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Your beauty is haunting me
It draws a fine line between irational and rational state of being
Like the life we chose doesn't define the right and wrong on either side of my mind
I can't define what it is that makes me feel this way

Because this isn't caused by some lack of faith, truthfully
I just feel like sometimes you block my view into the inside of your mind because you're terrified of what I might find
And I can't decide if it's because of something I've done,
My arms stretched wide enough to catch whatever piece of you I can find, I've given you everything
Why do I still feel like a stranger when I look at you, as if the contours of your skin are as far as you'll ever let me in and even when I feel like I'm finally close to your core, you put on a few layers more,
Like this love is a burden you want no part of,
Like your frozen shoulder might melt if you put some distance between it and the stone cold fear,
And I think I can't breath because it feels like I've seen this before,
You're struggling to carry the weight of the world I live in and I can't seem to even take my own weight off the globe resting on your shoulder blades,
I just know that I love you and I hope you'll stay,
Because this love isn't likely to go away.
And it was all at once I knew that she never loved me.
It wasn't because of spite and it wasn't because she never tried,
It just was
She thought she did,
But love is elusive and it's easy to love someone in parts,
And in parts she loved me well,
Until I fell to pieces
And then it came,
The I can't do this, the I's in her eyes
And I knew she didn't know,
I wanted to be angry,
Because I loved her with all of me
But she only loved me with pieces.
And maybe one day she'll know
I truly hope so,
But for now I'll remember the pieces.
I can't remember life without you,
And it hasn't been very long
But something about you makes me think that I never again want to not know your name
I don't want to wake up alone
Without your chest to lean on
Without your breath to breath in
I've missed what I've never had
And I'm glad to have it back
I'm sorry
For the amount of times my words may hurt when they don't mean too
And for never knowing what to say even if the answer stares me in the face
For never loving you half the amount I should
For letting my day come between us in the stupidest of ways
For not letting you know how much what you call being clingy means to me
I'm sorry
That sometimes I forget that you aren't my mother
That I always think before I act
That I can't always be the version of me you seem to see
I'm sorry
For not being there everytime you're scared
I don't have a good excuse, except maybe that I'm human
But I don't know what that means so it isn't good enough for me
I'm sorry
That sometimes I need too much space
That some days my brain carries me away
That sometimes I get so enthralled in my thoughts that I don't remember their subject is next to me
Becsause I think about you in that white gown every day now
And I guess I've been so excited to get there that I've forgotten how we got here
How I've smiled every time your eyes crinkle at the sides and how you compliment the parts of me that I hate the most
Thank you
For loving how I see the world
For loving those parts of me I wish away every day
And for giving me that space
even though I feel like sometimes I don't give you yours.
You're a beauty, and I'm a beast
But love is an euqation and we've been variables but I believe that if we get in there and plug ourselves in, this will work
Thank you
Because we don't fight, we argue
Because you've solved my values
And I can't wait to see all the little ways in which the things we used to say to each other from the moment we met spring to life
Thank you
For not believing in pre-destined fates because although circumstances have fought against us, I chose you, and you chose me
And I hope one day we both can see, the product of all we see before us
You,
Are as beautiful now as you have been forever and forever after
Are a gem who has sprouted from the dust
Are the polish to all my rust
Are the love that completes my heart.
I love you
Everybody
Is broken
At least a little bit
Since when did brokenness land on a measurement of more, or less?
Like, beaten is better than broken,
It's better to be battered than shattered

But last I checked broken was a loss of functionality,
If you can't do the same things you used to without crying,
You're just as broken as the rest of us,
If you just don't smile as often as you used to,
You're just as broken as the rest of us,
If you can't even hold a pencil without your hand shaking,
I'm sorry, you're broken, just like the rest of us.

What if I told you that in order to be truly broken you have to accept it,
What if I told you that in order to accept brokenness you inherently accept that you were ever whole in the first place and you, were made of pieces.
Two halves came together to make you,
And no self inflicted bashing, slashing or thrashing will bring you alive again because you were never dead
You have so many parts that have lost segments of code
You're not broken, you've just altered your directive
Because brokenness, assumes that you have a function,
And
If you can't perform a function anymore,
It's okay to find a new one.
You're not broken,
You're just weathered.

— The End —