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winter sakuras Jun 2019
I used to think it'd be nice
if people could brew their characters
and personalities to filter out
their destructive traits and twisted perceptions
derived from the challenges
that the world has ****** at them
to distinguish what kind of individuals they have become,

as if they had been freshly brewed
pitchers of dark roast coffee
that somewhere along the way,
got coffee beans jammed in the grinder,
generating grainy, polluted, dark, undrinkable water
so then they take a clean, white paper filter
and pour their mixture of grains
and water through it
in the hopes of salvaging some lush coffee
while removing clumps of impurities,

but life isn't a coffee maker that can easily be fixed
and me and you aren't just cups of coffee
that went wrong;
it is by nature that we will not make it through
the world unscathed and unashamed,
and we have not yet found the purpose to our lives,

every single time we go through the filter
and somehow end up with a trail of trash
following us to the other side,
it's not our fault; we didn't break any laws
and besides, every single person we visit
has a trail of crushed, damp, coffee grains
outlining their homes,
trailing behind them like their own shadows,
even spilling out from their clenched hands
and tightened mouths,

but every single time I ask if I can taste you
despite all the dark grainy beans polluting
your freshly brewed coffee,
you still taste so rich and savory
while burning the back of my throat
with your smiles, motions, and words,

and as time continues to flow,
I find it gets easier to sweep up
the crushed grains and pile them on the side
as I continue to savor you,

and the rest of the people in the world
and their polluted, grainy, luscious coffee.
In the past, I used to wish I could only experience the good aspects of people, while filtering out their bad traits and characteristics.

Now, somewhere along the way, I've realized that being able to appreciate people for who they are, despite their flaws and misconceptions, is a part of growing up and expanding my role in the lives of everyone I get to associate with.

We're all just products of the world and the environment of our surroundings, so we might as well accept that we'll all be flawed in some way or the other. However, we can still choose whether or not we let the flaws of others affect ourselves personally.

06/12/19
  Jun 2019 winter sakuras
b e mccomb
at 4 in the
morning the sun
is never up
but i usually am

i worry
about things
that are out of
my control
even more about
things that are

get up early
when i work
and earlier
when i don’t
the older i get the
more i learn
sometimes you
need to cry it out

alone
at night
into your pillow
the blankets
wrapped all
around you

sometimes you
need to cry
and cry
and cry

until the morning
sun falls across
the tears dried
under your lashes

and the lump
in your throat has
dissolved so you can
breathe with ease

you need to get up
let hot water
wash it away
let the steam rising
from your mug soften
any sorrow left around
your morning eyes
take a deep breath
don’t mention it
to anyone

and
just
keep
going

i will
just
keep
going
copyright 9/7/18 b. e. mccomb
  May 2019 winter sakuras
Blade Maiden
Sleeping in a silent forest
night sky come and swallow me whole
I promise I won't protest
These stars may fill my tired soul
And these trees, oh, how I love thee
Lush and green, dark and eerie
This is where I long to be
Here is where I'd never be weary
I put my life onto the earth
Dig myself a hole for a bed
This is where lies all lifes worth
Here everything is, I miss nothing I haven't had

Roots may pervade me, leafs shall cover
And in my stead another will grow
I will dissolve in the arms of my last lover
And of all misfortune it will never speak nor will it show

On new branches my soul will hang
until another
  Apr 2019 winter sakuras
will
Do you not look at the moon
and love it for the way it reflects the sun
and think it beautiful regardless of the craters and scars

The night is not seen in darkness
but in the moonlight
I was reading The Dark Below and read a really sweet line about loving someone even with their disfigurement so I wrote this.
  Apr 2019 winter sakuras
irises
someday it will
come again.
someday someone
will come in.

a star
with the deepest depths in the eyes
with the gentlest of breaths
and endless soul in the smile

one day
i'll forgive this pain
not forget -
forgive.
we are all destined to love again, i am sure
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