"bejesus" poems
Well.. if you must know!
our next door neighbour Mrs. Blue,
she and her husband are like rubber and glue,
So what does she do behind his **** back,
shhh..she dates her oompa loompa butler instead
Oh? tell me more Mrs. Snotnose!
Everyone knows I don't like to gossip!
I am not making this **** up right!
there's a rumour going on about that sneaky Mrs. White
(whisper)..She took some fat off her ****
to hide that ugly mole of a nut!
(giggle) Bejesus!, really?
Of course Mrs. Dullardmost!
Wait till you hear about Mrs. Brown,
she wore a fake necklace to the charity event at Hotel Crown!
but not everyone is elegant and classy like me,
the sweet natured that I am, you know I let people be
Oh Mrs. Snotnose, you are the epitomy of noesis!
*(I would have been on my way,
had it not been for all your delighting prey)*
how is dear Mrs. Red doing after that,
you know, that.. incident in her flat?
Oh dear, who doesn't know about that flat incident!
but you know I dont like to pry!
you couldn't take it out of me even if you would try!
I couldn'tell you what I saw through her window,
but um, well, if you really must know!
Jul 17, 2012
Jul 17, 2012 at 2:53 AM UTC
qui tollis peccata mundi, dona eis requiem
Bejesus we walked so far!
It was beautiful country, mind,
feet dappling through hedgerows
that led from the city, in silence,
to rest where all flesh shall come.
I remember how it started,
walled in with the others.
Lord you could dance!
How were they to comprehend
that the kink in my arm
and your off-beat jive
could lead us unguided
to narrow pathways forcing single file?
By a river we sat together—
amid long words and fingerprints
your skin bled dark with guilt
and for my part I saw coracles
sprout upon your breath.
We weighed down these little craft
with the chains of our sins
and tied fast the bones of our future
as payment for the ferryman.
One day perhaps, the river will dissolve to ash,
revealing our two disciples
discarded as the chance to heal,
there will be love
like a great and gentle pulse
mingling with cold stones
and memories our
downcast eyes, cheekbones to the fore.
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 22, 2011 at 11:07 AM UTC
the first time I can recall a teapot whistling in the manner I’d imagined
a teapot
to whistle
my brother was cutting himself in the tub, gingerly, a test run…
-
the whistling scared the **** out of him, the bejesus
-
being made of nothing allowed brother
to volunteer
in New Orleans
after Katrina
he opened a few refrigerators
that’s all it took
-
without my brother, I’d be in his words
beside myself
some ****** eared stranger mucking up a white door
listening
as if to a radio
announcing the missing
blow up dolls
by name
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 4:00 PM UTC
returning home from an evening out,
I'm in bed never later, than 5 minutes after,
which never fails to provoke a
"How can u be in bed so fast?"
same reply, every time,
got you women, got you girl,
to do the nighttime girlie stuff,
so you can kiss your fast asleep man,
a tender good nite...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
puttering punches
woke up energized,
called to muster,
dishwasher emptied,
the fresh grape vine scissored
into manageable bite size clusters,
coffee machine oiled and coiled,
fresh beans and water, dregs downloaded,
if we had a lawn,
I'd rake the invisible leaves
she later arrives,
sees my puttering efforts,
cowgirl mounts me to squeeze the bejesus outta me,
then punches me in the arm
to express her unmeasured pleasure
as is her wont,
me, don't say nuttin', just smilin'
cause I kinda punched first...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
paid bills
paid some bills this morning,
the kind that don't come in the mail,
but eyes read and and the heart knows,
these are dues you need paying,
no questions asked,
no answers given,
checkbook lighter,
but then again,
so is the heart,
the day starts well,
maybe even the year,
a lighter start
for the new year..
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 7:44 AM UTC
Sunday!
A gray mouse on a blue morning.
The cat must've went away on vacation
Or atop of the bookshelf
dead asleep. I can surely use him!
Mr. Snowball where are you at?
He is a miniature version
of a polar bear, hence the name,
Snowball, an obese cat of thick white fur.
I see the smallest of mice and I immediately
turn into a scared elephant
on the brink of a nerves breakdown
hanging on a chandelier for dear life.
I can't stand seeing those little gray
creatures roaming around the house
scaring the bejesus out of me and sending
me into a frozen-like coma.
