As My Sad Lonely Days Get Longer. iDk About it
iDont Plan To Relapse
But My Emotions And negative thoughts Are 1 of my triggers & There Getting Stonger, idont want to continue being a failure.
iJust Want to have the full power to battle All my frustration
And anger. To Help lower my depression and blue feels. iJust Hope iDont Fall, im tired of
Living The Addict life
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 3:51 AM UTC