We went to the woods for a picnic
That girl was such a nitwit
She promised a lot
But all I got
Was a peck on the cheek and a biscuit

Her parents went to Rhyll
To me that sounded brill
I went to her place
All prepared (just in case)
And fed the budgie some trill

I said I've fallen for ya
Let's cuddle in the corner
She said that's nice
But tonight I might
Practise my recorder

She said it's good to share
I said I'm with you there
Then I was led
To a single bed
And loaned a teddy bear

I did my best to please her
But she was just a teaser
My money spent
My patience went
So it was time to leave her

There was an Old Man of Japan
Whose lim-er-icks never would scan;
When they said, "What the fu?" he replied, "They're haiku!"
That Irish Old Man of Japan.

Another **** cigarette, feeling so wet
Caught in a net, Gladiator's last breath
Tridents and dents in your new car
Near, far, doesnt matter
Brain matter, grey spatter, 5.56
Pick up sticks, count ya licks
Feeling the icks, throw up tricks
Different clicks, different hips
Moving close, open up, close lips
Brand new rose, toes on sand
Feeling like a brand new man
Got nothing to put in a rubber band
Earn my meals with my right hand
Fog and smog and bog down
Pill down pharmaceutical pantyhose
Purple, the color purple, royal purple
Jalapenos and hot sauce on ya waffles
Syrup hot

You might outcast us,
and trap us,
but we shine bright,
like a great light,
And in identities, we are not alike.

Scared of a man,
Me and my clan,
Why would I be a fan?
Ideas just ran,

Hello dear friends,
We reached dead ends,
With emotions misspends,
Curing heart rends.

Now we fix,
Building bricks,
Houses with no tricks,
Realisation finally kicks,
We now live in icks,

HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AT THE RIGHT TIME

the clock shaves off
another bit of time
tick by tick by tick

it doesn't give a tock
a patina of time
covers the dusty ornaments

the eaves drip
Nature's clock
I measure time

by how long it takes
the cuckoo's voice
to travel

from the background
to the foreground of this
storm tossed morning

I feel myself as if I am
the personal measurement
of boredom

a fly lands
on a bishop's mitre
washes its hands

assiduously
then buzzes off
in case it catches religion

the chess pieces
resume
their silences

I feel like a female mammoth
frozen
in a block of ice

Time refuses
to move on
sti...sti...ICKS

my husband
plays chess
with himself

can never tell whether
he's winning or losing
"I'm a Gemini..!"

he explains.
like duh
"I'm just a poor little Cancer!"

he is beating
himself up
about beating himself

I watch him move from
one side of the table to
the other

like a Buster Keaton movie
an eyelid twitches but
is instantly repressed

the eyebrow
about to be
raised...instantly isn't

he is a bad loser
even
to himself

a hand raises a King
and a Queen
is taken

his lips
a taut straight line
displays no emotion

I am only wearing
a thong
getting goosebumps

I chew a Swano 4906
bitten to shreds
"Five...I said...five letters!"

loudly just to annoy him
beginning with an O and
ending with OP

"Stowed cables
below water line!"
what kind of clue is that!

I haven't got a clue
"Harold honey!"
I yell

"Orlop!"
he grunts
"Orlop deck!"

never taking his eye off
of his other self
watching his every move

"Who would have
thought..."
I think to myself

"That *** and money
could become so
boring!"

a pillowcase on the line
***** for help
it has lost a peg

holding on by a peg
the wind makes it pregnant
its belly billows

it swells
and takes off
like a ship setting sail

jumps over the wall
chasing its own
horizon

"Me an' all!"
I thank it
for the tip

decide to leave
Harold honey
by Tuesday...at the latest

calculus battle clue 6 down
“tanquam ex ungue leonem”
N E W T O N I fill it in - done it

HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AT THE RIGHT TIME

The clock shaves off
another bit of time

tick by tick by tick
it doesn't give a tock.

A patina of time
covers the dusty ornaments.

The eaves drip.
Nature's clock.

I measure time
by how long it takes

the cuckoo's voice
to travel

from the background
to the foreground

of this storm
tossed morning.

I feel myself as
if I am

the personal measurement
of boredom.

A fly lands
on a bishop's mitre.

Washes its hands
assiduously.

Then buzzes off
in case it catches religion.

The chess pieces
resume their silences.

I feel like a female mammoth
frozen in a block of ice.

Time refuses to move on
sti...sti...ICKS.

My husband plays chess
with himself.

Can never tell whether
he's winning or losing.

"I'm a Gemini..!"
he explains.

Like duh.
"I'm just a poor little Cancer!"

He is beating himself up
about beating himself.

I watch him move from
one side of the table to

the other
like a Buster Keaton movie.

An eyelid twitches but
is instantly repressed.

The eyebrow about to be
raised...instantly isn't,

He is a bad loser.
Even to himself.

A hand raises a King
and a Queen is taken.

His lips
a taut straight line.

I am only wearing a thong.
Getting goosebumps.

I chew a Swano 4906.
Bitten to shreds.

"Five...I said...five letters!"
Loudly just to annoy him

Beginning with an O and
ending with OP.

"Stowed cables
below water line!"

What kind of clue is that!
I haven't got a clue.

"Harold honey!"
I yell.

"Orlop!"
he grunts.
"Orlop deck!"

Never taking his eye off
of his other self.

"Who would have thought..."
I think to myself.

"That *** and money
could become boring!"

A pillowcase on the line
***** for help.

It has lost a peg
Holding on by a peg.

The wind makes it pregnant.
Its belly billows.

It swells and takes off
like a ship setting sail.

Jumps over the wall
chasing an horizon.

"Me an' all!"
I thank it for the tip.

Decide to leave
Harold honey

by Tuesday
at the latest.