"eponine" poems
I used to be one of the brightest reds
but now I've turned grey
forced to be numb
grown familiar with the pain
"Is this right or is it wrong?"
I ask myself everyday
while you are unaware of these conversations in my head
that I am caught up in this fray
if you could only see the way the way
you tell me endless stories about her
like the gleam in your eyes and
how your smile grows wider
every time you mention her name
inimical to your happiness
there is an ache in my chest
yet I do not blame you for my heart’s distress
how could you be so oblivious?
why can’t you realize? why can’t you see?
why won’t you pay me enough attention
and look at me properly?
you leave me with no choice
but to stop myself from jumping off the cliff
only to fall into nothing but misery
as I fill this paper with the
breathings of my heart
tears blur my vision and they fall drop by drop
I’m all by myself again, nothing new
with a question left in my mind:
am I in love with you?
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 5:08 AM UTC
I cannot wait
To weather storms with you,
And I cannot wait
To see all the miracles of life with you.
And I used to think
I was the Eponine
To your Marius,
But I am the Hinata
To your Naruto.
My head hurts with
Pain I faced alone,
But I can't wait for the day
We face the world hand-in-hand,
Because you are all that I've ever wanted
Out of life and more.
It's taken awhile,
But I'm finally where I'm meant to be,
I'm finally within your heart.
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 2:46 PM UTC
Study the stage, young women
Because the day will come when you fall in love with a boy
who's in love with you
but your friend loves him, too.
And let's face it. She deserves him.
So do it for her - channel Dorothy's excitement at the Land of Oz,
Hello Dolly's kindly matchmaking.
Be the Nurse to her Juliet; keep her secrets.
Only at night allow yourself to lose character.
You can then become Eponine in the rain,
Christine in the depths of the opera house,
Maria watching her world torn apart.
Avoid the boy's gaze if you can, ladies,
Because he knows you're no Dorothy,
no Dolly,
no Nurse.
He knows and you know, but you do it for her.
Feb 26, 2013
Feb 26, 2013 at 1:19 AM UTC
Little does he know,
Little does he notice;
A flower yet to sow,
Unwanted like jaundice.
When will my voice be heard?
When will I be out of soak?
It’s like saying to the Lord,
“If only I can touch his cloak.”
He merely sees me more
For he seeks me as company.
Spreading like sore
In my heart, it is him only.
I wish I could steal him away
So no one else can interfere.
Please, by my side he’ll stay,
Don’t take him as I fear.
How I dream he’d be in my arms,
Holding me so tight.
Alas, it’s just a dream that harms
My reality as it might.
Who does he seek for forever?
Oh, it’s not me, I bet.
Or if he does, I’ll savor
What Fate has made and set.
Alas, here’s my downfall,
Together with its pangs of pain.
Seems I’m not the apple the eye after all.
Okay, my heart is sealed again.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 4:07 AM UTC
He is intangible
Of that you are certain
Intangible and far away
And realistically
There's nothing you can do about it
No wand to vanish the distance
No command to solidify his existence
No chance to verify the feelings drifting across modems
It seems a cruel trick of the Cosmos
That you should be obsessing
Over a binary being
A body who takes the form of a chat window
For all you know, he isn't even real
You could have dreamed him up
Imagined yourself a lover
And placed him across an ocean
Conveniently out of reach when you need him most
Yes, it's a cruel trick
To be questioning the universe at every turn
Wondering if it's his intangibility that captures you
Rather than the sweet words he lets play across the screen
Wondering how he could ever disappoint you
If he's only made of instant messages
Sometimes
You hold your own hands
Wishing you could trace the lines of his palm
Imagining having something solid to hold
Instead of slippery dreams and fluffy half-images
That get dislodged by catchy songs
Sometimes
You talk to yourself as though he could hear you
Wishing the sound could reverberate around his room
Envisioning the faces he would make
And hallucinating his responses
Sometimes
You want to slap him
Wishing you could hear the satisfying smack
Of your palm against his cheek
Rather than the clattering of your typing fingers
When you're jealous over a piece of cyberspace
Nonexistence is disappointing
When you've worked out all the details in your head
All you want to do is reach out
And not be stuck catching at empty air
In the end
His intangibility will let you down
So why are you so enchanted?
Why are you feeling like Eponine
Pretending he's beside you
Knowing you're living in your head?
And yet these days
You find it far too easy to let the city fall away
Only to have it shock you with its solidity
When you realize you've been imagining things again
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 27, 2010 at 6:46 PM UTC
he closed his eyes and i wondered if
i should kiss his lips
i drew closer and closer to him
but remembered, he wasn't mine to kiss
he was just a distant dream
not for me to miss
he smiled at me and i wondered why
life could be unfair sometimes
little did we know how love hurts so much
till were finally on the spot
we love, they love-- but it's not us
and it's a cycle we can't stop.
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 13, 2017 at 7:18 AM UTC
Oh, from a starving lady to a man,
This can't be more than just a little show!
Say then, what if there is some higher plan?
Don't say you'll love a girl who you don't know!
I cannot say your love is false or dull,
Nor can I ever say she's not a dame
But I can say my heart is twice as full
Of poems that are titled with your name.
So, if the words you say to her are true,
Then you go have your fun and I will stay--
Outside and all alone and without you,
My heart will sing those words you'll never say.
My love is thus-- My love is always so
That what is in your heart I'll never know.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 9:05 PM UTC
my blood's running through my veins
ice cold, so slow
my mind's stumbling over memories
from a lifetime ago.
my eyes don't shed tears,
but somehow they cry,
as i listen to the sound
of a broken heart die.
you listen to the lies,
i listen to the feelings,
bleeding through the words
that float to the cloudy ceiling.
watch the angel's wings,
last breath in her eyes,
wings spreading wide
as she chokes out her goodbyes.
a heart full of love,
couldn't see the dedication.
you loved her like she was
a prescribed medication.
when you saw the light, and
made a fresh new start
you threw away the pills,
stabbed a dagger in her heart.
so when the love ran red and
the truth came out,
you held her hand, just once,
as the rain poured down.
in her last living moments
you swear to keep her safe,
but in the end, God's hands
tore her from this wretched place.
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013 at 6:36 PM UTC
i am a concrete project amidst
handsome skyscrapers, like titans
of yore, 'yore', a word
which hasn't been used since
the time it describes.
and just above my edifice,
there is a crow that circles round;
no one understands Eponine,
but everybody loves her.
Yore, yore, she would have been
a thousand times
a lover because all she
could do was
love.
i looked out my fogged-up window,
beyond the crows and urban trash,
and saw myself back in the glass,
me, Eponine,
loved by all,
seen by none.
"It's honorable to love that way,
Eponine, you lovely liar."
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 9:20 AM UTC