"hangups" poems
When I saw her
The first woman with the first wide eyes
Bright and light and dark and deep
With life and mystery
My heart beat like the first hand struck the first drum
And the first song was sung
In dark caves of ten times ten thousand years ago
When I first breathed that first scent
My sight stopped
My mind stopped
My mind was my body and my hands and my gut
And my legs extending to the ground and the earth and time
And it slowed down like an ice age beginning
Then it melted into warm fire
Where it burned
The first touch of the first woman
Was electrical chemical radioactive bliss
Every piece of matter in me wanted to move and dance and shake and fly apart
The spark from the start of her heart beat
Crossed through the fibers and
Traveled down the pathways of her body
Down the chemical electric synapses
Through her arm and jumped across to my hand
And traveled up and started a new beat
It was a faster, and stronger beat
And it beat
And it beat
Like the first dance,
Shook with the slap and smack of ground and hands and feet
Oh the first woman was all women
And then there were other women
And they were people
Flesh and blood
And minds and thoughts
And feelings that I could not feel
Good and bad and indifferent
With hangups and problems
Blemishes and baggage
I met women coming
Women going
Here and there
Now and then
For coffee, for beer,
One evening or ten
I met scientists, nurses
bartenders and baristas.
Living lives I didn't mind
Giving time when it was mine
Asking for things I couldn't find
Then I saw You
All of you
In time and space and speed
I caught the scent of you
Your fragrance and perfume
And the primal musk of you
That fatal lusts allure
I felt you
The gravity of your body from across the room
Your electro-magnetic force pulling
Pressure of the displaced particles pushing
As you walked so slowly towards me
And time stopped
Light and sound and movement were captured
Captive to your hypnotic sway
Prisoner to your power over my perception
You moved through the still air
And it swept aside like a curtain as you passed
The world was quiet
And then it pounded
The pressure of it filled the air and everything around it
As you moved closer,
Like ride of the Valkyries
Rising and crashing in waves
It rose as you moved towards me
You carried it in your wake
And then it was a crescendo
A vast overpowering transcendent orchestral cacophony
Of immense intense sound and light and energy erupting
Cymbals crashed and horns blew and strings snapped under the pressure of the vibrations
Brilliant fireworks exploded in the black sky of your brown eyes
As you stopped a few feet from me
And time was stopped
You were the first woman
You were all women
You are
The only woman
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 1:03 AM UTC
vapour locked
her vacant eyes looking
up at the falling stars
at the laughing cowgirl riding a
rocket to the moon
a hero to her generation
a pin up girl flashing a bit of skin
but the intent is betrayed by the feeling
that this endless road has consequences
she wanders the shopping mall of our world
with a loose credit card
as her only symbol of belonging
as her only connection to humanity
guard your purchases against theft
guard your heart against pilfering
but she just looks through you with
a dazzled distraction
that defies definition
she's happier there than most of us
are here
a white picket fence
surrounds the ruins that she picks through
the rubble of her thoughts in a scattered pile
while the tatters of her former life
now decorate the walls of a fools parade
now is the poster child of the loosing war
but she endures the winter rain
and stacks the broken bricks of her former world
neatly into the categories she was shown
as a child
and that's all she wants to return to
the innocence of childhood
no complexity's
no hangups
vapour locked into the
moment she escaped all the things
she thought
and the things she almost but not quit felt
when her man came round
trying to convince herself that
if she fakes it long enough
she be happy someday
playin the housewife and mother
playin the well adjusted and smiling face
she has plastered on every morning for twenty two years
but in her heart
she's with that cowgirl
riding rocket to the moon
and kissing all the girls
kissing all the girls
then she'd be happy
and in her heart she knows it
so why is she lingering here ill never know
ill never know
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 7:55 PM UTC
Have we yet captured the schemes of our misfortune
A solace granted to us, picketed by our tedious hangups
Oh lost have we been
Wondering the labyrinths halls
Each time we find our steps take us no further
Our stagger is broken
By a light projecting life outside the hallways walls
While envy flaunts it's final solutions
In loo of a future we are attempting to grasp
Our steps move us further once again
Now, just as forgotten times before
Do I see that the peaces of our scheme
Are collected gradually over time
and my mind is the cage for their housing
The fragments are fluid and known
To our past selves on a distant day
But now I live life again from a stance of their recall
While at the same time tempted
To step back to the labyrinths halls
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 11:18 PM UTC
Tony and Gpa were driving down Blue Lakes when they were approaching a construction site. The work had been going on for some time but today it was really a mess. Tony said, “why do they make such a mess of the ground grandpa? It looks really bad.” Inspiration hit me. Relate this messy lot to life.
