Carlos was born in killa cali
Was walking down an alley and caught a bullet in his head that left him bleeding badly. He lost everything at that moment except his life
He lost his hearing lost his movement and he lost his sight
He laid there in a coma
But man nobody cared
The Gospel preached in his neighborhood? Nobody dared
But los got up out the coma got and was able to hear
A missionary shared the gospel to his open ears
He got saved got trained got discipled
Back to hood
You could find em preaching the bible
He led a homie to Christ from his same hood
Part of Church plant
Come on now ain't his name good
This is blessing but I'm stressing that this is not the norm
We need leaders and belivers to help carry it on
But who would minister in a sinister part of town
I pray if Jesus is calling you that you would be found

Eric used to go to bible study as a kid
He got older and started doing what the hood did
A rival gang caught him slippin tried to take his life
But the jammed up so them beat him nice
He woke up in the hospital singing bible songs
Praise God he had a place to learn the bible from
But then he gets saved and wanna preach Christ they make him change his whole culture and way of life
He gotta get him a bachelors wear a suit and tie
Go to seminary
By then all of his boys will die
Jesus came to invade culture outta nazereth and used a couple fisherman who people saw as hazardous
The feet are beautiful if only they'd go
If ain't nobody in hood preaching how will they know?
Eric is better used taught trues in his context
Somebody please plant a church in his projects.

In Luke 4 16 on down to 21 jesus says he's messiah says hes the chosen one
But more than that he quotes Isaiah
That shows our savior targets oppressed captive blind and the broke I'm saying
Had a heart for the poor had a heart for the low
And 1st John 2:6 is way we should go
In Dueteronomy even tho they under the law
The tithes every third year the poor got em all
I ain't sayin you wrong if you live in burbs
I'm sayin turn your attention to the hood cause we hurting
Man if you ain't burdened please pick up your word an
Tho this world is going down while we here we can serve him
We bring this to the streets because we knew the streets
I pray that more would be burdend to have beautiful feet
You never knew the streets but truth is what you preach
I pray to God you'd be burdened for beautiful feet.
Go, go, go (run with those beautiful feet)
Go, go, go
You hold the truth that saves so run and shout it to the world
They can't believe in something they ain't never heard
Go, go, go and run with those beautiful feet

Identify at once
The words jumble in my throat
Retribution shock
Governing by my ticking clocks
Spewing wind to fill the sails

Empty boats
Floating down
Glinding along gilded banks
Wheat can seldom feed a soul
Only bloat the burdend mind

How does the horizion break?
When did all my buds bloom
Long into the night
And slowly wither away
But never die

Change is mine
And when it comes to me
My will I cannot abide
There will be no sacrifice
I live my life by the dimmest light

The words I could speak
To blow it out
Flowing over the tip of my tounge
But Seldom ever spoken
Silence is golden

And the danger may be closer than it appears
And you'll never know if the end is near
And the ones i loved, cherished and relied most heavily upon
Can slip god through my viens...

And yet the new ones
The immitators I've neglected
Seldom speak to me, irony a bitter curse

And up untill this day, and onwards down the current
the words still escape me

So you get rid of me because I ended up emotionally black mailing you,
into believing what I believed,
and now you've got rid of me you've decided to do the same to me,
you want me to keep my mouth shut,
so now you're in control!
how ******* dare you!!

Is that how this is going to work,
you're free now,
you're in control,
I even snapped out of it so you wouldn't be burdend,
dunno how,
but that wasn't good enough you were already bored.

Through out our relationship,
you always had to keep a few secrets just to have your bit of control,
you had to be a bit rebellious,
I gave you ******* control,
I gave you choice over me!
I gave you everything so I could adapt to be who you wanted!

And you know what my view was,
not till I'd found the one,
so I could be pure and proud,
I hate to say it even if it wasn't on purpose,
I'm **** like the rest now and damaged goods,
I've been ****** and left!!

Oh yes and your voice remained a secret,
I wanted you to be able to let go with me,
and just be comfortable,
oh ******* look,
there's a concert now we've split up,
and guess who's performing!!!!???

And you probably want to find some else now I'm so ****,
well I pray they love you like I did or better if even possible,
I do hope they are powerful,
because you deserve it,
and I am forever watchful,
I will ******* break them!!

I am at the edge of life
The middle of nowhere
Endless loop and full of emptyness .

I know.. I'm in a dream
I am feeling a sudden whirl in my head
And I was standing on the cliff .
I feel like gravity is pulling me down the cliff .

Slowly i am falling , i feel so burdend

I am falling with my empathy
I am falling with my compassion
I am falling with my love
I am falling with the broken peices of my heart .
I am drowning in that gut renching pain
I am drowning in that suffocating pain
I am drowning in that gnawing pain
I am drowning in that exhausting pain

My body is getting cold , i can feel shivers
But I cannot move .
I am getting numb , and the last tear was dry .
I am scared , I'm in fear i might feel what grief feels like

Please hold me back with everything .


I have drowned , i have fallen in a sleep .
The cliff was my one last stop before death .

You're late .




march 04/2020