I am a bodyless woman

The other bodyless women
and me
talk
We were DOA before anything begun
Our bodies, tying us down
Our bodies, the key to being unbound

It hurts so much
to see both sides
not just mine
to see him hurt at my closed gates
the frustration, pain he gets
You could have his world in your hands
the tension's heavy you could cut with a knife
But love sometimes is not enough
not enough
to defy
life's tough

And my pain, too.
Another man I'll lose.
His desire runs Deep
as deep as my anguish
The waters roar I am on I feel the tickling of love
the love below
but the wound doesn't heal so far

I got obsessed
with ***
so it got erased
The bodyless women we are
A bodyless woman I am
I've been on an exile from my own self.

The bodyless women - take my hand
Heal our minds - our body will follow
The bodyless women - being a spirit can be hurtful

Corpse pose: bodyless

I lie and listen, hearing --


the world nothingness.

i'm not soulless;
i actually feel like my soul is not being held by a body.
like my soul is flying around in free;
but i do not feel safety.

i'm bodyless;
whirling around in the wind,
like a particle of dust
with no weight
but still tough.

i am just a soul;
without a beating heart
with no lungs,
and no blood to be pumped.

y.m

Days are heavy, thick, and physical.
objects exist and separate,
matter builds then breaks apart,
and I am trapped, in this tight skin
to do the same.

Night is transparent, loose enough
to hold you black, and white,
and body-less, boundless
connected
with unwavering hands.

I ache to keep these moments here
but all things die,
we let go.

I wake to feel the weight
of sun on eyelids,
skin on muscle,
pulse on bone;
the grinding scrape of thought
against thought.

So I lay back down,
count the drops from the leaking faucet,
until the night again.

I thought that I was the next thompson
I can't unthink that now
I thought I was a pathetic little wannabe playing himself up to be something more
I can't unthink that now  
I stared at a women on the subway for a solid time and then wrote a note telling her she was beautiful and laid it beside her
I can’t unsay that now
I told my older brother that I think he has asbergers syndrome
I can’t unsay that now
I realized as I took a puff of a joint that I was only doing so because I wanted an excuse to sit and do nothing all day
I can’t unthink that now
Subsequently I understood that all of my consummate drug use is not in any sense exploration or experimentation but simply an escape from my persistent thought
I can’t unthink that now
While listening to a boost mobile add I realized that they were targeting black people by using words like “bling bling” and an obvious ebonic accent
I can’t unthink that now
I saw another ad where the bodyless voice claimed “size does matter” and realized that it was playing on the general inadequacy issues and ***** envy of most men
I can’t unthink that now
Standing on the street I thought about stepping in front of a bus
I can’t unthink that now
While discussing gender politics with a friend I drew a comparison between liberal activist sentiments and culturally accepted cannibalism
I can’t unsay that now
While holding a knife for a brief second I thought about pushing through her back
I can’t unthink that now
I told a black couple that they look exactly alike
I can’t unsay that now
I saw a thick assed black women walk past me and was over whelmed with jealousy at the idea that she would never sleep with a white boy like me
I can’t unthink that now
I heard about the lacrosse team at notre dame being accuse of ****** that girl and thought “how horrible now all of those guys lives are ruined”
I can’t unthink that now
I stood with some friends at a bar and derided them with ******* like “I ain’t got money like all you haha”
I can’t unsay that now
I told a my girlfriend that she had cankles
I can’t unsay that now
I asked my ex girlfriend if she wanted to have a ******* with my new girlfriend and I
I can’t unsay that now
I identified with the title of the nirvana song “I hate myself and want to die”
I can’t unthink that now
I thought that the world would probably be better and would function much more smoothly if there weren’t any races or religions
I can’t unthink that now
I thought that I would rather be black or gay because then I would have something to be angry about
I can’t unthink that now
I used to think about running away so then I could have one of those romantic stories of the runaway who went and made his own life
I can’t unthink that now
I used to wish my parents hated each other for similar reasons
I can’t unthink that now
I saw a beautiful ******* the street and immediately thought that she must be so boring because her whole life is given to her because she is so beautiful
I can’t unthink that now
I gave money to one of those gay rights activists on the street and felt smugly confident in my own liberal open-mindedness
I can’t unthink that now
I held a steak knife and wondered how it would feel to run it through my eye
I can’t unthink that now
I realized that if we believe that one action causes another our lives are fundamentally determined from the beginning and are therefore meaningless
I can’t unthink that now
I realized that if we really do have the power of choice then it inevitably follows that one action is not caused by another and that all of everything is essentially random and life is similarly meaningless
I can’t unthink that now
I realized that my life is only as good as it is because it is built on the backs of endless suffering others
I can’t unthink that now
I realized that despite all of these ugly and despicable realizations about myself I still think I’m a pretty good guy
I can’t unthink that now

Here, now:
looking at the bright star of your deity bodyless.

