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Negra Nov 2015
When I was little, I thought barbie was one of the most beautiful humans I've ever seen.
I knew it because the world agreed with her and not me.
So I tried to scrub the dirt off my skin, in hopes that I'd get closer to white purity.
But I'd only turn red like the devil that they said I am
With a sponge soaked in blood trying to wash away my blackness.
The sponge rejected me too.

When I was little, I thought that barbie was one of the most beautiful humans I've ever seen.
Therefore, I burned my hair with chemicals to eradicate my curls.
So I'd be like white blond barbie. You could call me milk and honey. But the chemicals turned my honey into ashes.
Straight but dead.
The perms rejected me too.

When I was little, I thought that barbie was one of the most beautiful humans I've ever seen.
So I figured I should get a ken. A nice white man. Or maybe just a man.
But mommy was single too, so maybe I'm just too black to be loved.
Until, I was 17 and hadn't had my first kiss.
But when my time finally came,
I was just fulfilling his fantasy of a jungle fever, concubine, black object.
So still he rejected me too

When I was little I thought that barbie was one of the most beautiful humans I've ever seen.
So I pledged allegiance to the United States of white America
And to the republic, for which it stands on my body
One nation for eradication of my skin
Under god, a barbie
Indivisible stop making me invisible
With no liberity and justice for barbie

Barbie. A ******* plastic doll.
She's not even the most beautiful human I've ever seen.
She's not even human
And they done ****** up when they wrote those love poems for her.
Can't you see my almond eyes speaking,
While my chocolate strawberry dipped lips are closed.
Don't pretend you love me,
Because caressing my face with a knife
Is no kiss to brown velvet skin.
And I know my curls are too complex for you,
Cuz they're tangled in years of wisdom.
But the wisdom doesn't really lie there.
My beauty doesn't really lie there.
It's my passion, and vulnerability.
My mind and it's ability.
Oh my goodness I know whose one of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen.
It's me.
And I'm the most important person in my life
So before I can deeply love anyone esle,
I must fall in love with myself.
So here's the love poem they never wrote for me.

Oh my gooooooooodnesss. You emulate literal waves of chocolate.
So sweet that your tummy has rolls just to touch your body.
And your smile illuminates your dark skin into a radiance of self sun kissed beauty.
But really, your eyes are smiling and I'm not sure how you can speak so many languages with them.
Please touch me again you have the softest skin. Firm long hug.
But you're actually holding me with your mystifying soul. Vulnerable soul.
You feel everything.
So hot that when the sun kisses your skin, the sun is burning.
So cold that you saved the polar bears with your ice bergs like the mother nature you are.
And your mind is beautiful with all the neural connections becoming fruitful with berries the world never knew existed and have yet created words for.
My god, I love you
jeffrey conyers Jan 2013
An insecure woman.
Is a lonely woman.
For, a woman to know her man.
Then they know themselves.

If, he's a cheater.
Then you must ask yourself?
Why you still with him?

Do you need him?
Or feel you can't live without him?

If, he's faithful.
He's not going to keep dealing with the accusation.
Especially, if you have confirmed that's he's faithful.

It's been said that men can't be friends will a female.
But that's just the insecurity speaking.
Because , if you self assured of yourself.

Then your love can't be broken by anyone esle.

It's been said women can't be friends with men.
Again, it's just an insecurity within them.