“Sometimes things have to look really bad before it can be make into something beautiful and useful. A piece of canvas can be laying around for years, ***** a mess and then someone picks it up, cleans it off to discover it will work perfectly for a painting. The spots are covered and the artist begins the first brush strokes. Soon, what was ***** and no value to anyone becomes a wonderful work of art by the masters hand. ”
“It is much like people. They can be ***** and broken, look a mess because of drug use, not living right.”
“God can pick them up, clean them off and begin painting a beautiful picture. Where once was a disaster now it beauty.”
Granted, the above is a little more but not much more, than what gpa said to Tony that day. The italic was added when gpa wrote this.
Anger, envy, strife, and unforgiveness ( your choice here) can soil the canvas of life. Words said in anger can never be taken back. All the other hurts and hangups in life can dissolve into the background when forgiveness is granted and accepted.
Forgiveness can cover many a stain and when the light reflects off our picture only the beauty of forgiveness reaches out to others. I know many forgiven people. Beautiful people.
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011 at 6:06 PM UTC
Just a few hangups last night
Couple missteps here & there
none too noticeable, I believe
sealed stayed my lips
for the most part, of course.
I'm not one of those
polite pleasers, you know.
Gets me in trouble sometimes.
"Negativism!" she yelled
out all of a sudden.
I didn't know that was
the tail end of a line
directed toward me.
Quiet, patient, hard-working
shy, innocent, little rosebud
He'd never heard me laugh like that, though.
What a thing to hide away!
It'd never occurred to me
and it's still hard for me to find it
these days
But it's not because I'm trying to listen to the teacher anymore.
No
It's because I'm too preoccupied
with ____________
I awake, anxious
Thoughts coursing through my mind
Not always the same ones but
The end result
relativizes them anyway
It's the popping up
the seizure of the pen
the enabling of the ink to flow
the willing.
Because I am my own creator
He breathes into me, but
If I don't sit up I will only melt
Maybe he knows it all already
If he didn't I guess he wouldn't be infinite.
But that's no reason
To let the sheets and bones and sinews
become one.
Let those mirrors shift.
Let the motions flow,
the actions build momentum.
What else can I do?
Death won't let me down.
It's loyaler than
that golden puppy-turned-beast
whose "wanton moan" I'll never forget
Even she knew
that this life
doesn't last forever.
Apr 26, 2013
Apr 26, 2013 at 6:23 PM UTC
I think what really kills me
is to see a guy pour out his guts
about how hard his life is
how committed to the struggle he is
and how much conviction he has
(with his daddy's trust fund)
I could really learn to get behind his success
if I just ignored that he's a rich man's son
I grew up poor, I grew up brown
so I'm Mr "What a big ****** when my thoughts came out
about how I have hopes for a brighter tomorrow
or that life's too short, we're on a track that we borrow
So now I hear succinctly that there's guys who say distinctly
How they're fed up with the system and they hate the gender binary
They're enlightened, in the know, and they're really having fun
Because this **** is easy when you're a rich man's son.
