It hasn't even been ten minutes yet,
Already outside sweatpants hanging off my hips, you can finally see the bones again,
A ciggerate between my lips so quick,
I don't have time to remember that I don't smoke, but the offer was there so why not take it, I've got more toxins in my body I can handle it, cold hands on colder concrete, I can hear the boys next store talking about me, they say I'm a broken bird in a world where I'm forced to fly,
They whisper the words pathetic, yet have never outstretched a hand to a childhood friend, who's dying, trying to believe in a God,
When every else knows she's lying, the unforgivable sin always dancing in, her brain, a mess, a wreck. Her heart, a detached chain link fence, always looking through but never reaching, and she's sick and tired of all the needless beating, the 3 am screaming, knocks on her bedroom door during the night send her reeling into terrorized wakings, remembering who's always on the otherside waiting, what did she do wrong this time, like living in the hood, but all her family thinks it's good, the way her parents raised her up. They don't know about the glass and beatings and the blood. Cause she smiles, & Yaweh smiles they use to say, but it all leads back to a scared little white girl in the suburbs, sitting on the porch step, asking God what he's doing, she cries out," lord my love for you is abundant some days I get lost in it, 1 hour of intimacy and feeling wanted, I walk away broken and daunted, sitting on a porch stoop waiting for the next train to come by, you won't see me in the morning"
Goodbye,
