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Valerie Csorba Nov 2014
Everything is so dark and I can't see past it.
When the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer there how am I supposed to find my way home? Your arms were the only solace I had and now I'm just here alone.
  Nov 2014 Valerie Csorba
Jack
~

I prayed for light, He sent me sun
I prayed for moisture, He sent me dew
I prayed for beauty, He sent me flowers
I prayed for love, He sent me you
Valerie Csorba Nov 2014
I just want so badly to find someone who will actually love me instead of lying to my face. I just want to find someone who won't slip up on what my name is because some other cat's got their tongue. I've never felt so unimportant to anyone but you, and I regret every second I spent loving you and spoiling you with every fiber in my being that I could muster. But I don't regret leaving you because my value has shot up since I left, and my standards have risen beyond expectations that will never be met and carnal cheat codes. The toxicity you made me shoot up is no longer in my veins and I can finally say I'm clean of you.
Valerie Csorba Nov 2014
Maybe you think she's too much like you, and that you couldn't stand loving yourself because you've seen how strongly you can love someone and it has always ended badly so you don't want to break her anymore than you already have.
  Nov 2014 Valerie Csorba
Frisk
without hesitation, i asked everyone
in the room a lighthearted question.
"you know who my best friend is?"
in the same breath, you spit out
"me." what surprised me the most
was that you didn't even think about
the question. it came naturally to you,
like how most things come. at that
moment, my spirit left my body all
in the matter of the seconds between
your reply and my initial reaction.
my soul traveled to the times we were happy,
telling each other secrets and keeping those
promises that we swore under oath. the
dreams we had about each other would
always be good dreams, not nightmares.
as much as i'd like to admit that there is
still something there, that i will be able to
call you my sister & my best friend again,
i had to be honest. i was never honest
to you and that's how i lost you. there
was nothing i could do to take back the
"no" that rolled off my tongue like an
avalanche or a confession to a holy
priest and between me and god, you
are the closest i've gotten to god. the
back burner you left me on has left
third degree burns but isn't dying a
martyr to you the best way to go?
or would you be the one to turn the
other way if i challenged death?

- kra
Valerie Csorba Nov 2014
Tonight I'll sleep with my clothes on, because I don't want to wake up from dreams of you kissing the delicate skin of my back to find that your existence is no where near me.
I don't want to suffer tonight knowing that when I wake up I'll be colder than I was in your arms when I saw you last and the only solace I have for heat are layers of fabric instead of your skin.
If there's one thing I could ask of you now, it would be to make me your lover, and make this your home so I can guarantee your safety myself instead of relying on someone else to keep that ******, beating vessel all in one piece.
I don't trust anyone with you but me, because I know things about you that no one else does and God forbid I even try to share your secrets anywhere but in the air directly between you and I. Let me grasp your hand in the dark and have you feel my warmth, so you know I'm there. So you know I won't let go.
Make me your lover and make this your home so I can cherish you like no one else will. So I can remember all of my favourite things about you and help you mellow the things I don't. So I could kiss you every night and be guaranteed to still have you the next morning. So when we say goodbye to one another, I know the timeframe it will be a goodbye for....
Because it won't be goodbye. It will be 'see you later.'
But tonight I'll sleep with my clothes on, because that way I don't have to bear my scars to anyone else but the dark beneath the fabric; so my heart can bleed freely and maybe you won't know of the loss I've suffered for you.
I love you.
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