Just like a insecure women.
Trying to hold on to a no-good man.
Allison Nov 2013
Can someone be broken to the point that they can't let anyone in? Like I am literary so tried of trying to be happy days on end. faking being alright and smiling to people I don't even know. it's not that I don't want to be happy it's that I physically can't. When something good happens to me I don't get happy or feel from it anymore. I feel like I'm that type of person thats only is okay when bad things happen and that's all I know. id rather be lonely then be  happy with someone. I'd rather hurt then feel good. That's such a bad thing. I wish I never met you. I really think all this is because of you. I never really loved anyone like I loved you. And I let you in more then I ever let anyone in. I told you more things then I told my own family. At one point you were the only person I wanted to talk to. I don't understand why you have such a hook on me it's drives me crazy sometimes. Sometimes? All the time. Sometimes I wanna call you and just talk to you like we would at 3 am just because. Just because I wanted to hear your voice. I don't know why you didn't want me anymore. I guess I was old news to you? I still think about you all the time. It's so funny how only one boy could change someone forever. It's not my fault that I'm so ******* because of the way you treated me. The way you made me fall over and over and over again the way your eyes made my whole day. I don't think i told you how much I loved your eyes. Or that your smile could make me feel all werid inside. I don't think told you that I loved sleeping with you that you twitched a little when you slept and it was adorable. I don't think i told you that I liked how you held my hand all night when we were sleeping. How you told me my bed is to
Small for two people and I had to sleep really close to you. That all I could hear was your heartbeat all night. How all we would play was yellowcard as we were kissing. I think you knew that was are band cause everytime you came over that's all you would play. You would play it on shuffle all day. I still can't listen to them without crying. I never told you that diving up to see you was the most nervous and best car drive I ever had. And even though we only had that hour together and it was amazing. I never told you that you are the most hardest relationship I had to pretend that I can be fine without. I never told you that you are perfect in every way and I'm sorry that I wasn't. That you needed more then me that you needed attention that your dad is not the best dad and he's why you are the way you are now. I'm sorry that you told me to promise you that I would never cut again and I did and you were disappointed in me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you are all I write about. You know that I never mean to but when I think about writing your all I think about. I'm sorry that I didn't see you as much as I wanted too. A hour and a half away is such a long walk and if I could
Of walked to you, you know I would of. Glad that you got that car cause when you came over was the best days ever. They still are. I think I'll miss you forever and I'm sorry about that. I dont think
I'll ever love like I loved you. I still love you. You never forget your frist love and you were my frist. I didnt just love you I was in love with you. I wanted so much with you and I know you did too at one point. I know me and you had hard times but you knew that I tried so hard to help you change. You need to change and you knew it and you even told me that you need help. You know I'm crazy for you right? Being with you for a year and 4 months changed me so much. I'm not the same person I was. And I don't understand why. I'm very unhappy. I'm rumbling on at 2:46am in the morning about you again. I really should go to
Sleep. I need you. You never really feel complete without the person who used To be the reason why you woke up in the morning to see that text message. I remember that one time I got really drunk and you told my friend to watch me cause you didn't want me to get hurt cause you cared so much about me. Why did that go? We weren't even dating then. We weren't even dating when you when in my bed at 3am telling me you loved me. It's 2:51 am and I think I should go to sleep. We haven't talked for 3 months and this is the longest we haven't talked. You once told me that you couldn't go a day without talking to me. What happen to that? I remember the frist time I saw you cry. You cried in my bed because you were upset with the way things where going on in your life. How are you? Are you happy? Is your life the way you wanted it to be? You said move on where do I go? Whenever I tired to move on there you were. You always knew I would always choose you. It's funny cause you said you didn't care what I do and when I found someone you came right back and told me to stay with you. That you
Needed me. I needed you. How can you tell