It was on that Sunday morning when
I was feeling blue as I sat down to work
on my writings like any regular day
when that little gray mouse suddenly crossed
my feet and my heart dropped to the floor.
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 9:10 PM UTC
(alternately titled random axe of violence)
I calculated an average
of ~10.16.... deaths per year
of mass school shootings since Columbine,
a morbid benchmark where,
iGen / Gen Z 1995 - 2012 bore significant hit,
now students require armed guards to learn - veer
really within purportedly "safe places",
which statistics tracks a unilinear
trend, and justifiably causing
absolute zero reassurance
countering alarmist state of mind dust tear
ability to accept rationale
dismissing greater probability
prevails lightening will strike loved ones,
nonetheless share
ring understandable expressing
rightful salient concerns with school board
quotidian possibility son(s) and/or daughter(s) rare
lee remain mum at every opportunity,
how second amendment does not square
with democratic e pluribus unum firmament,
lieutenant management,
quintessential reverent tenets
pointing trigger finger of accountability
at lax gun purchasing rare
lee does emotional uproar demanding
immediate controls, limitations, restrictions,
et cetera on firearms scare
the bejesus from stalwart National Rifle Association,
whence spokesperson doth prepare
convincing rebuttal (lock, stock at barrel) overbear
ring lee outgun legitimate
parental concerns, now near
daily occurrence hardly cause a flinch glossed
inducing similar reactions as
sports home team defeated, sans mere
slightly raised eyebrows while headline news
when another tragedy gets tacked
unto the 122 students killed since Columbine
took innocent lives 19 plus years ago
which ** hum sacrifice of youth or teachers bare
lee induce ripple despite an increasing number
of spent bullets fallout inflicting
more than 208,000 vulnerable
impressionable psyches sorrows need a lifetime to air!
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 9:49 PM UTC
wasn’t those mommies who read story books in laps
and crooks of her ***** She shook those needle painted hooks
until said bled a velvet red and ran off alone to hide inside
the white ruffled canopy bed. She was cumbersome as the long mink
coat; she’d tote on a five-foot one frame of the mentally
insane. Little Dolly she’d call the tiny tot. Now sit and look pretty, don’t spoil your dress or I’ll beat you silly! Daddy had friends inside
his head that kept him entertained. But when he got angry with them
there was hell to pay. And he took it out on the two with garish
words and hyperbole that could fill the vortex of dolly’s soul. Between the cries and begs mommy got exasperated and wiped the floor up
with dolly’s head like a mop. She must have got brain damaged when
she pitched her skull like a baseball through the glass window. It shattered into a hundred pieces. Boy, did she beat the bejesus out of Dolly! She had welts the size of thick cigars and her behind was
on fire as a wood-burning stove and hung off her side like a overcooked
marshmallow. Mommy dearest smoked those Parliaments one after the other. And between each puff of swirling grit she’d cuss out loudly and hurl her spit. Gawd, if only she’d choke on it! The orange bee-hive hair she wore looked like a hornet’s nest. Stung a thousand times young, and a thousand more since they rolled her corpse out the door.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 6:14 AM UTC
Where's the Dolphin....
Well it's not like they have
a man or a lover, the real type
with a nine inch mahogany sword
to drag them of a computer
and thrill the bejesus out of their bodies
multiple ******* and trembling knees
a joyous beating heart and a smile as wide as mine
So sit there and make it up
any attention from the subject of your wet patches
can fuel fantasies when you later
hit the sack until tomorrow again
yea..go listen to some of my exploits
ask when she said
wow, you are just amazing, the best I've ever had
did I ever tell about her laughing
and describing those other men she's had
and how small and useless they are
she said some you had to beg for it,
cause they just don't have the strength or stamina
some are small, so you feel nothing really there
and some explode in minutes, you're left feeling mad
while some are awkward and messy
and most find it hard to get it hard...hahahah
Oh women can be so naughty
if they ain't getting it right
or ain't getting it at all
But YOU she said again and again
are the hottest *** god around you got the passion,
ten outta ten and just the best tool ever
I ain't lying to you, I ain't jiving you
so think of me right now as you always do
I am called the milk man, cause I always deliver
some call me Martini, cause I can do it anytime, anywhere
always ready, always hard, smooth and handsome
they call me me the Dolphin and yes I can swim good, so good
so sorry you have to spend your time here
so sorry you can't find a man like me
so sorry you have to come here and vent
so sorry your life is such a misery
for if you had me, you won't wanna know a PC
less sit and write nonsense about that man with the mostest
I would have had you on your back, legs spread wide
let's go swimming with the Dolphin in tight...yeah...in tight..
