We all know the story of the tooth fairy..
She'd leave a gift under your pillow
In exchange for taking your lost tooth
A perfect trade, A perfect dream, A perfect fantasy
My first lost tooth?- Not so perfect

You see I never saw your fist hurling towards my face
The hands that held me so close as a baby
Now became a tool of your aggression.
I just wanted to tell you good night...
To tell you everything would be okay

Because through your silent glares and late night yells,
I saw the tear of despair roll down your face...
I saw how broken you must've been
Underneath the weight of the world
Drowning your stress in bottles
Of what you called "your medicine"

All I ever wanted was to make sure you knew
How much I still loved you
Despite how many times you hurt mommy
All I ever wanted was to make sure you knew
How much I still cared
And that you were going to be okay...
We would be okay.

We could take our bikes out again
Ride down the street and dance in the rain
You could take me to our favorite park
Where I would be the superhero and save you
From the sand monster in the sand box
Then we'd go get some pizza
And watch the sun dip below the waves
The angels, you said, would paint the sky for us
And we'd ride our bikes back to the place we called home
You and mommy would tuck me in at night
And kiss me on the forehead to tell me
That I'd always be loved...
That it would all be okay

Instead,
I went in for a hug
And you punched me in my face.
You
Punched Me
In my face
....
The one person I ever trusted
The one person I ever loved
Was the reason I had blood on my lips
For the first time I could rememeber

You didn't flinch
So I didn't cry
But seven years later
I'm still stuck wondering why
You took away the happiness I was supposed to feel
When I lost my first tooth
And replaced it with this monstrous nightmare of you

Because the next morning I woke up and realized
The tooth fairy never came
To grant my one wish of being happy with you
And every morning after that I woke to realize
The tooth fairy was a fantasy
And so was my childhood happiness with you

-To: My First Heartbreak

Well I guess we all have
our own versions of the truth
Our own little realities
Mine separate from you

When I say that I'm alright
And you know that's not true
When my smile, its so fake
And I can't hide it from you

So maybe I'm living in an illusion,
Or maybe this is all just a dream.
I don't want you to see my life
how it really is.
You mean too much to me

You barely scratched the surface
of my whole life story
And to tell the truth
I don't want you to know,
Just think that my life's boring

It's better for you
and better for me
If you keep living in this illusion
Because we only see what we want to see
And you don't need to see these scars...
They hide too much of the truth
The truth I myself hide from.

And I hope you'll never have to find
The ugly truth that I call my life
I'll keep it all buried in time
In this pain, in this strife.

I'm trying to hold on
To this little sliver of a lie
that holds the broken pieces of my reality,
Telling myself I'll be alright...
That this pain is just an illusion
And in truth I'll be fine.

But I was never good at lying
And I'm just doing this for you.

Because you're
safe
in your own little
reality
As long as its
Far
from my own little
truth.