Me that I was all you ever wanted and never wanted anyone esle but not talk to me for 3 months? I'm scared to talk to you so I'm not going to. Are you scared to talk to me? Please don't. Cause I honestly can't have you back even though I do. I remember when you asked me to marry you that one time on Skype. I didn't think
You were being serious. I remember one new years we talked about having kids and what we would named them when we had them. I said I liked Zachary cause I loved your name and you wanted your uncles name and I was okay with that. I remember everything every conversation we had together. I remember are frist ever conversation. The one that started all of this beautiful relationship. It's 3:01am and I should go to sleep. I still talk to her. I still
Am friends with her. The girl you cheated on me with. You competely stop talking to her right after I found out. I feel like I'm making no sense and this isn't even a poem. I just been so sad today and I
Don't know why. When I was sad I would talk to you and you would make me happy again. I don't know why no one esle can. I remember the time I
Had a scare that time in August. I wouldnt of mind. Having a little you. I was okay with it. I'm sorry. I think I'll always say that I'm sorry when
It comes to you cause your all I ever wanted and I'm sorry I couldn't of made you stay. I tired my
Hardest. I remember the time when we broke up for good. I went in to work a hour later and I
Couldnt help crying and I couldn't stop. I had to sit in the office for a while cause it was so bad. Embarrassing. Really embarrassing actually. It's 3:08 am and I have a headache so I think
I'm going to go to bed.
Allison Jan 2014
If I had to say anything I would have to say wow.  I can't believe that you are so perfect. I almost hate leaving. If having countless people hurt me in the past to lead up to being with you then I wouldn't go back and change a single moment. I'm not good with being emotional and talking about my feelings around you so that's why I'm writing them. You are amazing, sweet, caring, perfect  every word I can think of you are. How could I want anything more then just laying around and being a total goofball with you. Why would I want anything esle then being as happy as I can be. Why would I want anything esle then sleeping with you and actually sleeping all night and not waking up constantly cause I feel nervous or panicky. I don't think I could have it any better. You asked me what do I like about you and I couldn't give you good answers but I don't like your voice and I don't like your hair and I don't like your singing randomly. I love them. I love that you feel comfortable with me I love holding your hand when we are at target or the mall. I love being around you to not even caring if I come home or not. I always thought that I never was good enough for someone that everyone always would Leave me and never look back but I feel different with you that I feel safe. Safe. I do love you and those three words only have came out once before and I got totally riped apart because of it. I'm trying to put everything out on the table and rip away from any of the nagtive feelings I have towards love and open up let it all go and start new.
Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle... sabréis quién fue Don Juan,
No aquel de la leyenda, sevillano galán
Que escalaba conventos, sino el burlón vejete,
Buen cristiano, que oía siempre misa de siete,
La ancha capa luciendo, ya un poco deslustrada,
Que le dejó en herencia Jiménez de Quesada;
Que fue amigo de Oidores, vivaz, dicharachero,
Que escribió muchas resmas de papel, y «El Carnero»;
Que de un tiempo lejano, casi desconocido,
Supo enredos y chismes, que narró y se han perdido;
Tiempo dichoso, cuando (lo que es y lo que fue)
tan sólo tres mil almas tenía Santa Fe,
Y ahora, según dicen, casi 300.000,
Con «dancings», automóviles, cines, ferrocarril
Al río, clubs, y todo lo que la mente fragua
En «confort» y progreso, verdad... ¡pero sin agua!
Tiempo de las Jerónimas, Tomasas, Teodolindas,
De nombres archifeos, pero de cara, lindas,
Y que además tenían, de Oidores atractivo,
Lo que en todas las épocas llaman «lo positivo»;
Cuando no acontecía nada de extraordinario,
Y a las seis, en las casas, se rezaba el rosario;
Días siempre tranquilos y de hábitos metódicos,
Sin petróleos, reclamos de ingleses ni periódicos,
Y cuando con pañuelos, damas de alcurnias rancias
Tapaban, en el cuello, ciertas protuberancias,
Que alguien llamó «colgantes, molestos arrequives»,
Causados por las aguas llovidas o de aljibes;
Cuando como en familia se arreglaban las litis
Y nadie sospechaba que hubiera apendicitis;
Cuando en vez de champaña se obsequiaba masato
De Vélez, y era todo barato, muy barato,
Y tanto, que un ternero (y eso era «toma y daca»)
Lo daban por un peso y encimaban la vaca;
Cuando las calles eran iguales en un todo
A éstas, polvo en verano, y en el invierno, lodo,
Por donde hoy es difícil que los «autos» circulen,
Y esto, cual muchos dicen, por culpa de la Ulen,
Mas afirman (en crónicas muchas cosas yo hallo)
Que entonces las visitas se hacían a caballo,
Y hoy ni así, pues es tanta la tierra que bazucan
Que en tan grandes zanjones los perros se desnucan.