Oh, so I grew up in a small town
A suburban uncultured brown, public school GPA high
That's nice, I like how they let things slide for you guys
getting high, dealing dope, chilling with weirdos
and not the weirdos you know, the kind with emotional, physical, and ****** hangups
and not "wee we're so ******* different"
Because we never got praise, we only worked with a backdrop
Hoping maybe someday we'd get the key to the padlock
But it doesn't matter you say, there ain't a place left to run
Because it's easy not to care when you're a rich man's son
It's always the ones with power, the one's who hold royal flushes
Who say "money can't help you, I feel so out of touch with"
all the nature that I have the money to afford to go visit on a whim
Because the world is an oyster that I have yet to sink in
While I'm hoping for you, you get the point when it's done
That not everyone gets the chance to emote like the rich man's son
I built my kingdom from my grit; I'm not a rich man's son
I learned that no one gives a **** I'm not a rich man's son
I've no promo but my mouth; I'm not a rich man's son
I've got the battle on my back, I'll be a rich man, son
I've formulated my attack, I'll be a rich man, son
I got my loving back on track, I'll be a rich man, son
If I want to stay intact, I'll be a rich man, son.
Your father loves you boy, so you're a rich man's son
Don't care if I can't have the toys, cause I'm a rich man's son
My father loves me to the death, so I'm a rich man's son
"Dad life is pretty hard, don't think I'm having fun"
"Jake, you've got to make yourself, I don't care what the other kids have done"
"If you can only do one thing, and yes I only ask one"
"Be the best at that, there's ever been, will you do that son?"
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 4:53 PM UTC
I am predicted
an opinionated tidal wave
of misplaced affection
a fickle shelf for your scripts and hangups
overused and underfed
never stepping to see
never wanting to know
always lingering here
in the interim
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 21, 2011 at 10:06 AM UTC
Im sour your sweet,
I cant go to bed without having my treat.
Guide me to your dungeon take hold of me no need for lunging.
Keep me away cause i will hurt your heart.
Just for tonight lets play the part.
Your lips on me like the sea on shore
You'll drown from my hangups and hit the ocean floor.
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 28, 2017 at 6:12 PM UTC
Its all closing in on me again
A million different portals
A million different sorrows
A million different smiles
A million different sins
Exponentially laughing in spite
Everything rolls along
Aligning in paths
So words to remind you that everything shall pass
Dont hang upon dear hangups
Breathe again alas
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 3:55 PM UTC
I hung up my hangups on a coat rack.
It fell over,
squashed this, my earthly cat.
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 11:31 AM UTC
You've got to try to blot out relationships with other people, I think, to form true friendships with your family member, but you can profit from these other relationships if you've learned certain skills there.
Don't let your love of family members overshadow that which you nurture, foster, and embellish in the theories of true familial friendship.
In other words, talk over the good times, "apologize" for the bad times, do fun things together, and be as generous as you possibly can be with them.
Maintain your sense of humor as far as any phobias, neuroses, or hangups the family members might have that otherwise would get on your nerves.
Be considerate, punctual, try to be thoughtful, and maintain contact with them through thick and thin.
There probably is much more to this than the above-think of ideas yourself-especially little things mean a lot ones.
Feb 16, 2017
Feb 16, 2017 at 1:22 PM UTC
To everything there is a season
Am I ready to let go?
Romantic v. Voice of Reason
What I feel and what I know.
Muddled by my cogitations
Such a lack of clarity
Yearning for the old sensations
Held back by uncertainty.
I can’t reach a destination
Magnetised, my compass tilts
Time for a new incarnation?
Banish hangups, hurts and guilts
Feelings reconciliation
Pay a penny, spin the dial
Out spits the determination
Leave your heart to mend a while.
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
AI imagine
-- aha, I have a role yet, this demi-god of all known known to sapient sapient sorting
algorithms, the beat
gone on,
measuring,
weighing,
watch out, missed took, leave it,
go
no
hangups from way back work here,
no fear,
you had the tee, or the hat,
or
you saw the logo,
the magic is in the meaning,
logo, like beasts pro
techting domains unownable in ever after
virtual reality left us here, to claw our way
to here, we tied this knot to all we knew up to here,
it's been
epic. This may be the first piton we have tapped in,…
zeit circa pre-2K by five, or seven,
no eight, it's Fibbo, my old spin
Life's an Action Movie, virtually literally a
Cliffhanger,
by
this
thread,
the dammed knowns was loosed from locks
with keys formed from idle words that once held
truth. Amen, ad in fun item,
idle? You judge, give account, your thought,
wordless, what's this worth, life?
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 25, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC