i jump from the buildings in my mind for you
plummeting downward, grazing the air flow
with my knees breathing in to levitate
i swallow delicate poisons, the glistening remnants
of a realized reality coating my teeth
for you i am combing my memories and trying
to be better – the two-way street kind – and
i think i like myself better when i’m with you
and then some, candy kisses in my bedside drawer for later
i crawl through small round windows of faith and forgetting
subtly reaching for the microphone
knowing i’m going to shout about how i love you more
than melting into the dim orb glow of christmas lights
strung above my head / as i floated to sleep
in my grandma’s warm-breeze soaked florida house
my brain waves heave with moment-based flickers
but this all goes without saying.

Meet me before the sun comes up.
Before that ball of hydrogen dissolves,

what ever fog led us here in the night.

You spoke and wept and yelled.
The mist offered a chance
to see into your gaurded depths.

We found disclosure in the bottom

of a bottle again, but in the day

we’re distant for the knowledge.

I’m wearing the sweatshirt you cried in
and I laugh to myself as I imagine you apologizing
for the salt stains on the cuff.

I’d say I forgive you,
like it was actually something
needing to be forgiven.

And maybe you’d believe me this time.
Small steps.

And maybe you’ll believe me next time.
Proper goals.

There is a term in chemistry,
particularly in the nucleophillic
addition of alkyl halides called
pentavalent transition state
that says there could be partially
formed bond and a partially broken
bond existing at the same in a carbon atom.

Sounds nice because there is still a chance.

But my professor said that that cannot last forever.

One bond must be fully broken
in order for one to stay.

I know I have to leave...

but can I stay at least a little more?

One day I will buy chocolate milk,
One day I will fly first class,
One day my shirts will be silk,
One day I’ll have a backstage pass.

I am accustomed to saying No
To things that would make me smile,
It’s not that I’m short on dough
But splurging just isn’t my style.

The waiter asks if I’d like a sundae,
Oh my, I couldn’t do that,
Perhaps I’ll have it one day
Because I don’t want to get fat.

This attitude long ago was learned
And strangely it has survived,
Trust me I’m deeply concerned
Why I am so often deprived.

I know I deserve the best,
And shouldn’t make life tougher,
I feel that I’m overly stressed,
And I don’t deserve to suffer.

Starting today I shall vow
To indulge my deepest desires,
To spoil myself I’ll learn how
Before my dull life expires.

on the crowded quai of inception
   gilded minutes ornately revolve
time is measured in tranches of soul
   transporting moments of his essence

never versed in the outside world
   an innocent daughter of imagination
boarding a train of transfixed reverie
   her departure held fast in sistine release

such a private exhibition on public display
   their affection left open to interpretation
a tearfully expressive and inspired farewell
   within a shrine devoted to the art of the muse

Maybe,
You should start,
Feeding your own ego,
For I am busy,
With my cozy life,
In a cozy socks!

Please, take your best guess
Palm readers have *tried and failed
cause my fists are clenched

© Matthew Harlovic