Pero basta de «Introito», porque caigo en la cuenta
De que esto ya está largo...
                                                    Fue en 1630
O 31. A veces se me va la memoria
Y siempre quitan tiempo las consultas de Historia,
Y en años -no habrá nadie que a mal mi dicho tome-
Una cuarta de menos o de más no es desplome.
(Y antes de que los críticos se me vengan encima
Digo que «treinta» y «cuenta» no son perfecta rima,
Pero tengo en mi abono que ingenios del Parnaso,
Por descuido, o capricho, o por salir del paso,
Que es lo que yo confieso me ocurre en este instante,
Hicieron «mente» y «frente», de «veinte» consonante).

Diré, pues: «Hace siglos». Mi narración, exacta
Será, cual de elecciones ha sido siempre una acta,
Y escribiendo: «Hace siglos», nadie dirá que invento
O adultero las crónicas.
                                            Y sigo con mi cuento.
Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle (así yo di principio
A esta historia, que alguno dirá que es puro ripio);
Don Juan, en aquel día (la fecha no recuerdo
Pues en fechas y números el hilo siempre pierdo,
Aunque ya es necesario que la atención concentre
Y de lleno, en materia, sin más preámbulos entre).

Don Juan, el de «El Carnero», yendo para la Audiencia,
Donde copiaba Cédulas, le hizo gran reverencia
Al Arzobispo Almansa, que en actitud tranquila
A los trabajadores en el atrio vigila.
(Se decía «altozano», pero «atrio»
escribo, porque
No quiero que un «magíster» por tan poco me ahorque).

Debéis saber que entonces, frente a la Catedral
El agua de las lluvias formaba un barrizal,
Y para que los fieles cuando entraban a misa
Evitaran el barro de las charcas, aprisa
Puentecitos hacían frailes y monaguillos
Con tablas y cajones y piedras y ladrillos.

(Pobres santafereñas: tendrían malos ratos
Cuando allí se embarraban enaguas y zapatos,
Y también los tendrían los pobres «chapetones»
Porque sabréis que entonces no había zapatones.
Que yo divago mucho, me diréis impacientes;
Es verdad, pero tengo buenos antecedentes,
Como Byron, y Batres y Casti, el italiano,
A quienes en tal vicio se les iba la mano;
Mas sé que al que divaga poca atención se presta,
Y os prometo que mi última divagación es ésta).

Y sigo: El Arzobispo con el breviario en mano,
El atrio dirigía -que él llamaba «altozano».
Aquéllo a todas horas parecía colmena:
Unos, la piedra labran, traen otros arena
Del San Francisco, río donde pescando en corro
Se veía a los frailes, y que hoy es simple chorro.
Apresurados, otros, traen cal y guijarros.
Grandes yuntas de bueyes, tirando enormes carros
Llegan.
              El Arzobispo, puesta en Dios la esperanza,
Ve que es buena su obra. Y el altozano avanza.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, la tarde de aquel día,
«Estas misas parece que acaban mal», decía.
Luego se santiguaba, pues no sé de qué modo,
De la vida de entonces era el sabelotodo.

El Marqués de Sofraga, Don Sancho; a quien repugna
Santa Fe; con Oidores y vasallos en pugna
Y con el Arzobispo, sale al balcón, y airado,
Airado como siempre, viendo que el empedrado
A su palacio llega cerrándole la entrada
A su carroza, grita con voz entrecortada
Por la cólera: «¡Basta! Se ha visto tal descaro?
Al que no me obedezca le costará muy caro.
Quiero franca mi puerta!»
                                                  Todos obedecieron,
Y dejando herramientas, aquí y allá corrieron.

Viendo esto los Canónigos que salían del coro,
Tiraron los manteos, y sin juzgar desdoro
El trabajo, que sólo a débiles arredra,
La herramienta empuñaron para labrar la piedra.
Luego vinieron frailes, vinieron monaguillos;
Y sonaban palustres, escoplos y martillos.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, la tarde de aquel día,
De paseo a San Diego, burlón se sonreía,
Pensando en los Canónigos que en trabajos serviles
Estaban ocupados cual simples albañiles.

Ya de noche, a su casa fue y encendió su lámpara.
Cenó, rezó el rosario, después apartó el pan para
Su desayuno. (Advierto como cosa importante
Que «pan» y «para», juntos, son un buen consonante
De «lámpara». Es sabido que nuestra lengua, sobre
Ser difícil, en rimas esdrújulas es pobre,
Mas cargando el acento sobre «pan», y si «para»
Sigue, las dos palabras sirven de rima rara).

(Y el pan guardaba, porque con el vientre vacío
No gustaba ir a misa, y entonces por el frío
O miedo a pulmonías, en esta andina zona
Eran los panaderos gente muy dormilona;
Y Don Juan que fue en todo previsor cual ninguno,
No salía a la calle jamás sin desayuno).
Prometí los paréntesis suprimir, y estoy viendo
Que en esto de promesas ya me voy pareciendo
A todos los políticos tras la curul soñada:
Que prometen... prometen, pero no cumplen nada.

«¿Y qué fin tuvo el atrio?» diréis quizás a dúo.
Es verdad. Lo olvidaba. La historia continúo,
Sin que nada suprima ni cambie, pues me jacto
De ser de viejas crónicas siempre copista exacto,
Y porque a mano tengo de apuntes buen acopio
Que en polvosos archivos con buen cuidado copio.
Y como aquí pululan gentes asaz incrédulas,
Me apoyo siempre en libros, o Crónicas o Cédulas;
Y para que no afirmen que es relumbrón de talco
Cuanto escribo, mis dichos en la verdad yo calco,
Pues perdón no merece quien por la rima rica
A pasajero aplauso la Historia sacrifica,
La Historia, que es la base del patrimonio patrio...

Y os oigo ya impacientes decirme:
                                                              -«¿Pero el atrio?»
El atrio... Lo olvidaba, y hasta a Rodríguez Fresle;
Mas sabed que en Colombia, y en todas partes, esle
Necesario al poeta que busque algún remanso
En las divagaciones, y es divagar, descanso;
Porque es tarea dura, que aterra y que contrista,
Pasar a rima, y verso la prosa ele un cronista,
Que tan sólo a la prosa de diaristas iguala,
La que en todos los tiempos ha sido prosa mala;
Y aunque en rimas y verso yo sé que poco valgo,
Veré si de este apuro con buena suerte salgo...
Y en olla fío, porque... repararéis, supongo,
Que nunca entre hemistiquios, palabra aguda pongo,
Ni hiato, y de dos llenas no formo yo diptongo
Como hizo Núñez ele Arce (Núñez de Arce ¡admiraos!
Que en dos o tres estrofas nos dijo «cáus» por «caos»,
Y hay poetas, y buenos, de fuste y nombradía,
Que hasta en la misma España ¡qué horror! dicen
«puesía»,
Cual si del Arte fuera, para ellos, la Prosodia
De nuestra hermosa lengua, ridícula parodia);
Que duras sinalefas nunca en un verso junto
Y que jamás el ritmo, cual otros, descoyunto,
Porque eso siempre indica pereza o ningún tino,
Y al verso quita encanto, más al alejandrino,
Que es sin duela el más bello, que más gracia acrisola,
Entre todos los versos en Métrica española.
Que lo digan Valencia, Lugones y Chocano,
todos ellos artífices del verso castellano,
Y que al alejandrino, que es rítmico aleteo,
Dan el garbo y la música que adivinó Berceo.

Y sigo con el atrio.
                                Después de madrugada
Volvieron los canónigos a la obra empezada.

Al Marqués de Sofraga la ira lo sofoca.
Alcaldes, Regidores al Palacio convoca;
Y Alcaldes, Regidores, ante él vienen temblando,
Y díceles colérico: «¡A obedecer! Os mando
Que a todos los Canónigos llevéis a la prisión.
Mis órdenes, oídlo, mandatos del Rey son».

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle rezó cual buen cristiano;
No escribió, y sin reírse se acostó muy temprano,
Porque muy bien sabía que el Marqués no se anda
Por las ramas, con bromas, y cuando manda, manda.
Mas desvelado estuvo pensando y repensando
En la noche espantosa que estarían pasando
Sin dormir, los Canónigos, en cuartucho sombrío
De la cárcel, sin camas, y temblando de frío.

La siguiente mañana no hubo sol.
                                                              Turbio velo
De llovizna y de brumas encapotaba el cielo.

Fray Bernardino Almansa llega a la Catedral.
Está sobrecogida la ciudad colonial.
Salmos penitenciales se elevan desde el coro,
Y en casullas y capas brilla a la luz el oro.
El Prelado aparece como en unción divina
En el altar, y toda la multitud se inclina;
Entre luces ele cirios destella el tabernáculo;
Hay indecible angustia y hay dolor. Alza el báculo,
Y mientras que en la torre se oye el gran esquilón,
Erguido el Arzobispo lanza la excomunión.
Alcaldes, Regidores, todos excomulgados
Porque al Cielo ofendieron.
                                                  Los fieles congregados
En la Iglesia, de hinojos, y en cruz oraban.