You have grown colder
as the music use to say,
and i have grown deeper into a trance
that encompasses my void.

Let me see your fragile weakness soul
and play spells
incomprehensible magic mantra
becoming shadow
indulging wounds
praying the secret poem
to a homeless paria.

Let me take the easy way
to death.

One day we will become
into flowers
and our smells
will write
the cantata of mature fruit
and our song
will reveal the sadstone
that burns
within.

So much swirling in my head today
and swirling in the world around me

In spaces meant to connect us
with faceless, nameless, bodyless people of the world

Stories shared that resonate all too familiar
spurred on by that charged phrase

grab them by the *****.

I still wonder how it went down
waking up in bed, wondering how i got home

Not knowing where that night had gone,
until you bragged about your conquest

Memories lost, in black and blur
did I block in naive hopes to save my soul?
or had I drowned my memory in drink
ensnaring myself

It led to quarrels with the one I loved,
bragging lead to broken hearts, once for my love, twice for me

pray for the *****.

As we watch hundreds of women pronounce their pain,
I pray for the countless more festering silently inside

For broken dreams, shattered hearts, swirling minds,
and the weights we can't unload

Crash
     and break
              and fall
Rush past me in waves,
I
will pass through this.

I am light
I cannot be affected.
I am a bodyless reflection of the sun
this flesh
is nothing,
I barely feel it,
barely live in it.

I
am barely here.

This body is temporary,
all of this aching
is temporary.

I
am transient stars.
I am the breath of things billions of years dead.

I am a ghost
finally reaching the place
they were sent to haunt.

So what does it matter?
Can the stars
answer your calling?
Can the sun grow any dimmer because you request it?
Can you pin the clouds
to the sky above your dry bones
with the might of your tongue?

Am I not all these things?
Am I not passing
fleeting
burning uncontrollably?
Tumbling through the void of space
only to be turned into folklore
when I finally snag on the surface
of this jagged planet?

One beautiful morning, the smell of flowers is pleasant to the senses, the song of birds is pleasant to listen to, the fresh air is pleasant to embrace.

6:00 am in the morning, waiting for a happy breakfast, laugh here, laugh there.

When it dropped by 10:00, the module was already waiting, I was so anxious, the module was nice to look at, at first glance.

Despite the fact that it is difficult to answer, I persevere in answering even though I am very tired, but the next day I will look forward to it,

My body has given up, but my mind is still going on, every hour is important, every day is getting heavier and heavier,

My question is, aren’t you tired? Because I was so tired, my body was bodyless, and my brain was weak.

Don’t compare robots, we’re so tired, we’re making our own tutorial just to be able to submit,

Self-effort is important because in all cases our friends are not always there to help us, self-confidence is what I have to pass on.

I do love you sexless
I do love you bodyless
I do love you handless, armless, feetless, thighless
I do love you dressless
I do love you necklace
I do love you faceless
I do love you eyeless, earless, hairless
I do love you senseless, timeless, placeless
I do love you nonetheless.

God is Dead
He says
the concept of thinking
him as human is dead
It's not God is dead
then
God is not in the form of human
he is faceless, bodyless...
the concept of searching God
is dead, don't search
Birth and Death belong
to human
not God..
If you think to find him
in human form
not possible
that way is dead..

His voice makes me high
His eyes make me fly
He speaks my world of ache, despair
And coats it with piercing beauty instead
My world of black, my breathless world
He was there when it crumbled too
Yet I could not see through
I am behind the veil now, so I do
Existential boredom and hunger for some relief
from everything
even *** seems sickening
Yet I can't stop having it

He is not ****** - but he is a pleasure too
He is an angel - from **** heaven
He is beautiful - he doesn't have to try to
In a bodyless world (what a blessing,
what a curse) I'd be with him of course

How not to break, I ask.
Will you give me a hug
in absence?

It is very dark
night. After stealing me, when
will you drink the moon?

Each word becomes
a snake, writhing to devour
the bodyless truth.

The fall has come
again. I am walking on dry,
pink leaves to recall you.

One day me and you
will meet again after melting inside.
Life may find a surprise.

In unconscious you,
it was defeat of reason,
I am trying to define life.

A bodyless thought
gives birth to misconceptions
I count your fingers daily.

Why did you show
me your hand wearing a
mash to hide the ****.