yeah babies, if you have a man like me
you'll never be on the computer
writing poems out of frustration
hating yourself and your man-less state
No dolphin, only a miserable skinny sausage if at all
so do write and take your frustration out on that man
whose thought gives you a damp patch...wow....
Ain't I just so .........................
Apr 24, 2019
Apr 24, 2019 at 3:29 AM UTC
(alternately titled random axe of violence)
I calculated an average
of ~10.16.... deaths per year
of mass school shootings since Columbine,
a morbid benchmark where,
iGen / Gen Z 1995 - 2012 bore significant hit,
now students require armed guards to learn - veer
really within purportedly "safe places",
which statistics tracks a unilinear
trend, and justifiably causing
absolute zero reassurance
countering alarmist state of mind dust tear
ability to accept rationale
dismissing greater probability
prevails lightening will strike loved ones,
nonetheless share
ring understandable expressing
rightful salient concerns with school board
quotidian possibility son(s) and/or daughter(s) rare
lee remain mum at every opportunity,
how second amendment does not square
with democratic e pluribus unum firmament,
lieutenant management,
quintessential reverent tenets
pointing trigger finger of accountability
at lax gun purchasing rare
lee does emotional uproar demanding
immediate controls, limitations, restrictions,
et cetera on firearms scare
the bejesus from stalwart National Rifle Association,
whence spokesperson doth prepare
convincing rebuttal (lock, stock at barrel) overbear
ring lee outgun legitimate
parental concerns, now near
daily occurrence hardly cause a flinch glossed
inducing similar reactions as
sports home team defeated, sans mere
slightly raised eyebrows while headline news
when another tragedy gets tacked
unto the 122 students killed since Columbine
took the lives of innocent lives 19 plus years ago
which ** hum sacrifice of youth or teachers bare
lee induce ripple despite an increasing number
of spent bullets fallout inflicting
more than 208,000 vulnerable
impressionable psyches sorrows need a lifetime to air!
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 9:21 PM UTC
Awareness about behavior,
present since mine days of yore
an unswerving allie analogous
to peacekeeper ending civil war
belated insight suddenly realized
(better late than never) doth underscore
incumbent proactive communication stance
belatedly bestowed omnipotent awareness
crucial fostering ingredient to shore
maternal bond above
bejesus ear splitting roar
I admit regret (to self), there
dost belie suppressed yen to pour
out sorrows 'twixt this sole him son,
and long deceased mother, he
deprived her his love and outwore
the Scottish tartan Harris tweed
welcome (haz) mat, which pained
materialized soon after her death, nor
can compensation be made,
now ex post facto,
when futility of spilt tears got more
gauged and swept away, when
nary a trace I privately cried
amidst lachrymose lakeshore.
20/20 hindsight brought me unflagging mast
into stark painful focus,
essentially how mine
formative behavior wrought avast
dystopian emotional fractured mindscape,
which non positive coping methods
lit fuse kindling devastating catastrophic blast
from yesteryear to present silent woebegone
desolate gloomy terrain past
grandeur eclipsed by present gloom
finds yours truly stranded like cast
away bleached flotsam upon coast
amidst tempestuous rocky shoals
clinging for dear life with grasp fast,
Where tenuous, precarious,
and ludicrous ship
of state can no longer maintain
even a marginal grip
but with slight equip
age willing, wedding,
and wanting brings relief from whip
lashed incurred (within body) showing rip
pulled scarred taut welts testimony, sans
long electrified with aggravation,
excruciation, and intoleration can easily flip
a figurative switch in summary
ushering final lip
service to charade,
facade, and masquerade
at lightspeed didst clip
this...Potemkin Village,
where everything "FAKE,"
asper envisioning flickr
ring mirage recounting ancient Egypt!
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 3:53 PM UTC