                                                                            Fue
Aquel día de llanto y duelo en Santa Fe.
Cerradas se veían las puertas y ventanas,
Y en todas las iglesias doblaban las campanas.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle se dijo: «¡Ya está hecho!»
Se dio, cual buen cristiano, tres golpes en el pecho;
Pero volvió de pronto su espíritu zumbón,
Y pensando en la hora suprema del perdón,
Vio a los excomulgados con sus blancos ropones,
Al cuello sendas sogas, y en las manos blandones,
Y murmuró: «Del cielo la voluntad se haga,
Donde las dan, las toman. Quien la debo la paga».

Y escribiendo, escribiendo, la noche de aquel día,
De los excomulgados, socarrón se reía,
Porque le fue imposible su sueño conciliar
Sin que viera en las sombras por su mente pasar
Regidores y Alcaldes, cada uno en su ropón,
Cual niños que reciben primera comunión.

Don Juan Rodríguez Fresle, siempre que los veía,
Del ropón se acordaba y a solas se reía.
I didn't want him to love somebody esle
I wanted him to love me
I really wanted him to love me
Not that it matters now,
Anyway
Allison Aug 2014
It's funny how we use people to fix us from a past love. How we grieve and sob over our old love until someone comes and picks us up out of are sad moments into happy ones. Falling out of love into something new and maybe something that will last forever. It's weird to think you loved another person and never even thought that you'd even love another until the day they leave and never return. But you find love in a whole new meaning. someone you didn't think you'd love, you love. And that old love disappears and makes you think was that even love? Should I even call that love if this new love is completely different? Why must we throw the word love around when we end up with someone new most of the time. Shouldn't love be a word we use to the person we want to spend are whole life's with and we actually do? Should the word love be illegal cause it makes the heart confused on the view of love? Being in love and loving someone should come from the heart and not the mind but we throw it around like it's a new trend. Being in love should make you feel butterfly's in places you didn't think could fly. Being in love should make you feel at home with that person even when you don't have a home and make you not want to be with anyone or anywhere esle.  Being in love make you believe in a future. Why tell a new love you are in love with them when you feel there be gone in a year or more? Do we trust are self that if this love isn't true a new love will come and we will forget It all and hope for a new future? A new start to what we wanted with our old loves? Maybe one day you could say you finally found someone wroth fighting for to keep that love alive like I have.
Poetic T Nov 2020
There was once a spot,
some would say he was charcoal
others would say it's got to be coal.
then you would have the, no its dark grey.

But we'll let you decide that for now.

The spot was on the page all alone,
   he filled up quite a portion of the page.
But it's not fun being alone, so he thought
instead of a spot ill become many dots.

So slowly what was one became two, three
smaller and smaller did spot become.
After quite a time, the spot was no more but
dots sprinkled over the page, they all looked
at each other the many but still alone.

So they decided to connect slowly the large dots
shrank as they lined from one to 100.
It took a while but now they were connected.
still their individual selves but now not alone.

But the funny thing is, that when we connect
things, we see more than before.
They didn't realize that from a spot to a dot
then united. They Painted a picture, you
may ask of what could a giant spot becomes.

Well ill tell you, it had a waggy tail, four legs,
and one of the cutest barks. He ran around
the page, some dots shock loose.
landing in the middle spread out but
close enough not to be alone.

They wondered for a while what they were till
they went "Woof, Oh my gosh were a dog,
a puppy to be exact. And with that they came
up with a name, they did a vote that was only fair.
All wanted one, but you have one always
                             wanting something esle.

Well the vote was in the many had thought and
pondered, now they knew who they were going to be.
Drum roll please....
      Rat-a-tat rat-a-tat ratta-tatta-tat-tat.
And there name was to be Spot the dog,
   except the one on our ear.

He shall be known as bob.

After he had a zoomy, scuffing the edges of the
page, he settled down, ok after he'd chased his
tail just this once more.

