all the boys i’ve ever loved
i thought each one would be the one
an endless cycle i can’t stop
like they can’t stop breaking my heart

and all the boys i’ve ever loved
it’s always the same story line
we either burn out, or break down
do you care to roll the dice?

and i stop and think of what we could be
if we’d open our eyes, look past the light
because it won’t be safe forever, why not dive right in?

but i will keep your head above water
even if i suffer, even if i suffocate
and i will fight until i can’t any longer
just so you’ll never have to
s
  i
    n
      k

all the boys i’ve ever loved
wish i could say i’ve had enough
but every time they break my heart
i just keep running back for more
and i stop and think of what we could be
if we’d open our eyes, look past the light
because it won’t be safe forever, why not dive right in?
and i stop and think of what we could be
if we both had any courage to breathe
but we’re pulled under, intoxicating, we sink

but i will keep your head above water
even if i suffer, even if i suffocate
and i will fight until i can’t any longer
just so you’ll never have to
s
  i
    n
      k

I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your ****** name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.

she is made of star stuff,
the lingering effect
of supernovas
colliding
and light
thrown in every direction,
the breathtaking sight
of immortal beauty,
the kind that shines
for centuries,
only to reach a destination
that doesn't worship her
as he does the blinking planets.

oh no, i almost jumped; almost got stuck
in your love
but it’s no surprise... it’s what i do every time

i gotta stop loving; see, love is
what you gotta let go of
to not be messed up

but it’s intoxicatingly sweet- loving
it’s like a drug to me- loving

so i’m going to take a dive
off the deep end, the deep end
so i can drown my senses, my senses
yeah

you tore me apart, like the storm
i should’ve known you were
but i can’t stop coming back for more

it’s intoxicatingly sweet- loving
it’s like a drug to me- loving

so i’m going to take a dive
off the deep end, the deep end
so i can drown my senses, my senses
yeah