Growing up,
My father warned me
About many things.

But he never warned me
To stay away from brown eyes
That glistened when she smiled
Or freckles that only appeared along her
Cheeks in the sun.

He never warned me that I could become
Hooked
On a person so easily.

That I could,
And I would
Do anything for her happiness
Even if that meant
Destroying
Myself.

He never warned me that falling in love
Could be painful,
One-sided
Cruel.

He never warned me for the rejection,
The thoughts
Of never being enough.
The nights
Of drinking
Until passing out
On the bathroom floor.

He never warned me that a person could love
You one day and
Change  
Their mind
The next.

But in defense of my father  

I don't think anyone
Could have warned me
About the dangers
Of falling in love with
Her.

My life and soul has always been like an overcrowded subway station,

everyone rushing to run away from being struck by my own damnation,


their faces getting blurred, I can’t recognize anyone anymore,

only thing I see clearly is my life from my hands pour,


But who am I to judge? I would do the same if I were them,

perhaps that is where my problems really stem,


I see my issues and my faults, my every wrong step,

but I do nothing but blame it on that I haven’t slept,


those who stay I push away, sooner or later,

so for my own lonely abyss I am the sole creator,

Cloud scuttle the sky of blue
An eye of blue catch  
The rue of loneliness dwells
Drink not from that well
For those thoughts become
Things
Traced out lines of it in all
Directions-
I will go west

Sometimes
Every now and again

My heart
       reaches out
             To touch yours

             And it will take all my willpower
        To withdraw
Those tender strings
And keep them locked inside

Sealed by a ring
        And the promise
           To do better next time.

I can sing The Animals poorly to my son a million times and he will never understand what that song does to my heart

I wrote a song once he calls it The Ocean Takes Her and loves it
Asks me to sing it **** near every night
Nothing like making your son smile with the memory of your great heart break

It’s strange to make up meanings to my tattoos when customers ask why I have them
The boss says I can’t tell people about my depression and familial disappointment
So I make up stories about this one time I met Charles Schultz’s wife
People seem satisfied with my made up answer to their polite conversation question

I have lost lovers
To this day I still can’t figure out where I put them
I mean I’ve checked under all the couch cushions

My door is never locked
I know she knows where I live
It’s just that she left her key on the counter
And I don’t want a locked door to be the reason
I mean aside from the whole other life she’s living now

I spend hours watching compilation YouTube videos of the best The Voice Blind Auditions for other countries
You know, The Voice UK, The Voice Thailand, The Voice Sweden
I do this exclusively when I should sleeping
like the 2-4 o’clock hours of the still last nights
I can’t tell if I really like them
Or if they are just entertaining enough to keep my mind occupied
I guess if I make it through the night it doesn’t matter which

The older I get the more I relate to Charles Bukowski
Not the poet, of course, the man
The broken
The bitter
The lost
The never found

I could never write a poem gritty enough for the punk rock crowd
My sadness isn’t gritty
It’s sad

My stomach is 73% beer at this point
But I don’t often get drunk any more
I just forget to *** in the mornings

I really should clean this house
There’s no telling when she might get here

But before I let you go
I can never really tell if the her in my poems
Is one of the ones that have already broken my heart
Or the one I’m still searching for
Sometimes I give you too much credit
But I always know when it’s you,
You’re the only one I call you
The rest are just her

Bye now

No devils,
no pitchforks,
no screams,
no fire,
no brimstone:
just
more people
and another
day.
  - mce

~~
An impossible eyes saw through
thick wall of light,
extend beyond the boundaries of,
couldn't touch anything,
a handful of darkness came,
did not wash away hands try to forget
but strange conclusion repeatedly comes back,
I went to sleep,
again saw the line,
hands of dream moving lights

Then the dream of eyes,
dark without light,
past the stones,
the witnesses of time then fallen sudden nebula,
came out of the space,
the time of,
time hit on the wall of sight,
sky became crunch,
matched in a point,
numerous points in the way of

I walk,
you go,
move with the spiral ways,
all mate to an infinity,
in front the new days,
open space,
I know that you're in the midst of,
seeks,
gets,
loses,
In fact in the dreams so many times,
came on over to the,
and I grew out of existence

~~
@Musfiq us shaleheen