So the story goes from one to the many,
to be more than they'd ever wished before.
We have Spot the dog and Bob the spot.
    And if your careful and don't make a sound.
You can peek through the door and see spot
running around the page, chasing his tail
and barking in the excitement that he's now more.
Stu Harley Aug 2014
when we
finally
get old
the leaves
start to fall
from the trees
not as gold but
the eyes lose their sight
the knees begins to buckle
still we get old in the fight but
where esle shall we go and
what dwells
inside or below
lives the
foutain of youth
that we know and
there is a place
where we
shall go
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
Welcome to the show,

You have no right for a question,

All you can do is to follow.


Money is your priority,

You must not get yourself broke,

Medias are your examples,

Be whatever they have shown you to be.


You must follow your cycle,

To leave behind everything you gain,

For someone esle to own.


If you ever had a second thoughts,

Alcohol is your answer,

If that doesn't shut those thoughts,

Blast your ears with music till you can hear no more.


-HIY
M Jun 2020
Yesterday i was high on hopes, high on love, high on the future adventures in and of life, but now... now im 6 feet deep in a grave of depression, wanting to **** myself. Dont be alarmed, im not going to, and im sorry this message comes out of knowwhere, very random of me, i know, im sorry, but i have to let this out somehow and to someone. These thoughts eat me alive, especially at night, because im alone with them... but if you think about it wherher its night at 6 am or any other time of the day where sun is bright in the sky, im still alone with these same thoughts. They pop up randomly everywhere. I try to control them, like they said, like YOU said, but i cant seem to, like AT ALL, not even in the slightest. From a mix of overthinking and seeing other people being happy with themselves and their lives, i stop and wonder, why cant that be me? Why cant i have that happiness? And i alsp wonder... for them... is it real happiness? Are they facing the same things but just able to put on a brave enough face to make it SEEM as if theyre truly happy? Or am i just alone in this? I'd like to think that im not. And I'd like to know that im not but the constant thought that i am is driving me... INSANE. I sound crazy right? I am crazy right? No ones even gonna hear this. No ones even gonna see this and read it and or care. I could plaster it all over the walls of everywhere i got whether it be school, or work or my house or walmart or starbucks or any other ******* place(excuse my language) its not gonna ******* matter. (Again excuse my language) i could spell it out to you and everyone esle or even yell it out "I NEED HELP!! PLEASE HELP ME!!" But thats all you see it as, as a needless cry for help or just that i want attention. Im just the boy crying depression and suicide. IM NOT. I... NEED... HELP. I dont know why im writing this and recording this or even opening up about this to YOU and a bunch of strangers, but maybe because its strangers and you cant see my face and look me in my eyes and see my pain then maybe it makes it easier to tell... someehat besides all the overthinking thoughtd that make me not wanna continue this (writing this and recording this, not life... just for clarification). Ive tried. Time and time again. But its always gotten me nowhere. Maybe i tried to hard. Maybe i didnt try enough or maybe i didnt try in the right time when it was convenient to you enough to help. Or msybe its vise versa. Maybe you didnt try. Or maybe you didnt try enough. Or maybe im just using my pain and guilt to throw it on you to make myself feel better. Who knows. Maybe ill never know. Its too late anyways. Sorry for wasting your precious time. Bye.
To anyone possibly taking the time to read all of that, it is not about me, it is only dialogue for a book im writing about teenage depression to try to make people aware of teenage depression and suicide, which i know some people already aware of it, i just want to try to show it first hand from a teenage perspective of actually talking about what it may look like, if that makes sense, im sorry if it doesnt, its early in the a.m. so im kinda out of it, but yeah, its dialoge for a characrer in a book im working on, not sure the name of it yet or when itll be finished but hopefully itll help make more people aware. Much love to all, hope you all have a nice day, and stay safe with all thats going on and until next time, M. Signing out✌🏽
jeffrey conyers Mar 2020
Like your bedroom that only a select few will ever enter.
My heart is similar to it.
Only by private invitation will you know it.

It's protected.
To stay unaffected because I am very selected to who I give my love too?

How esle?
Can you stop others from miss using it?
Unless you determine deeply to protect it.

You say you can love me?
You said you can protect me?
But to me, these are just words.

But if you ever gain this private invitation only?
You going to enjoy knowing you, my woman.

— The End —